


Under the Rose

by presidentlena



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Arkham Asylum, Batman - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Gotham City - Freeform, Honestly this is somewhere between new 52 and BTAS, Lucy Quinn - Freeform, Mental Health Issues, PoisonQuinn, Slow Build, Unplanned Pregnancy, harlivy - Freeform, idek what i'm doing, lotsa gay, rebirth series, the new 52
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 67,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/presidentlena/pseuds/presidentlena
Summary: Pam was scared she'd figured out what was wrong. "You're... Pregnant, Harley?"





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just want Harley and Pammy to raise Harley's kiddo together so. This happened.

Their heist couldn't have been more successful. Perfectly executed, the infamous Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy had been able to rob a good amount of money from a millionaire just on the edge of Gotham City. "Talk about easy, Harl." Pamela wrapped her arm around Harley's shoulder as they plopped down on the couch together and dropped the bag of cash to the side. "Ya'd think someone as important as 'im would have some decent security. That guy's practically throwin' dough at us, Red!" Harley agreed, pressing herself into Pam's side. 

"Honestly." Pam nodded, grabbing the T.V. remote and giving it to Harley. Harley switched between channels, before letting out a delighted 'yay!' and putting it on some dumb cartoon Pam could never seem to understand. The redhead rolled her eyes, but she did secretly enjoy watching Harley's exaggerated reactions to whatever was happening on the little screen. 

But, tonight, Harley had stopped reacting about ten minutes in, and was unusually quiet the rest of the time, staring almost blankly at the screen. 

Kindly, she waited for Harley to finish the episode before bringing it up (she'd learned not to interrupt Harley's shows, after the girl had pretty much thrown a temper tantrum over it).

The end credits began rolling before a commercial for some crappy 'as seen on T.V.' product jumped on the screen, so Pam asked. "Are you okay, Harley?"

Harley looked at her and blinked, confused, before smiling a little and shaking it off, "Aw, I'm good, Red. My tummy's just feelin' a little funny tonight."

Not entirely convinced, Pam thought of what to say. Pretty much every time the clown girl wasn't her usual self it was because of a certain man Pam hated above all others. After a moment of thought, Pam moved her arms and ran her hands through Harley's red and black hair, pulling her pigtails loose gently. She kissed Harley's cheek, "Let's go to bed. It's late anyway."

Harley nodded in appreciation. She followed her plant-loving girlfriend to their bedroom, and they fell asleep quickly, Pam's arm wrapped around Harley's waist and Harley gripping Pam's hand tightly.

Somehow, the room felt empty when Pam woke in the late hours of the night/early hours of the morning. At first, her mind clouded by sleep, still, Pam couldn't place it, but after a moment, she got her brain together enough to ask, "Harl?" Upon not receiving an answer, she reached beside her, and... That explained that hunch that something (or someone) was missing. Harley, who had fallen asleep with Pam as she always did, was indeed gone from her spot, the blankets pushed down to the foot of the bed on her side of the bed.

Pam, despite herself, felt worried. What if something had happened to her? She could have had another nightmare of abuse from that wretched man. Maybe he had contacted her. That wouldn't play out well for the Joker. She slid out of bed, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness as she slowly made her way to the door. The wooden door creaked slightly as it opened. There was a light on in the room with the little T.V. Harley loved so much, so Pam headed there. "Harley?" The botanist called softly, upon entering the small room and spotting Harley's figure slumped sadly on the couch. "Why are you up?" Lips pursing as the blonde sniffed and tried to cover her face with her hands, Pam sat next to her, and took her hands away from her face. 

Harley's eyes were red and puffy, still with small droplets running from them, and Pam took notice of her attempts to stop crying, trying to keep Pam from seeing her now she was in the room with her. Sniffing, again, Harley smiled widely, and apologetically, "Sorry I woke ya, Red." She shook her head roughly, her currently messy black and red hair mixing together rather than staying on their respective sides. "I'm fine, really. Go back ta bed."

A sigh. Pam took the clown's hand in her own, and ran her thumb over Harley's knuckles, "Harley, you know perfectly well you can't fool me, especially when it's very obvious you're not okay." Harley was silent, staring down at their intertwined hands rather than at Pam's eyes. There was complete silence. The plant goddess knew to let Harley tell her when she worked her words out, rather than rush her, and so she sat, patiently. "I'm scared, Pamela." She said quietly, her forced smile completely gone now. Use of Pam's full/real name usually meant it was serious. That she knew well.

"Talk to me." 

"I found somethin' out. I'm scared and I don't know what ta do 'bout it..." Harley let go of Pam's cold hand and clamped her own together, using them to support her head as she hunched over. "I— Mistah J, he got me..." She trailed, but Pam's analytical brain took over, and... Adding some things up, Pam was scared she'd figured out what was wrong. 

"You're... Pregnant, Harley?" Would it be too much to hope she was wrong?

Harley nodded, "He doesn't know. He," Her voice seemed to pick up a wave of utter panic, "He can't know, Red! D'ya know what would happen?! He's too busy, he can't have a kid..." 

Pam pulled Harley closer to her, silent, not speaking in order to maintain her anger towards the Joker. She didn't want to let Harley see any anger and think it was towards her rather than the man who deserved it. When would that clown stop ruining Harley's life?

"An', I don' know how to raise a kid! An' I'm wanted in twelve states, I'm a criminal!" Harley sputtered, clutching onto Pam's arm for support. "An', an' can you imagine how terrible it'd be for the kid, Red? Every person in Gotham, out ta get the poor kid just because of me?" 

"This is a lot to take in, daffodil." Pam admitted, but nonetheless rubbed her hand over Harley's stomach, "But don't worry yourself. You're going to be okay, alright? And so is it." She patted Harley's stomach twice to indicate who she was referring to. "And, for the record, the kid is lucky to have you for it's mother."

"B-but—"

"We can lay low for a while, when it gets about time for it. So we don't have to worry about the Bat or going to Arkham. I've got you, okay?"

She wanted Harley to believe her.

Harley nodded slowly, before crying again and burying her face into Pam's chest. "You're not alone, Daffodil," Pam told her quietly. "I'm here."

-

In the morning, Harley seemed to be feeling a bit better now that Pam was aware of her situation. It must've felt a lot lighter, to have somebody else know. To have the comfort. The love, the care Pam gave her.

Pam had decided to be extra tender with Harley from the second she awoke with the girl still laying in her arms, looking so incredibly vulnerable and tired. She ran her hand over Harley's tangled hair, brushing the colored locks through her fingers. "Harl,"

Sighing quite contentedly, Harley opened her eyes as she answered, "Yeah, Red?"

Pam debated the question inside herself quickly. "Are you going to keep it?"

"I want ta, Red." The clown confirmed, though her voice had a hint of uncertainty. "Should I, though?"

"Like I said. The kid's lucky to have gotten you for its mother. If you want to keep it, you should." She reassured, but honesty, she didn't know if it was a great idea for a psychopathic villain to have a kid... But, she knew Harley, and Harley wasn't like any other villain, she was sweet and caring when she needed to be. Pam wanted whatever made Harley happy. Harley could handle a challenge, she would be okay. "...Do you have names in mind for your baby?" Pam knew Harley was the kind of girl who would immediately start thinking of names (even if the situation was less than perfect). Harley managed to shine no matter what. It was something Pam loved.

"Gee, Red." Harley was quiet for a second, before smiling, truly smiling, in her beautiful way (Pam just about melted, seeing Harley so happy, though she wouldn't admit to such). "I'm gonna name her Lucy."

Pam's eyebrow quirked, "And if it's a boy?"

"Nope. Lucy's definitely a girl, I can feeeeel it. She's gonna be Lucy Quinn, and she's gonna be a badass." Harley said it in such a serious manner, Pam could barely suppress a chuckle. "She's gonna be the one ta totally destroy Batsy, well, if her momma doesn't do it first. 'N Lucy is going to kick even more ass after that." She added as an afterthought, "Also, if she's an asshole, I'm blamin' it on ya."

"Are you now?" Pam suppressed a grin, amused. 

"Yep. Ya know, I would blame it on Kitty, but Lucy's gonna be around ya way more, and you're pretty stone-cold 'n bitter sometimes, ya know."

Chuckling, Pam shrugged. She was aware of that. "Okay." It was her plant-side, after all. Harley was really the only one who brought out her human side. With a wave of her hand, one of her plants lifted up to her, and she received a small daffodil from it. She tucked it in Harley's hair gently. Harley seemed very content, lifting her fingers up to it and ghosting her forefinger over the soft petals softly as not to harm it. She respected plant life, she knew they were alive and she knew they were Pam's friends. That made the plant goddess very grateful.

"Hmm." Harley shifted, so she could face Pam. "You're so good ta me, Pammy. Thank you." She said lightly, tangling her hands in Pam's red curls, and said, with a stifled giggle, "Gimme some sugar," before moving forward to seal their lips together without waiting for a response. Pam instantly wrapped her arms around Harley's waist and pulled her closer, and she could feel Harley trying to contain her smile in order to kiss her properly.

After a few moments, Harley pulled away, giggling, and fixed Pam's red hair as best as she could, "Love ya, Red." Pam's smile was obvious; hearing those words from Harley always managed to completely break her cold front. Harley's 'I love you's were Pam's kryptonite, if you will.

"I love you, too," Pam stated, watching Harley as she stood and walked to the kitchen, humming a pretty little tune. Harley was the most perfect human she'd ever met, Pam had decided that long ago. There was just something special about the woman. Honestly, she'd know that deep inside herself even when they first had met, and made a getaway from that museum together. That's why she had given Harley the immunization to her toxins.

After a moment of thought, Pam stood, and trailed to the kitchen to monitor Harley. The last thing they needed right now was Harley burning the kitchen down in one of her attempts to cook. "You sure you want to cook?" She asked teasingly. "Yep," Harley said, looking determined even as she nearly dropped an entire carton of eggs (Pam inwardly cringed at the near accident), "I don't know about ya, but I for one think I'm gettin' a lot better at it. I didn't even burn the eggs last time!"

"Good old fashioned female self-esteem." Pam said instinctively, and Harley nodded, "That's all thanks to you, Red." Pam was about to protest that Harley could only thank herself for her growing confidence, but was cut off, "I'm makin' ya Pam-cakes. Here's ta hopin' they don't burn. Or get stuck ta the ceiling. Again." She smiled beautifully at Pam, before returning back to her work.

Pam absolutely adored the woman's smile, loved that she could have it even in such a hard time. As stupid as it sounded, Pam never wanted Harley to stop smiling. She wanted Harley to never shed a tear, she wanted to fix that broken woman.

And maybe she would, eventually.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley gets in her own head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who's leaving kudos and comments!
> 
> I'm going to try and write at least 1,333 words a day, so I should be updating this daily except for on Saturdays and Sunday's. I'll post the chapters from then all on the next Monday.

There seemed to constantly be a sort of angel-devil dynamic sitting on Harley's shoulders, and it was driving her a little mad. Well, more than usual. She already was quite mad. Harleen was, of course, the Angel, and was for the whole 'having the baby' thing, but the devil, the Joker, was spewing little thoughts into her mind, saying awful things about her, about the child. About Pamela, even. It was irritating as all hell to Harley. She was thankful she had Pamela's support; Pam calmed her down, took her mind off the little Joker filling her with negativity; anger, sadness, regret. The plant goddess made her focus more on the Harleen view of her life.

For some reason, this time around, the voices were far stronger than they had been in times before when the little opposing voices appeared in her head. Harley thought she could handle them, though. After all, it was just in her head.

Even with those voices reminding her of how awful the real Joker was, Harley wasn't entirely sure how to respond to Pam's suggestion that day.

Pam had been talking to her flowers, nearly whispering, and Harley had been impatiently reading one of Gotham's newspapers, looking for any reports on the man they'd been stealing money from. There was nothing. That guy must really be clueless, Harley was thinking to herself with a little snicker. 

"Are you done with the Joker?" Pam had asked suddenly, loudly and towards Harley, though still she looked down at her flowers, petting the petals on one.

Harley thought the answer was obvious. "Yeah, Red... You know what he'd do."

Harley could hear the hesitation in Pam's voice, "You've said before you were over him, but you went back every time anyway."

"I'm done for real this time, really." The harlequin woman assured, her eyebrows knitting together in worry. She really didn't want Pamela to be disappointed or angry with her. She thought she could hear his voice in the back of her mind, telling her she was wrong, that she'd always come back to him, she needed him. She pushed it further back.

"...You should get rid of all of your Joker... Things." Pam said slowly, finally turning away from her flowers and looking at Harley, "I think it would help to not have things that remind you of him around. I mean, your owning a doll of him can't possibly be helping you move on, kid."

That was difficult. She really did want to be done with him this time, but... He was still apart of her mind. He was always there even when he wasn't there physically. It didn't feel right, even the idea of ridding herself of everything that is of him, or from him. 

Harleen came back to her.

Harleen's voice rang in her mind with common sense, that Pam was right. That she should just do it, get it over with. The Joker wasn't worth even thinking about. 

"I don' know," She said finally.

Obviously, by the look on her face, that wasn't what Pam was hoping to hear. Harley suspected it was still more than what Pam had expected. 

"I know you can't move on from him just like that, sweetpea, I know." Pam said in understanding, but still it sounded sad, "He hurt you in a lot of ways. Scarred you, mentally and physically. But... Can you start small? Get rid of a couple of things?"

"Yes," Harley agreed without hesitation, even though she really didn't want to. She just wanted Pam to be proud of her. She couldn't be a disappoint to anyone else. After all, in her mind, Joker didn't love her because she messed up and disappointed him. Maybe if she had tried harder he...

The smile Pam had was enough to block out the Joker for that moment.

-

They did it during the night.

Gotham was dark, no one was about except for maybe a few clueless fools who knew not of the danger that lurked in Gotham at these hours, and a few thugs here and there. Anybody in their right mind knew better than to mess with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, though. If anybody tried anything, it was simple; they'd be killed fair and square. 

Plus, it was less likely to have Batman chase after them. Of course, the Dark Knight stalked around in the dark far more than the day, but in the dark there were less civilians or members of the Gotham City Police who could see the women and report to Commissioner Gordon, who would do doubt turn the bat signal on without hesitation, and ten minutes later the women would find themselves in straight jackets being shipped off to Arkham Asylum. 

Harley had been hoping maybe Pam would let her keep the items in a box or some thing similar in a different room of the house. When she was growing up she did that, she never threw out toys from when she was younger, but rather passed them down to her younger siblings or kept them away in the attic. Pam, however, apparently had other ideas, and that was too get those Joker things as far away from Harley as possible. And make sure they wouldn't be found by Harley ever again.

Pamela kept the items close to her, carrying them with several vines that she had follow them. Harley's heart felt like it was going to fall straight to her stomach every time she looked at them. Why am I doing this? She asked herself, her stomach tying in knots. Her arms wrapped around her stomach tightly, hugging herself as if she could hold herself together that way, keep from falling apart. She couldn't throw them away. She needed them. They were a piece of him. She needed the Joker to love her. She needed him. She— No. Harley wasn't going to let herself fall under his spell again. She wasn't going to be his... Victim.

She was never his girlfriend. He never loved her. She was a victim. A victim in one of his sick jokes, his games, his act.

To say she was his victim, though, didn't seem right to her. He showed her acts of love just as much, maybe even more than he hurt her. He kissed her, held her. The Joker told her she was his. He sometimes broke her out of Arkham, right...? He gave her little gifts. He gave her her hyenas. He let her play his games with him. 

There had to have been something. He had to have felt something for her. It couldn't possibly be so simple, to say she was merely a victim. There was something else in their relationship other than him victimizing her, Harley wouldn't let herself think otherwise.

He was insane. He never loved anybody.

So, of course he wouldn't know how to treat someone he loved, right? 

Though, Harleen told her that his insanity was no excuse for how he treated her. 

Harley could smell the bay as Pamela and she stopped.

Pamela looked at her, "Are you okay, darling?" 

No. She wasn't. "Yeah," Harley said quickly, because if she didn't say it then she never would.

"May I?"

Don't. "Yeah."

Maybe it was stupid of her to be freaking out over a few silly things that the Joker gave her. Maybe it was completely ridiculous such a simple act was causing her to hate herself and believe again that she deserved him to hit her.

Harley could hardly pay attention as Pamela threw them into the water, as the splash was heard before it was silent again. 

-

No one had seen them during their little trip. That was good. 

Harley stared at the tattoo on her stomach, the one that said 'property of J'. That tattoo would haunt her forever, if she got over him, wouldn't it?

She was sitting in Pamela and her's bedroom, looking at it, as if she were expecting Joker to burst through the window any moment and hurt her for trying to get over him, or manipulate her into loving him again, into devoting herself to him, into doing anything he asked for. 

Pamela wouldn't let her watch the T.V. right then. She saw him on the news. So she just sat, and fought against her thoughts that attempted to consume her.

Harley felt so tired. 

Why didn't he love her?

Was it that she messed up? Was it her voice, her accent? Or her appearance? Her childish nature?

"Harl," Pam's voice came softly from the doorway, interrupting her thoughts, and Harley halfheartedly looked up at the beautiful woman. "I made you something to eat."

"Thanks, Pammy, but I'm really not feelin' up to eatin' right now." Harley said, a weak smile on her unpainted face. She really didn't feel hungry. Just tired and empty. "I'm proud of you, you know." This caught Harley's attention, and she looked at Pam in wonder. "I know that was difficult for you, but," Pam paused, "Don't beat yourself up over it. He won't hurt you, he can't hurt you. You're doing the right thing, trying to get over him." 

Pamela was too good to her. Harley didn't know why she deserved the botanist. 

"I... Thank ya lots... I'm okay, really." Harley blew her a kiss, "I'm gonna sleep early, enjoy ya dinner, okay?"

"...Goodnight." Pam said, bringing a pretty little daffodil to Harley by extending a vine wrapped around the flower's stem to the woman. "You're going to get past him this time, I promise."

Harley took the little flower gently, smiling a small smile; the corners of her lips just barely tilted upwards. She fell asleep rather easily, holding the beautiful daffodil to her chest, careful not to hurt it. Flowers were alive after all, and they were fragile. Fragile, and beautiful. People hurt them sometimes, but they still grew. People hurt them without noticing how important they are.

For a brief moment as she fell under the spell of sleep, Harley thought maybe, in some way, Pamela was relating the flower to her.

 

She didn't dream of the Joker that night.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain kitty joins the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look a chapter where Harley isn't depressed hallelujah

Harley Quinn seemed to attract the attention of a lot of crime bosses. 

Word got around Gotham quickly that Harley Quinn might not be working for her 'boyfriend' any longer.

Selina was well-aware the Joker's last few crimes had been committed by himself, along with his henchmen. No Harley Quinn. Harley Quinn hadn't been seen by the GCPD, or Batman, or anyone else in the past month, and it was unnerving to most people, civilians of Gotham, mostly. Harley was almost always playing a part in the Joker's games, and usually when either of the two, or both, weren't seen for a while but also weren't locked away... Something was being planned. So it worried the people of Gotham.

The dark side of Gotham was less worried about it. 

Honestly Selina was curious, and she snuck around a bit, listening to the crime bosses of Gotham's lackeys talk. It turned out criminals were always up for gossip. The job must be boring when Batman wasn't around to put up a real fight. 

From what she gathered, the idea was that Harley had either been killed by the Joker ("surprised he didn't do it years ago," was one comment on the matter) or was hanging around Poison Ivy (some Penguin henchmen claimed he saw the two at Gotham Bay in the dark).

And this all wasn't even to mention she heard the Joker planned on getting his little toy back. But then again, she'd heard he didn't even notice was gone still.

Selina got distracted from what she was doing, seeing an odd sight out of the corner of her eye. Taking a look, she saw... Well, judging by the scene of a woman with red and black hair going into a Gotham Burger with her hyenas, the first rumor that stated Harley was indeed dead was definitely false. 

In honesty? She very much wanted to know what was happening with the Joker and Harley. After all, curiosity and cats do go together, don't they?

So she sat back and waited for Harley to get done with her little act.

-

"Hands in the air, ya scrubs!" Harley yelled, firing a shot into the ceiling as she skated calmly into Gotham Burger. Of course, a known criminal walking into the place waving around a gun got the civilians attention. The Harlequin Princess of Crime took a look around, eyeing everybody. Once content, seeing the people all still and fearful, she nodded, "Now, everyone stay where ya are or this," she waved to her own face, "gorgeous smile will be the last thing ya see before ya take a permanent nap." The way she wove the gun around carelessly, not paying attention to where it pointed as she headed to the counter, was incredibly unnerving to the innocents in the Gotham Burger. "Gimme two plain old burgers and a kiddy meal." She ordered the person working the cash register. She liked the toys, in her defense. 

As the employee rushed to the back, Harley caught sight of a man trying to escape out the door. "Hey, pal," She eyed him as he came to a stop, startled by her voice being towards him, "Even if ya did get out that door, my babies are out there and trust me, they're hungry. They don't get their burgers I'm gonna feed ya to 'em." She told him. It seemed fair, didn't it? "So, either sit down and let me get outta here peacefully or have fun being the appetizer."

He sat down.

"Good boy." 

She leaned against the counter, humming a cheerful song as she waited for her order. "Gee, everyone. Ya aren't very good at conversation, huh? Is it the gun?"

"H-Here you go, m-ma'am..." The shaky voice of the boy who'd she'd ordered from came from behind her. She took the paper bag from him, "Thanks! Have a good life, everybody! Mwah!" She winked and blew a kiss as she skated out the door. 

"C'mon, babies! I got ya dinner!" She told Bud and Lou, grabbing their leashes and letting them pull her along the street. Bud and Lou knew the way to Pamela's (and her's?) house by this point. Plus, with the bribery of food, the hyenas weren't messing around.

They turned into an alleyway, and Harley nearly dropped the bag as a dark figure dropped down in front of them. The hyenas halted, and growled at the figure. "Aw, I swear, if that's Batman I'm gonna lose it." Harley pouted, "Can't a gal feed her hyenas in peace?" But, judging by the hyenas reaction, she didn't think it was Batman. Her hyenas were merely growling quietly, while when Batman was around the went absolutely wild. "Ima shoot yer head off." 

"Oh, Harley, is that really a way to greet somebody? I'm hurt, deep." 

Harley's face lit up, and she snapped her gun back in it's holster, "Is that you, Kitty? Calm down, babies." She told her hyenas, before letting go of their leashes, opening the Gotham Burger bag and throwing them their dinner. She skated to the dark figure, and was able to see it was indeed Catwoman once she was close. "We haven't seen ya in ages!" She told Selina excitedly.

"I've been busy... I haven't gone out as Catwoman in a while." Selina said with a purr as Harley threw her arms around her in a tight hug. "But, really, Harl, do you have to hold people hostage every time you want a cheeseburger?"

Harley stepped back and folded her arms, "Well, in case ya didn't notice, I'm a known criminal and if ya don't threaten the people, they'll be obligated to calling the cops or bat-brain." She shrugged, "Plus, not my fault if they don't listen and get killed. I tell 'em the rules fair and square; they don't play the game right, they cheated. And I really don't like cheaters."

"In your mad mind, I'm sure." Selina said simply. Then she put an oh-so-innocent smile on her face, "You wouldn't mind doing me a favor, would you?"

"Depends. What d'ya want?"

"I've been a bad kitty. Our old friend Two-Face got a little mad at me for stealing from him." She told Harley, "He's got henchmen all around Selina's house. Mind if I stay with you and Red for a while?" 

Harley smiled brightly, "Yeah, Kitty! Well, I mean, Red's gotta have a say since it's her house, but I'm sure she'll be glad to have ya, right?"

Selina purred, "Of course." 

"Well, let's go then! I'm starvin', here." Harley grabbed Selina's arm and began dragging her, taking a moment to whistle at her hyenas, "C'mon boys!" 

Not a minute later, Harley saw police lights stop where that Gotham Burger was. "Good timin'." She said out loud, mostly to herself than Selina.

-

Pamela wasn't exactly surprised when Harley was on the news for stealing from a Gotham Burger and then came home with Selina Kyle. 

"Ohhh-Kay," Harley smiled and rocked on her heels in a manner that basically screamed she was playing innocent, much like Selina did constantly but far less discreet, "Can Kitty stay wit' us, Red?"

The botanist merely sighed. "Why?"

"Harvey's got her place all surrounded by his lackeys. Can she pleeeease stay?" Pam had to admit the way Harley sounded like a child trying to bring home an actual kitty was irritatingly adorable. Emphasis on irritating. 

"...Fine." Pam agreed, eyeing Selina, who stood behind Harley and gave a little wink. "Why don't you go eat your food, I want to... Catch up with Selina." 

Harley clapped her hands happily, "Okay, Red, thanks!" She kissed Pam on the cheek, leaving a smudge of black lipstick there, but Pam didn't really mind. And with that, ran into the T.V. room with her Gotham Burger kid's meal and Bud and Lou. 

"Okay, Kitty," Pam started, wiping Harley's lipstick off of her cheek, "Harley's IQ is way higher than yours and yet she bought that story."

"She's too nice for her own good, you know. Love her, but she's a bit of a doormat." The Catwoman paused, smirking lazily at the plant goddess. "Very helpful to me, though."

Pam glared at Selina for the 'doormat' comment. Pam herself might've said that when she first met the girl all those years ago, but she knew Harley's situation a lot better now and honestly regretted telling the girl she was a doormat when Harley could exactly help it. Harley had a big heart for a criminal. "Don't call her that. What do you actually want?"

Selina shrugged, leaning against the wall. "Do you have to interrogate me? Can't a kitty just spend some quality time with her gal pals?" 

"You? Haha. And here I was thinking Harley was the funny one of us."

"Mhmm. Really, though. I don't want anything— right now, anyways."

Pam rolled her eyes instinctively. "I'm going to go see Harley. Try not to be too much of a distraction, will you?"

Selina made an exaggerated gagging motion and sound, sticking her forefinger to the back of her throat. "No thanks, don't want to see you and her be all mushy."

Pam rolled her eyes again.

-

"Hiya, Pammy!" Harley jumped from the couch and hugged Pam, "that was quick."

Pamela returned the hug gratefully but perhaps a little awkwardly. She still wasn't entirely used to human affection after becoming a plant-human hybrid. "I suppose."

"'M sorry I didn't bring ya anything." Harley said, looking at Pam apologetically. "Unfortunately Gotham Burger hasn't expanded inta pleasing vegetarians. I swear everything on their menu 'cept for drinks and fries is meat." Pam laughed softly in her gorgeous voice, "It's fine, Harl... How're you doing?" She asked a little warily. 

Harley's grin stretched impossibly wide, "I've been great, actually, Red! And I'm really happy Kitty's gonna stay with us for a little bit, I missed her, ya know."

"I know you did, pumpkin." Pam nodded, before snaking her arms around Harley's neck and kissing her. Harley returned the kiss happily, giggling when their noses bumped awkwardly and they pulled apart just slightly.

Their next kiss was interrupted by Selina yelling "get a room, Jesus Christ, you're ruining my appetite" from the kitchen, to which Pam responded with "you're in our house, shut up, pussy". Harley laughed at that, and laughed more when Selina called Pam a bitch.

"She's lovely, isn't she?" Pam said sarcastically and slowly to Harley. 

"Very, honey." Harley stuck her tongue out at Pam, before going to tease Selina in the kitchen


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole Gotham burger situation draws attention to Harley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V short chapter, I know  
> But I figure  
> Hey  
> Two short chapters is still my word goal so . Yep.
> 
> The next one will be uploaded today or  
> Some other day idk

"Barbara," Bruce Wayne said firmly, walking into the batcave where Barbara Gordon was located. "Have you got information on the robbery?"

The oracle didn't look away from her computer screens, not acknowledging Bruce's appearance at first. In a moment, she spoke, though still kept her eyes on the screen, "Gotham Burger, east side of Gotham." She started simply, "The GCPD got a call at 4:37, from an employee named Adam Smith. Said a woman came to the place threatening to shoot, got what she wanted, and left. He made the call after she was gone." 

"Information on who the woman was?" Though, he was one hundred percent sure he knew exactly who it was.

"Red and black hair, Gotham accent, hyenas waiting outside the building." Barbara shook her head, wheeling her chair around to face Bruce. "Guess this proves the rumors she was dead wrong, huh?"

Batman grunted in response.

Barbara continued, "Would it be a stretch to say you wouldn't care as much if your hunch didn't say it was her?"

"Wether the crime be committed by Harley Quinn or not, it was against the law." He said simply, "Though if it was a less dangerous criminal, the GCPD could handle it. So, I suppose you're right." The bat paused, eyeing Barbara's computers, "Have you got a location?"

"Unfortunately, no. This is the first time anybody's seen Harley Quinn in months." Oracle told him apologetically, "I'm keeping an eye out in case the GCPD finds out anything."

"She's lucky she only committed petty theft," Bruce muttered, "We still need to get her back in Arkham before she goes back to Joker and does real damage... How about Poison Ivy, do you have anything on her?"

Another failure. "No. Same case with her, she hasn't been seen in a long time."

Batman resisted the urge to sigh in displeasure at the lack of information they had. "Keep looking for any information on either of the two, and contact me if you find anything important."

"Of course, Batman."   
-

Once back at his mansion, Bruce took out his cell phone and went to Selina Kyle's contact. He hit the call button, and lifted the device to his ear. It rang, and rang, and rang some more, before finally... "At the tone—" The playboy billionaire hung up then, not listening to the robotic voice talk. 

Selina Kyle, Harley Quinn, and Pamela Isley were known for working together in the past. They were, to some capacity, friends, even. And though Selina didn't like to show it, she did worry about Harley, mostly because of that clown who abused her constantly. Once the rumors of Harley being dead, or leaving the Joker, had gotten to Selina's ears, Bruce wouldn't be surprised if she'd gone to check them out for herself.

"Were you calling Ms. Kyle, Mr. Wayne?" Alfred asked curiously, setting a tray of tea and some crackers next to Bruce. "Yes." Bruce confirmed, "No luck. Something tells me she of all people would know where Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are."

Alfred seems almost amused at the suspicion, "Do you think the Gotham Sirens are back together?"

Bruce closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. "Who knows. Selina's a complicated woman... Though, in honesty I'm not even sure she'd tell me their locations even if she did know."

"It's possible, sir." Alfred said, "Get some rest, Mr. Wayne. If Harley Quinn is back on the streets, you need to be ready for a fight. Don't stay up all night trying to figure this out."

That got Bruce to smile. "You don't know me very well, Alfred."

"Oh, I know such a request is unlikely to happen." Alfred gave a low chuckle in response to Bruce's comment. "Do consider it, though, Mr. Wayne. Most people would have gone crazy by this point.

Bruce shook his head slowly, "I'm not like most people, Alfred. I haven't reached my limit."

"Very well, Mr. Wayne. Goodnight." Bruce returned the statement, opening his eyes once Alfred exited the room, and stared out the glass windows. Gotham never did stay quiet for long.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RIP

Honestly. 

Pamela didn't, for whatever reason, she did not know, think anything of Harley coming home with food for her and her babies. Maybe she was distracted by the fact Harley also brought home a certain irritating kitty. Either way. When she sat down and switched on the T.V. (She may mostly have it for Harley's entertainment, but since they had it she may as well keep up with the rest of Gotham), she groaned at the current story on Gotham News. 'Gotham Burger attacked by Harley Quinn'. 

Attack is a strong word, Pam the thought to herself, listening closely to the report by Jack Ryder. 

This was just perfect. All the time they'd gone unnoticed, down the drain. 

But the second someone on the station made a comment about Harley not working with the Joker, Pam's anger towards Harley for being so careless began to slowly fade into... Fear. If Harley's 'puddin'' had thought Harley was dead, or maybe didn't even notice she was gone, that was done now. "Shit," Pam muttered under her breath, "Harley, you idiot..."

If the Joker went looking for her... 

Pam stood, and went to the kitchen. 

"Sorry to interrupt," She said above Harley and Selina's conversation, feeling a little guilty about how icy her voice sounded without meaning to. Poison Ivy was apart of Pamela Isley, after all. The conversation halted, and Harley looked at Pam, her expression showing worry and confusion, while Selina simply rolled her eyes. "What's wrong, Red?" 

"You're attracting attention to yourself, Harl..." Pam told her, keeping her voice steady, "It's not about... That," Harley's blush indicated she knew Pam was referring to the child, "Right now, anyway. But, with word out you're back on the streets of Gotham... HE might try something."

Harley was silent, frowning, and looking at the floor uneasily. 

Pam didn't want to get Harley thinking about that man, but she had to. "Look, honey, please just try to keep a low profile? I don't want him to find you and hurt you anymore." When Harley didn't respond, or move at all, not showing any sign she'd even heard Pam, Pam began to get worried. Shit, she thought to herself. Harley had been doing so well, had hardly even had a thought about him for a while... Pam ruined that little moment of Harley's mental freedom from the Joker. Her silence was alarming.

When the woman went silent and ignorant of everything happening around her, it was because she was listening to him. Her barrier between him and her mind cracked, and his voice took over her mind again.

The silence was unbearable. Pam would give about anything to know what this broken woman was thinking right now. She and Selina made eye contact, each trying to get advice on what to say from each other. That had no helping affect whatsoever. 

Selina silently took a deep breath, before saying slowly, "Harl, there's no need to think about him right now. Pamela is just telling you to be careful." She began to put her hand on Harley shoulder as she said the next part, even though it was a lie and they all knew it, "There's a good chance he won't even notice—"

"Get offa me!" Harley snapped, her accented voice sharp as she raised her head and pried Selina's hand off of her, digging her long red and black nails into the skin. Selina hissed, breaking free of Harley's stabbing grip and shooting a glare at the woman she'd been trying to comfort. Selina instinctively raised her claws as she did this, but the second Harley let out a whimper of fear, she seemed guilty at her reflexes. Pamela watched this with a stoic expression. Harley was lashing out, there was honestly no way to comfort her until she calmed down enough to have rational thoughts. "...Harley, don't get too lost, okay? He's not here, he can't hurt you, you're safe." She said this even though she knew Harley probably was listening his voice rather than her's.

Harley didn't answer, but instead she lowered herself the floor and began mumbling formless nothings to herself, letting out a strangled laugh every now and then, saying 'he loves me'.

All Pam could do when she was in this state was watch her and make sure she didn't hurt herself, and wait until Harley began crying once she got her mind a little straighter so she could provide comfort. 

Pamela truly despised that wretched man.


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pam is a sweetheart ok

He wasn't there. Yet, he was. He was in her mind. And it drove Harley crazy, and not in the good way.

He told her how worthless she was. How he didn't want her. She was annoying, and useless, and got in the way, an absolute pain. How he'd kill her without a moments hesitation, how he wished her dead. His voice hurt her so much. She could feel him standing over her, could feel the scars all over her body that he had given her.

She wanted away. Or... She wanted to make him happy, but she couldn't, no matter her much she tried. She desperately needed him to love her, to want her, to need her. What good was she existing if she couldn't be good enough for him?

Harley didn't even notice she was scratching at her throat with her nails until she felt something touch her hand gently. "STOP!" She yelled, shutting her eyes impossibly tight, waiting for him to hurt her, to take away more and more of her innocence, her sanity. 

The touch faltered, but didn't leave, "Harley, please..." 

Sniffing, she opened her eyes. That wasn't her puddin'. Her puddin' wasn't that gentle, didn't have that tone of voice.

Something snapped and she realized it was Pam, holding her hand away from her throat. Harley stared at the plant goddess. That's right. She was with Pamela. Not him. She was healthy— physically speaking — and she was okay— somewhat. "Pammy," her voice cracked, and Pam seemed relieved that Harley was aware of what was happening outside of her head. Pam gently lowered Harley's hand, "Don't hurt yourself, baby..." She whispered softly, and only then did Harley notice the burning on her throat from where she'd clawed herself roughly. For a brief moment she thought about the purple and red marks that would be left there. "You're safe. He's not here... Just you, me, and Kitty."

"'M sorry, Red..." Harley apologized. "I didn't mean ta slip... He won't lemme go, Pammy."

Pamela pursed her lips, settling down next to Harley and letting the woman lean into her body for comfort and safety. "Don't be sorry, darling. It's not your fault he's hurt you." A pause. "I'm sorry, though, for mentioning him. I just needed you to be careful." 

Harley wanted to tell Pam it wasn't her fault she was so messed up, but was stopped by choking on a sob that escaped her throat. "P-Pammy..." She whispered, clinging tightly to the woman.

"Don't strain yourself, Harley... It's okay."

Harley craved the sound of Pamela's voice at that moment. The woman's deeper voice was soothing, and comforting, and relaxing. 

"I ain't ever gonna," she sniffed, "get past this, am I?" She didn't want this, to be trapped under his control for the rest of the time she was alive. She wanted free. But it seemed even when he wasn't around her he was still there to tell her how wrong she was and hurt her. 

Pamela's grip around her tightened ever so slightly, "Don't say that." She said firmly, "You, Harley Quinn, are the strongest person I know. It could take a very, very long time but... You will get through it." She paused, "You can get over him, and you definitely are going to."

Harley kept her eyes on Pamela's arms wrapped around her. She felt as if Pamela's voice and seeing Pam were the things keeping her grounded for the moment, away from him. "Gee, Red," Harley whispered sadly, "I betcha didn't realize how bigga pain in the ass I was gonna be in your life when we met, huh?"

"Harley..." Pam sighed, "You're not a pain."

"I'm messin' up your life, gettin' in the way." The clown girl pressed herself against Pam as much as she could, wishing she could stay in the safety of Pam's embrace for... Forever. "Just like I screw up everythin' he does."

Harley barely heard Pamela muttering sweet things into her ear, not being able to concentrate on her silky voice, but instead feeling like she was going to be consumed by Joker. She tried to focus on Pam's voice, but couldn't, and instead zoned out or heard him every time she tried. She liked the first one better than the second.

Really, she just wanted to hear Pamela.

—

Selina watched Pamela as the woman came down the hall from her and Harley's bedroom, shaking her head lightly. "You get anywhere with her, Pammy?" The Catwoman asked, eyebrow tilted ever-so-slightly. She had stayed out of Harley's space since she broke down, knowing full-well she'd probably scare the woman. Pamela was the only one who could help her at times like these, odd as it seemed to Selina.

The botanist shrugged. Her red hair was an utter mess, and her features were incredibly tired. "I got her to sleep." As Pam sat down, she groaned slightly, "Though, she'll probably wake up soon because of a nightmare."

"She snapped really easily this time," Selina voiced what she had noticed, and waited for Pam to respond.

"...I honestly don't think she's had a single thought about him for a while." Pam admitted, "Me bringing him up must've just let loose all of the pent up feelings about him... Selina, I really hate that man."

That made Selina smile slightly. "You hate all men, need I remind you? That's kind of your shtick."

Rolling her green eyes, Pam gave a dry laugh, "But I hate the Joker above all others. He's hurt Harley way too much."

Selina wasn't sure what to say next. She agreed entirely with Pam, she hated that man very much. She wanted Harley to get better. But, honestly, Selina had doubts about Harley saying she was moving past him. It had happened before, many times. Harley would come, beaten near to death by the Joker, seeking Pamela's help. Harley would set her mind on getting over him. Pamela would believe it. Harley would go back to him, and Pam would be torn apart again that Harley left her again for that abusive man. Repeat.

Though, Pam would probably try to murder Selina if she said anything like that aloud.

Selina was actually worried for both of them. Harley, for obvious reasons, and Pamela because she's likely end up being left by Harley again. Harley didn't even seem to realize how many times she had hurt Pamela that way, that might be the worst part about it.

Pam was the one who spoke, so Selina didn't even have to think about what to say. "If she goes back to him now... Trust me, there's going to be hell."

"I believe it." Selina said, though the look Pam had made it quite clear she didn't know the full extent to what Pam said. "This kitty's gonna go sleep. You should do the same." She suggested, looking Pam up and down, "Argue as much as you want, but you look like absolute shit." 

Pam gave a sarcastic smile, "Say what you please, darling, but I'm still hotter than you are." She went serious again after Selina laughed, "I'm going to stay up in case Harley needs me." 

"You'll be woken up if she does. I'll be woken up. All of Gotham will be woken up." Selina said a little bitterly, "Girl's loud as hell, Pammy." 

"Go to sleep before I kill you for real this time," Pam waved her hand in a manner that clearly said 'go away'.

"You're charming, Pammy. Makes me get butterflies." Selina purred.

"Cute. Now go on."

Selina rolled her eyes, before heading to the couch. The second she lied down she saw what was on the T.V. The screen showed some late night Gotham talk show, and the people on it were discussing the sighting of Harley Quinn, what they expected the Joker to do once he found out, and some other bits of gossip about the supervillains of Gotham. The Catwoman rolled her eyes, before falling sleep.


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, given I'm a kid and a lesbian I don't exactly have first-hand experience with any of this?? Haha. So feel free to let me know about any inaccuracies I've made, it would be very helpful; I'm trying my best with what little information I have.
> 
> Thank you for reading this everybody!!

A few nights later, everything was more down to earth and normal. Pamela found herself relaxing from the events that had occurred, and finally allowed herself to rest upon believing Harley was a little bit better again. She fell asleep with Harley, as she usually did, and was quite content.

What woke her was Harley shaking her. Pam groaned internally as she opened her eyes, and being immediately blinded by the sun shining through the window. She blinked a few times before acknowledging her girlfriend. "Good morning, Harley." Pam blinked in surprise when the first thing Harley did was bury her face into Pam's chest. "Bad mornin', Red," Harley corrected. "I feel like absolute shit." The woman muttered as she cuddled closer to Pam.

Pam pursed her lips, "What's wrong, baby?"

"Ya just said it." Harley huffed, "Ya know that mornin' sickness load of poop? Izzat what this is?"

"Oh," Pam found herself chuckling lightly. "I suppose so..." She paused a moment, as she started rubbing Harley's upper back gently. "Do you think we should tell Selina, about your pregnancy? She's smart—don't tell her I said that—she'll figure out something's off eventually. Especially if you're going to start throwing up all the time and eating everything in sight." Pam was mostly joking with that last part.

Harley moved her head so she could see Pam's face, and stuck her tongue out, "Nah, the 'me eating everything in sight' is normal. She won't suspect a thing." Pam smiled slightly, and kissed Harley on the forehead. "But in all seriousness, I guess we should... Ha, what a mess we both are, Pam-a-Lam."

"Haha." She drawled with sarcasm. 

Harley grinned and said, "Hey, Pam—" before she stopped, and instead raised a hand to her mouth, "Be righ' back." And with that she bolted off of Pamela and rushed to the bathroom. Pam sighed for a moment, being able to hear Harley throwing up, before getting out of bed and going to support the woman.

Selina came and curiously popped her head into the bathroom, where Harley leaned over the toilet and Pam had her hand rested on her back. The cat wrinkled her nose in disgust at the smell, before turning and going as far away from the bathroom as possible. Pamela rolled her eyes at that. 

Pam felt bad for her girlfriend. She never liked seeing the woman as anything less than happy and healthy.

Harley leaned away after a moment and groaned, "My god, Red, I did not sign up for this. I hate bein' sick."

"It'll be worth it in the long run, darling." Pam assured, and received a little smile from Harley. "But, well, right now... Clean yourself up, okay?"

Harley laughed, "I was planning on it, Pammy."

Pam nodded, a small smile playing at her lips, "You do that, and then... We tell Selina?" She hoped Harley would respond with an affirmative. Selina really was a smart kitty, she would figure it out. Pam wanted Harley to have the chance to tell her herself.

After a moment of thought, Harley nodded too. "Yeah, kitty can know. She's our pal." 

"Okay. Come find us when you're done."

With that, Pamela stood and walked out of the bathroom. She found Selina in the kitchen, looking at the screen of her Selina Kyle phone, seemingly annoyed as she tapped on the screen. She didn't look up at Pam, so the only way Pam knew Selina was aware of her arrival was because she spoke, "Batman is losing his mind trying to reach me." Selina turned the screen so Pam could see it, "The guy's called me ten times in the last day."

"Why don't you just answer it," Pam asked, deadpanning as she looked at the phone, "And get him to go away?"

Selina rolled her eyes, "I'd rather him not have Batgirl track down the call. I'm turning this thing off again in case, too." She held down the power button on the phone until it powered off. "Those two are very annoying sometimes."

"Tell me about it." Pam said, bitter voice filled with sarcasm. "They're too good for their own good, as ironic as that sounds."

"True... What was wrong with Harley?" Selina asked, moving topics. 

Pam glanced back towards the bathroom, "She'll tell you when she's done in there. Try not to be an asshole, okay, darling?"

"Can't promise that, Pam." 

After a few minutes, that were filled by Pam and Selina talking about random nonsense back and forth, Harley emerged from the bathroom and sat down next to Pam. 

"Hiya, Kittyyy," Harley drawled, and Selina lifted her hand in a small wave, raising her eyebrow. Harley looked at Pamela, and Pam nodded, "Go on. Like I said, she'll figure it out one way or another." At this, Selina looked especially curious. 

Harley shrugged, "Suppose so, Red." Then she directed her attention back to Selina. "I'm, uh, pregnant." She said a bit awkwardly, pointing at her stomach as if you could tell. It was a little noticeable, that her stomach had slightly gotten a little more round while it was usually flat, but you would have to know what you were looking for to notice.

"Seriously?" Selina looked almost unconvinced, like she thought this was some dumb joke of Harley's. 

"Heh, yeah. Who woulda guessed?" 

"And it's... His."

Pamela cut in, "It's hers, Selina. He's not going to be anywhere near it."

That seemed to provide enough of an answer to tell Selina that, yes, the Joker was the father of Harley's kid. Selina grimaced a little exaggeratedly, and mumbled so lowly Pam barely heard her, "That's gonna be one fucked up kid." Pam shot her a look, but Harley didn't seem to have heard the comment, and Pam sighed internally. If Harley had heard that Pam would have had to kill a certain cat. 

The Catwoman then stared at Harley's stomach for a moment, lips pulled tight. "So, you're actually... Keeping it?" She questioned. Pam understood what Selina was thinking, she was sure. Pam had initially figured that the baby might upset Harley, remind her of the Joker. But, really, Harley seemed quite happy. And, well... It seemed to distract her from him, even though it was a byproduct of her relationship with the man.

"You betcha, Kitty!" Harley said excitedly, straightening where she sat and seeming to have a sort of glimmer in her blue eyes, "Pammy's gonna help me take care of her, an' everything's gonna be real good!" She punctuated the sentence by grabbing Pam's hand and kissing it with a loud 'mwah!'. "She's a peach."

Selina, along with Pamela, reflexively smiled at Harley. Harley's childish excitement could be contagious at times. Of course, that was not a bad thing.

Then Harley pouted, and folded her arms. "Then again, judgin' by this mornin's events, this is gonna be hell, ya know?"

"I bet." Selina agreed, laughing softly. "...You both realize you're kinda two psychopaths who get arrested on a monthly basis, though, right?"

"We're going to be careful." The botanist stated simply and dully. They had money. There was definitely no need for anymore situations like the Gotham Burger debacle, right? Right. And if they did need anything, Pamela could go and do it herself, and hopefully go unnoticed. If not, ah, well, at least Harley would be fine while Pam worked on getting out of Arkham Asylum. "Whatever you say, Pam." Said Selina. "...Congratulations, Harley?" Pam chuckled unnoticeably at how Selina said it like a question.

Harley smiled appreciatively, "Thank ya lots. I'm real excited, even though it's gonna be a long, long time. I don' have a lotta patience." 

Pamela listened idly to Selina and Harley chat as she intertwined her fingers with the latter. For a bunch of bad guys, Pam thought life was going in the right direction for them. Pam thought it strange how normal it felt, even though it was not normal at all. She found herself smiling idly.

It felt close to perfect.


	8. 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look the joker gets an appearance

In all honesty, Harley Quinn had not caused any real damage to Gotham as of late, so sure, maybe Barbara didn't understand why Bruce thought it was so important to catch the woman immediately. Of course, Harley Quinn was dangerous, she knew that, but they had bigger fish to fry; Two-Face and Riddler both had been up to schemes as of late, while Harley Quinn wasn't doing anything at all (well, asides from scheming, probably). Barbara just didn't really see the point in putting so much effort into tracking Harley Quinn until after they had quieted the commotion with those bigger problems. 

Barbara did her job, though. Not that she was having much luck.

She searched the security footage around Gotham for signs of any of the three women; Harley, Poison Ivy, or Catwoman. Bruce had a suspicion that finding even one of the three would lead them to the other two. She looked for reports from officers or civilians who had witnessed them recently, found nothing. All there seemed to be was talk, gossip, which was one hundred percent unreliable.

She couldn't find a single thing, and it was driving her a little crazy. Honestly, to her, it didn't seem like they were doing anything. Nothing. At all. If they had done a single thing, she'd have been able to find something, anything.

She thought to look for the Joker— but last she knew, he was in Arkham Asylum. Though, he'd be out in the blink of an eye, as always. They really should beef up security there. But as long as he was in there now, it wouldn't help her track anybody.

"Bruce, I haven't found anything on Harley, Ivy, or Catwoman." She told the Batman, who merely made a grunting noise in response. Barbara rolled her eyes (he couldn't see her, her back was to him), "Look, maybe you should ease off on them until Two-Face and the Riddler are taken care of?" 

"Those three are trouble together." Bruce stated, "The Sirens being teamed up with each other again means nothing good for Gotham. I want them away from each other as soon as possible."

Alfred, who had walked in as Batman and the former Batgirl were talking, voiced his opinion; "Sir, perhaps Miss Gordon is correct. Focus on the task at hand, then search for the Sirens." 

"I'll get Dent and Nygma in Arkham as quickly as I can." Bruce didn't exactly seem to be taking this into consideration. Barbara refrained from sighing. "Keep looking, Barbara." And then, the Dark Knight disappeared. 

Barbara looked at Alfred, rubbing her temple, "Was he always this stubborn?"

Alfred gave a short chuckle, placing a cup of coffee in front of the Oracle. "Definitely." 

Barbara had to smile. "I remember Tim saying Bruce was obsessive." She commented, taking a grateful, short sip of her coffee, before wincing a little because of the heat. "I guess he was pretty much right."

"Master Wayne just wants to keep everyone safe, no matter how..." Alfred paused, thinking a moment, "...Ridiculous he seems, keep in mind he just wants what's best for Gotham."

Nodding, Barbara went back to typing and searching on the computers, "I know, Alfred. But, in my fairness, I could be helping him deal with Riddler and Two-Face, but instead I'm here looking over the same nothings over and over again."

Alfred didn't really have a response to that, but still said, "He can handle both of them, he's done it before."

"I know, I know," Barbara assured. She didn't want Alfred thinking she didn't have faith in Bruce, because she did believe in him. She trusted him completely, but... "But they'd probably be locked away by now if he let someone help him." She spaced for a brief second, before pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing a little exasperatedly, "This is a dead end, Alfred. There's nothing on any of the women he's looking for. Not. One. Single. Thing." 

"You'll find something, Miss Gordon." The butler reassured her kindly, "After all, you're the best at this; that's why you're the Oracle."

"...Thank you."

-

The Joker smile seemed only to brighten as he watched the black-and-white T.V. in the asylum. 

Harley, Harley, Harley.

"And I thought the little minx was dead!" He cackled to himself, "Tough kid." He looked at one of the guards, who appeared to ignore him, "You know, you would think 'falling' out of a 7-story window would kill a girl!"

The guard remained silent.

"Oh, gee... Paul, m'boy! Why so serious?" The Joker traced his smile with his forefingers, "I don't think I've ever seen you smile! Do I need to give you one?"

Glaring down at the Joker, who sat on the couch, the guard spoke, "I'll have to take you back to your cell if you threaten me."

The Joker gasped in faux shock, "Oh, no! Not there!" He shifted so he was watching the television again, "I'm hurt you think I'm threatening you, it was simply a kind offer from a clown to a man." 

Upon receiving no answer, the Joker's thoughts went back to his harlequin. "Really, Harl..."


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally just gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just pointless gay

"C'mooon, Red," Harley practically whined, trying to pull Pam back under the blankets of their bed, "I'm tired as shit."

Pam looked at Harley incredulously. "Harl, it's noon and you slept for eleven hours, how are you tired?"

Harley thought for a moment. "Because I like ta sleep?"

"Wow, great answer." Pam grumbled, but when Harley drawled out a long 'pleeeeeeaaaaase', she crawled back into the bed and wrapped her arms around Harley's waist. Harley squeezed happily, squeezing Pam tightly. In fact, she held so tightly Pam thought she might snap right in half if her girlfriend didn't calm down.

Harley sighed contentedly, "You know what's funny, Pammy?" Pam gave her a look that said 'go on', "Everybody thinks ya are this cold hearted supervillain, but you're actually just a big dorky sweetheart. And you're soft and cuddly, and you're nice to me." Pam was quiet for a moment, before chuckling at Harley's words. Calling her a 'dorky sweetheart' and 'soft and cuddly'... Pam found that ridiculous. "I don't know about those first two, but I'm nice to you because you deserve it, darling." 

"See that? Pammy, you're a sweetheart. The mighty Poison Ivy is a big ol' softie."

Pam kissed Harley's forehead, "Just for you... I love you, you know that."

"Ya really know how ta make a gal blush." The clown girl put her hand on the back of Pam's head, "Gimme some sugar, baby." 

Pam kissed Harley, on the lips this time, and felt the woman happily tangle her fingers in her red curls. Harley really was such a sweet girl, she made even Pam feel rather bubbly inside.

"Honestly." Pam said as they drew apart and nuzzled together again, "I'm still surprised at how much I like you, I figured I'd be alone with my plants forever." That was true; she'd never considered the thought she'd love anybody again after what happened to her. "I'm glad ya were wrong." Harley said, and Pam laughed at the relief in her voice. "Hey, Pam-a-Lamb... D'ya plants like me?" She asked, "I like them lots even though I can't understand them like ya can understand them."

"Silly question. Of course they like you, Harl... You're practically a ray of sunshine." She told Harley. It was the truth. "I love it and so do my babies," 

"Awww, Pam." 

"Are we ever going to get out of bed?" Pamela questioned, raising her eyebrow slightly. 

Harley scoffed, "Please. Not until we play some more, I'm starvin'."

Pam rolled her eyes, "You're ridiculous."

"A girl's gotta eat her greens, y'know."

"Never say that again." Pam said, deadpanning. She was only half joking.

"Whaaaatever." Harley said, "...I love ya lots, Pamela." 

Pam smiled appreciatively. "Really, though, get up. We need to at some point." Harley pouted as Pam threw the blankets off of both of them and stood. "Couldn't it be later rather than sooner?" Pam shook her head, grabbing Harley's hand and tugging on her gently, "It already is 'later'... Come on. I'll make you breakfast." The clown's eyes lit up at that, and she slid off the bed, following Pam out of their bedroom. "Can I help ya?"

Chuckling lightly, amused by Harley's everlasting enthusiasm, Pam nodded, "Of course, if you want to."

"You know it, Red!" Harley slapped Pam's back in a friendly manner, before practically skipping into the kitchen.


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally  
> Barbara found something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That took forever, barb

The nights had been tiring and boring as of late for the Oracle. Not being able to find a single clue about the whereabouts of any of three people was proving to get on her last nerve. Alfred or Tim accompanied her sometimes for short periods, and that was quite nice, but usually Barbara was alone, with only the bright screens in front of her and her coffee. 

Security cameras, news reports, and GPS were things she had been tracking constantly, but to not much avail. She was growing tired of hearing Jack Ryder and Vicki Vale's voices over the radio.

Barbara was nearing the point of telling Bruce that this was absolutely ridiculous, given he hadn't even put both Riddler and Two-Face in Arkham Asylum, when, finally, she got something.

An alarming sound blurted from on of the many screens. It was just a short, but loud, beeping noise to alert a change. 

Relieved, Barbara looked at the monitor, somewhere in her mind noting it was the one she had set to track the phone of Selina Kyle. A small smile played at her lips, seeing the red dot on the GPS that had only just shown up, "About time," She sighed to herself, before tapping her earpiece in order to alert Bruce of the find. "Bruce," She greeted simply, "Selina's phone showed up on the GPS." 

Bruce's voice responded immediately, "Oracle. Send the data to me."

"Already on it." Barbara sent the location to Bruce, or more appropriately; Batman. "Are you sure this will lead you to Harley?"

"And Ivy." His harsh, stony voice responded. "The Sirens are together again, I'm sure of that, Barbara." 

Barbara had some doubts, because as far as she was aware, he had no evidence at all of that, but she trusted Bruce. "Okay. Are you heading there now?" 

"Robin and I were wrong about the Riddler's location. We're done for now." He told her simply. Robin would probably be heading back to the Batcave. "I'm heading to Selina's location." 

"Be careful, Bruce." And to that, she received no answer. Typical Batman, she thought to herself, smiling.

-

Batman had been finishing up a few thugs who had been camping out in what they had thought would be the Riddler's hideout when he received word from the Oracle. Really, when he heard Barbara say they now had Selina's location, he knew he needed to go there as soon as possible. Once Barbara had sent the data he needed, Selina's location, he wanted to go. "Be careful, Bruce." Was the last thing she said to him. He didn't respond to her, but rather turned his attention to Tim. "Go home." He said firmly, "We're done here." 

Tim looked at Batman funny, "Given your conversation with Barb it sounds more like we've got a lot more to handle tonight."

"I do, you don't." Bruce really didn't want Tim around the Sirens, if his hunch was correct. And usually, his hunches were correct. "Go home, Robin."

Seemingly about to argue, Tim opened his mouth, but then relaxed and shook his head. "Fine, Batman. Good luck with the Sirens." 

Bruce merely grunted in response as Tim zipped across the rooftops until he was out of sight. 

After taking a close look at the area where Selina's phone had been located, Bruce recognized where it was. Strangely, it was an area just outside of Gotham, where a bunch of old neighborhoods that had yet to be torn down yet lay. He supposed it made sense they were hiding there; No one had even mentioned the place in what had to have been years, and certainly nobody went around there. It was as good as a forgotten memory. Nobody would accidentally run into them there. 

-

The small house Bruce found himself at was actually in good condition, asides from the overgrown flowers, bushes, brambles, trees, and vines growing over the house. That definitely pointed to Poison Ivy. And she would know if he was there, were he to touch her 'babies'. Taking a look around, he caught sight of a window that didn't have many vines around it. That would have to do if he wished to keep the element of surprise... And, frankly, he did want to keep that.

He quietly took his batclaw from his utility belt, and aimed it to the window's ledge. Then, he pulled the trigger and the batclaw zipped through the air for a few seconds before reaching its destination and hooking onto the ledge. He, himself, zipped up there and easily grabbed the ledge before he fell. Holding on with one hand, he shoved the batclaw back into his belt and then crawled into the window. It took him only a second to take notice he was in a bathroom. 

In the dark he could barely make out the cloth laying folded on the sink was Harley Quinn's jester outfit. That confirmed his suspicions of the Sirens being together again. Selina's phone, Ivy's plants, Harley's jester costume. This was the right place, indeed.

The door was open, so it was obvious the lights in the rest of the house were off. He moved quietly into the hallway. 

Not a second after Bruce began walking through the hall, a light flipped on and illuminated the entire hallway. Instinctively and swiftly he swung over the rail that separated the hall and the floor below and hung onto the edge of it. Just in time, in fact. The moment he adjusted his grip on the ledge, he saw Poison Ivy walking into view. That was close, but it's not as if he hadn't had close calls before. He'd had had more than his fair share of close calls over the years of being Gotham's Dark Knight.

Bruce watched her carefully, steadily, and made sure not to move even the slightest bit to refrain from making noise. She didn't seem to notice him at all, as she simply went about her business and walked down the hall, carrying what must've been a plate of what must've been food. Bruce couldn't see from this angle. 

She disappeared into a different room, and finally he heard her alluring voice, saying something along the lines of; "Are you still looking for something to watch? You've been looking for an hour." 

Quietly, Bruce pulled himself back over the railing, and headed towards the room. As he neared, he could see the light of a television lighting up a small area around the screen. He pulled his lips together tightly. He could make out the faces of Selina and Harley in the dim light, along with Ivy. 

"Oracle," He said lowly, crouching out of earshot and eyesight of anyone who was in the living room. "I've sighted all three of them."

"Guess you were right about the Sirens. Are you going to take care of them?"

"Yes. I'll tell you when they're through."

Barbara seemed to hesitate, or at least Bruce thought she did. "Contact me if you need me to send Robin, okay?"

"I won't need to." That was their goodbye. 

Creeping his head in front of the doorway, he scanned the room for things that could either be used against him or to his advantage. Luckily, it didn't seem there were any plants in this particular room, but of course, Ivy always had something up her sleeve. If he needed it, there was a medium-sized chandelier hanging above the three women. Other than that, the room was empty save for the T.V. and couch. 

He crept slowly into the room, moving along the shadows slowly. He'd rather be able to take at least one of them out from behind so a direct fight was easier.

Unfortunately for him, just before he reached the couch, the women's conversation halted and went silent for just a second before Harley talked loudly and in Bruce's direction, "It's not nice ta sneak up on people, Bats." 

The light was turned on and chased away the shadows.

Bruce stood up straight as he eyed the three women who all stared at him deathly now. There was no point in hiding now.


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say I have a good reason for procrastinating but in reality I've just been playing the Arkham series nonstop

Harley had barely noticed the figure moving around in the darkness. But, all in all, she did notice, and she'd learned by this point; that usually meant Batman was in the room.

Pamela used one of her vines to stretch across the room and flick the light switch the minute they became aware of the Bat's unwanted, uninvited presence. In Harley's opinion, Pam looked, to put it simply, extremely pissed. She felt almost sorry for the Batman; Pam was not one to mess with when she was pissed off. Selina must've been thinking the same thing, because she looked almost amused. "Been a while," Selina purred towards the Dark Knight.

Harley jumped off of the couch where she'd been sitting with Pam, and was quickly followed by Pam and Selina. 

The Bat stood straight, and spoke, "If you all surrender, you won't get hurt." 

"I don't recall inviting you here, Batman," Harley said sharply, feeling like laughing at the brooding expression Batman always wore, "You know, I don't like uninvited guests... It really kills the party, don't you think, Red?" 

Glaring at Batman with ice in her eyes, Pam gave a sickeningly sweet smile, "Really, Harl. We might need to punish the big bad bat."

"Can do!" Harley exclaimed, "D'ya like magic tricks, Batman...? Here's a card trick for ya." And before the Bat could react, she slipped one of her rigged playing cards from behind her back and threw it towards him. Lucky for him he moved just enough so that instead of piercing his eye it grazed his cheek, causing a thin cut. 

Batman, apparently, had his own tricks up his sleeve, and in return pulled a batarang out and threw it so quickly Harley barely had time to duck the golden object. With that distraction played, Batman rushed forward, his fist ready to punch; he went for Harley, as she was recovering from the close-call batarang.

Instead Batman's was tripped, vines tangling around his ankles and causing him to fall face-first. He caught himself before he made contact with the floor, and reached down to tear he vines away. This seemed to displease Pam; the vines only circled around his body quicker now. Harley laughed at Batman, all tied up and useless, "Nice bat trap, Pam-a-Lamb."

As Bruce struggled, Selina stood in front of him, said, "Sorry, but you did interrupt girl's night," and put her foot in his face. Hard. Batman grunted at the painful impact. The Catwoman crouched down in front of him, a sarcastically pouty expression on her face, "Aw, did you get a booboo?" 

Harley snorted in spite of herself, waving towards Pam, "Kiss it better, Red." 

Batman, of course, knew what a kiss from Posion Ivy meant, and thus struggled harder against her plants that continued to swarm him, restricting him, pulling tighter and tighter by the minute. Pam gave a low chuckle, "Of course, Harley." She lightly pushed Selina out of her way and leaned down to the floor, cupping Batman's bruising face in her cold hands. "Time for a kiss, Batman," she said, and headed for a kiss.

Batman had to react quickly in order to not be poisoned by Pam's deadly kiss, and Harley squeaked as Batman head-butted Pam straight in the forehead. Pam made a sort of hissing noise as she drew back, her fingers going towards her forehead. Pam lost control of her plants at the impact, and the Bat tore free of the limp vines before anyone could react. Then he quickly grabbed the back of Pam's gorgeous red hair and knocked her head roughly against the floor.

Harley only then realized Selina had disappeared. Where the hell could that cat have gone? What a great friend she was.... And... Great, it was just her now. Pam out cold, Selina nowhere to be found.

"Stupid kitty," She muttered, before clapping her hands down at Pamela, "Get up!" She yelled at the unconscious body. And, not waiting for the unconscious Pam, Harley did a flip to the side to avoid Batman's oncoming punch. She prepared a kick of her own towards the enemy, and as she swung he flipped around and grabbed her foot, causing her to fall backward. With a yelp as she fell, Harley's head hit the edge of the T.V. stand, and her vision went blurry. 

"What, ya gonna take us back ta Arkham?" She asked quietly, laughing even through the sharp pain in the back of her head, "Ya know we're just gonna break outta there, what's the point?" 

Batman grabbed her by her shirt collar.

"We didn' even do anything this time. We was just tryin' to live our lives, and ya came and beat us up for no good reason." Harley knew she was right, knew she was taunting the Bat. "What d'ya get out of beating us when we're innocent? Ya do that a lot? Beat up innocent people for kicks?"

She cringed before the punch that knocked her out cold even came.

-

That was the downside of comedy. You're always taking shots from folks who just don't get the joke. And for Harley, that person who didn't get the joke was Batman, and so all of her jokes ended up with her here. In this white, dull, hellhole.

She awoke with her head throbbing and limbs aching (the perks of fighting someone you can't win against), laying on a cot in an Arkham cell (the perks of being a psychopath). Harley didn't even want to move from that spot. When she got beat by Batman, her mood always sank just a little bit. 

"Harley," A voice said, sounding relieved.

Harley at up quickly at the sound. She regretted sitting quickly as soon as she did it and a sharp pain shot her sore head. Blinking the pain back, she turned her head. Her body relaxed, seeing Pam staring at her through the glass that separated their cells. They out them together again, that was enough to calm Harley. "Mornin', Pammy." Harley said softly, smiling at her girlfriend.

Pam returned the smile, "Are you okay?" 

"As good as I'll ever be." Harley assured, "Just a little sore, I've had worse. Are you?" 

A sour laugh was what she got in response, "Better now that you're awake... What happened to Selina?" 

Harley pouted in annoyance at the question. She and forgotten about that. Some friend kitty was. "Who knows. She disappeared outta nowhere when B-man knocked ya out." Pam pursed her lips and tapped her fingers against the glass, "She just left us?" Harley nodded in affirmative, "Basically, yeah."

"Remind me to poison her next we see her." 

"Pam," Harley warned, "As bigga asshole she is, we can't poison her."

"Just a little bit of poison?" Pam said with an innocent smile. Harley giggled, smacking the glass between her and the plant goddess, "No." 

"Shame." Pam said, and Harley wasn't exactly sure if the woman was joking or not. Maybe she was half-joking. 

A thought occurred to Harley, and she shrank back a bit, feeling suddenly nervous about Arkham, even though it was basically her home away from home. "Pam... Mistah J is still in Arkham..." She voiced her concerns to Pam, though she didn't look up at Pam, "What if he tries something?" 

Pam sighed quietly, "There's a good chance he doesn't even know you're here." She tried to assure, "And if he does, and the shitty guards can't control him, I'll keep him away from you, trust me."

"I do trust ya, but..." She trailed. Pamela was strong, she knew that, everyone knew that. But, frankly, the Joker was tricky and a lot more evil than Pam could ever be and he could beat her, easily. He would kill her need be, kill her at the drop of a hat, Harley was sure. And if Pam got killed because of her, she'd lose it. "I'm worried about ya. I don't want to be the reason ya... Get hurt. I never want ta hurt ya..." She wished she could hug Pam right now. She wanted desperately to be with her. Stupid glass, she thought to herself immaturely.

Pam made a tsk-tsk noise, "Oh, darling... Don't worry about that. Look at me." 

Harley did.

"You're safe. I'm safe." Pam stated simply, sounding like she really did believe it. It gave Harley hope. "And we'll be out of this place before we know it."

That would be nice to believe. But, simply put, neither of them would ever be truly safe in this city, no matter where they were, and both of them knew it.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Leland

Blah, blah, blah. That's all Harley heard most of the time when Dr. Leland was talking to her. Honestly, having these sessions by herself would be less boring than the ones with Dr. Leland. She was a psychiatrist after all. Dr. Harleen Quinzel. Dr. Harley Quinn. She imagined Two-Face giving himself a therapy session. He talked to himself, right? The whole split-personality schtick. Harley was forced to laugh at the thought.

"Harleen." Dr. Leland's voice sounded patient but Harley thought Joan was probably as tired of these sessions as she was. "Are you listening to me?"

Harley lifted her hand and gave a thumbs-down. "No offense ta ya, but... No." 

"What were you laughing at?"

"Ol' Two-Face talking to himself." 

Raising an eyebrow, Dr. Leland tapped her black pen on her notepad, "Okay... I asked you why you think your arrest was unjust this time." 

"Um?" Harley scoffed, "We were just hanging out like normal gals and the Bat ruined our fun. Duh... We haven't been committin' any crimes, Joan—"

"Dr. Leland," the psychiatrist corrected.

Giving a 'screw you' kind of look, Harley repeated sarcastically, "Dr. Leland."

Shaking her head ever so slightly, Dr. Leland wrote something down. "So, you say you haven't been committing any crimes as of late, Harleen?" Harley shrugged best she could, "Pam and me. That's what I said, yeah." Jeez, she'd rather be drinking acid than being here. 

"According to the police report they found several thousand dollars worth of jewelry and even some thousands in cash." Dr. Leland reminded her, "All stolen, I assume, Harleen?" 

The clown girl's eyebrows knitted together. "Well, sure, but then we decided that was gonna be the last heist we were gonna do. An' we haven't done nothin' else wrong." 

The pen scratched along the yellow paper. "Well—"

"I was goin' straight, Jo— Dr. Leland. But, nooo," She ranted, her voice rising, "They won't lemme go straight. No one believes in second chances these days, you know?"

Dr. Leland smiled at her. She must've been trying to be reassuring, but Harley took it more as a pity grin. "Work hard the next few months, and maybe you'll be headed in the right direction."

Harley really doubted that. She and Pam would be out of that hell hole well before either of them would have time to be declared 'legally sane', but... Dr. Leland didn't need to know that. So, instead of protesting, Harley gave her best smile and said kindly, "I'll try my best, Dr. Leland."

"Good luck..." Dr. Leland trailed, before putting on a real, genuine smile. Harley was somewhat shocked at the gesture. "You really were an amazing woman, Harleen. Why did you let yourself be manipulated by that man? You're incredibly bright, even though you don't act like it."

Ha. Sure. Like Harley hadn't heard that before. Like she didn't know she was messed up. "What's done is done. Even if I wanted to, I can't change what I did."

"Between you and me, we miss you, you had a career ahead of you, and you were good at it." Dr. Leland told her. "Exceptionally so." 

Harley smiled a little bit, the corners of her lips just barely quirking up. "...Thanks."   
Dr. Leland didn't write about that part of the session in her notes.

"So, Harleen... You're trying to move on from the Joker?" She asked.

Harley nodded, "Yeah, I've been doin' really good, too." 

Dr. Leland gave a gentle smile, "That's good, Harleen. You're self-esteem is improving, that's for sure." 

"Ya can thank Pammy for that, Dr. Leland." Harley said automatically, with a fond smile. 

Dr. Leland raised a brow, "Poison Ivy?"

A nod, again. "Yep-a-roony. Pam picked me up a lot of the times when J hurt me, she cares about me lots and does sweet things for me and she's always sayin' nice things about me, and she's patient with me even if I mess up and make her mad, doesn't hurt me, not even when Bud and Lou knock over her flowers. She's not like Mistah J, she really loves me." Harley didn't exactly mean to spill so much to the psychiatrist, but honestly she couldn't help the chance to gush about her girlfriend. 

"Are you in a romantic relationship with Ms. Isley?" Dr. Leland questioned,meriting something.

"Dr. Isley." Harley corrected, firmly. "She has a Ph.D. And, heh, yeah we are. I love her lots. She's a real romantic, though she'd never admit ta that."  
"Dr. Isley," Dr. Leland took kindly to the request of calling Pamela 'Dr.', "Seems to be helping you, Harleen." 

"She is." Harley confirmed. "A lot."


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka joker sucks 
> 
> I mean I love the guy  
> But he sucks

Feeling drained when she got back to her cell, Harley laid down face first on her cot and hardly even gave the effort to look at Pam. "You alright?" Pam asked, and Harley groaned, "I'm just tired of therapy sessions." She craned her neck to look at Pam thought the separating glass. "Like, if it hasn't helped us by this point, what do they expect? This has been goin' on, what... Over a decade?" 

"Well over a decade, sweetheart." Pam laughed dryly, "Still waiting for the Bat to finally get over his hero image and try and kill us... That won't ever happen though. We're gonna have to deal with psychiatrists for forever." 

"Fun." 

"Let's go, Pamela Isley." A gruff voice came from outside the cell as the door slid open with the slide of a keycard. 

Pamela spared them a brief glance to show her acknowledgement, before turning back to Harley. "I'll see you in a little bit, sweetie."

Harley stuck her tongue out, "Yeah, have fun."

As Pam was taken from her cell to go to the small room where the inmates could play cards or watch T.V., Harley barely noticed something sticking out from underneath her cot. Questioningly, she leaned down to the floor and cautiously grabbed it. She held it up as she regained her sitting position on the cot. For a moment she thought the tulip was one of Pam's flowers that had somehow gotten into her cell instead, but then the little white paper tied to the stem caught her eye. 

Forget about me?

-J

That's what the little slip of paper said. Harley's posture stiffened as she stared at the 'J'. 

Those little notes and flowers from Joked while in the asylum was nothing new. The day she got there as Dr. Harleen Quinzel, she found a note from him, which started the chaos in her life. Again, she found one, while in Arkham, broken and tired after Joker had pushed her out of a window. It wasn't new. She'd always known the Joker was slippery and could get whatever he wanted. But, still, it gave her chills just to think the Joker could evidently get in her cell whenever he pleased.

"Pam." The clown girl said out loud without realizing it. 

Should she tell Pamela? Well, more like, she knew she should, because Pam was her best friend— her girlfriend — and needed to know these things... But the Joker was unpredictable at times, even for Harley who'd thought she knew him all the time they were around each other. Harley didn't know him for the longest time, instead she was blind of his psychotics towards her and projected an image of someone the opposite and romanticized him. He was unpredictable, and he got mad easily and quickly, she knew from experience.

"It's just a piece of paper," Harley told herself, whispering. "He might not even do anything." Just a slip of paper. Nothing more, she told herself. Pam didn't need to know, after all what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her— in this matter, that was literal. If she knew nothing of Joker's business, he had no reason to kill her... No, he wasn't a man of reason; correctly, he would have no reason to target her specifically. 

 

Without thinking on the matter any longer, she tore the note into tiny shreds and discarded them beneath her cot. With a moments hesitation, considering throwing the flower under there as well, she decided against that and placed it on her cot, next to where her head lay when she slept. 

That would have to do.

–

Piece of shit.

That's what the Joker was.

Pamela did enjoy her time out of her cell. Of course she did. Everyone enjoyed to be free of the confinements of the Arkham cells; everyone from Penguin to Riddler to Two-Face to... Every single prisoner in the asylum. So, frankly, when a certain clown who she already hated enough would walk right on in there and interrupt whatever she was doing, it pissed her off to extreme levels.

Obviously, guards didn't exactly approve of that.

So, she found herself being directed back to her cell by two guards. "Too-da-loo, Pammy!" The psychotic clown cawed in her direction, and she craned her head so she could glare at him with a deadly gaze. "You—"

"Let's go, freak." One of the two guards stood in front of her view of the Joker. 

Pam scoffed, "I could kill you with a single touch, you may want to remember that," She smiled sickeningly at him, "Darling."

"Keep it quiet." He told her stiffly. Pam could see that he was quite terrified of her, though. That was enough to content her so. 

Once they reached her cell, the guard flat-out put his hand on her back and pushed her into the captivity and honest, she nearly ripped his arm off. She would've, too, if not for the glass door that had already seperated them. "Men..." She muttered, as she walked to her cot and sat down.

Harley was waiting for her, "Welcome back, Pam-a-Lamb..." She cocked her head to the side ever so slightly, and Pam couldn't help a smile. It was cute, what could she say? "You're back early," 

"I know... They sent me back here because... Some asshole kept interrupting my shows, yet somehow I'm the bad guy... I'm glad I get to see you, though." 

Harley tapped on the glass, "We're all what society calls bad guys, ya know that. Who was it? I'll kick their ass, an' they won't ever see it comin'!"

"It was Riddler." Pam lied. Harley didn't need to know Pam had been around the Joker, even if it was not a serious situation. Harley bought it, though, and made a face, visibly shuddering, "Yuck, that weirdo? He's about as creepy as the Creeper. That Ryder guy, who was bein' a major wacko 'round me, ya know him?"

Pam nodded, Harley had told her about the Creeper incident a few years ago, about a month after the event initially happened. And Edward Nygma really was a creeper, that's for sure. He gave even Pam a feeling that was nearing 'scared'. And not many things are near that end of the spectrum for Pam. 

Something seemed off. Pam was watching Harley carefully, and she seemed off. "Harley," Pam said slowly, and Harley looked at her, eyebrow raised. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

Harley noticeably blinked like she wasn't sure about the question. After a second of her deer-in-headlights expression, she snorted, "Nah, Pammy. I've just been bored outta my mind waiting for ya." 

Lie. Harley was never the best liar, and especially not when she was lying to Pam. Pam might not be able to read humans as well as she could plants, but she did know Harley pretty damn well. She could tell when Harley was straight-up lying. 

"Harley..." Pam said, her voice making it quite clear she was skeptical of the answer she had received.

"I'm fine, really. Your lie detector is broken, Red." Harley waved the matter off as if it didn't happen.

She was still lying, such was obvious to Pam. "You would tell me if something happened, right? Even if you think it's unimportant, I want to know. We've gone over this." Obviously Harley wouldn't tell her if something happened, because she wasn't. But still she asked. "I need to know what's happening to you."

Harley hesitated, "If I really needed ta tell ya something, I would." 

Pam didn't know what that meant. But she was sure worried about it.

"Are you sure?" 

Harley had a dumb expression. "Stop diggin' for stuff that don't exist, it's tiring me out. Night night." She lifted her fingers to her lips and blew Pam a kiss. "Goodnight, Harley..." Pamela said quietly, softly.

She couldn't have been more obvious about wanting to escape the topic. Pam frowned to herself as Harley laid down, out of Pam's view. 

Pam decided she would dig for answers more later. Harley was sure to tell her at some point, right? Shaking it off, she too lied down and shut her eyes, looking for the comfort of sleep.

She dreamt terrible dreams of Harley, and the Joker, and experiences they had had with each other that she had had to pick up Harley from, and she woke up even more tired than she had been when she fell asleep


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Screw you, J.

You're nothing without me, you know that.

-J

You come crawling back every time. Everyone knows that.

-J

Poison Ivy doesn't love you.

-J

You need me.

-J

I created you, H-A-R-L-E-Y Q-U-I-N-N.

-J

Come and find me.

-J

You won't stay away forever.

-J

You're lucky I put up with a mess you, aren't you thankful?

-J

 

HA-HA-HA

-J

Ha-Ha-Harley.

-J

 

You know something funny? You actually seem to think you can escape me, my little harlequin.

-J

The notes signed "J" kept coming. Every single time Harley left her cell and came back to it, she'd find another, another piece of paper and another flower to accompany it. It was driving her even crazier than she already was. And did she tell Pamela? No. Even though it bothered her so, sent her spiraling. Still, she did not tell her girlfriend. She knew she needed to, but she didn't. 

And Pam was starting to notice something was funny, that was obvious. 

Harley denied any feelings of depression, any nightmares, any encounters with a certain someone when Pam would confront her directly. 

But, in all honestly, as much as all the notes disturbed her, the most recent was the one really eating her. 

Im sorry for hurting you, Harley.

-J

She tried to focus on things she'd heard many times, from Pam, from Dr. Leland, even from Batman. That the Joker was never sorry about anything. He didn't care how many times he hurt someone or how many people he hurt. He didn't understand regret. And, every time he'd apologized before he went right on and hurt her again, right?


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hella

The asylum let Pamela have one plant in her cell. Somehow they figured she wouldn't be able to do anything with just one. Weren't they genius?. She was fine with that, as long as she had one of her babies. But, to put it simply, she could sense more than one flower around her. There must've been a dozen others. And as far as Pam knew, there were no potted plants anywhere near her cell. In fact, she could feel they were in... Harley's cell. But why on earth would Harley have flowers? That made no sense to Pam. 

Her train of thought on the matter of flowers in Harley's possession was interrupted, as Harley was practically thrown back into her cell by the same guard that had pushed Pam into hers days before. Ugh, what an asshole.

Harley looked tired as she locked eyes with Pam. Pamela's interest heightened; Harley wasn't even bothering to hide her emotions with her wide smile. "C'mere, darling." Pam said slowly, petting the petals of the flower in her possession gently and soothingly, as if it were keeping her from stressing herself by worrying over Harley's mental health. 

Doing just that, Harley sat crisscrossed on the cot, facing Pam as if they were sitting across from each other at a table. "What's wrong?" Pamela questioned. 

"I think Dr. Leland is on ta," she motioned to her rounding stomach, "this." 

"Because of the physical consequences?" Pam asked, referring to Harley's inflated middle. A part of her felt frustrated this was what Harley told her; of course she was worried about Leland or anybody finding out of Harley's pregnancy, but clearly this was much smaller of a problem compared to whatever had been going on in Harley's head for a while, what she had been avoiding telling Pam. And Pam desperately wanted to know what Harley was keeping from her. 

Harley shrugged, and made a 'so-so' hand motion. "S'pose so, but also because I threw up, like, twice in our session today. She was prying about why I did that and kept glancin' at my tummy. Call me crazy but I think the lady is on ta me... Anyway, I told her my tummy was just funny because of this place's terrible food selections, that's why I threw up. She laughed a little and dropped it, so, I dunno." 

Breathing in slowly, Pam kept herself calm by petting her baby, and closed her eyes, thinking. "We need to get out of here soon, Harl..." Pam thought out loud, "We can... Stay outside of Gotham, if we have to." Pam couldn't help noticing the relief that washed over her girlfriend's eyes at the mention of breaking out of Arkham. 

"Yeah, Pammy." Harley seemed to trip over her own words, she said them so quickly, "Soon, please?" Her voice sounded desperate.

Pam blinked, "Soon as possible, baby..." 

Harley went silent, and Pam worried. "Harley..." She started, slowly, carefully, as if expecting Harley to snap at her. "Will you please tell me what's happening to you?"

"I'm o—"

"Don't," Pam stopped her from finishing the 'I'm okay' that was clearly a lie. "You're not okay and I've been letting you say that too long. Tell me, Harley. I need to know."

The woman almost seemed startled at Pam's interruption. "Pam... I'm okay, really. Drop it, alright?" She chuckled, though it was clearly forced, "Gee, you pry more than even any psychiatrist I've ever met."

"God, Harley, you're not okay!" Pamela snapped, her voice rising to the point of nearly yelling. "You can't keep things from me!" 

Harley ignored her, even lowering herself onto her cot so she was out of Pam's view. "Harley," Pam said the woman's name, her voice leveling itself, though it had a hint of tension and warning. She received no answer. Pamela sighed involuntarily; the conversation was over. 

Although, it was to continue.

Pam didn't sleep, not really, she simply lay on her cot and stared at the dark ceiling of her cell. 

All was silent, until she heard Harley's sniffling. The sniffling turned into a choked sob in an instant, then into several more, and Pam spoke quietly, "Harl?" She didn't want to frighten the woman.

"Pam," the voice said in return. 

"Nightmare?"

"Y-Yeah, Mistah J, he was— was hurtin' me, real bad." There was a brief pause, only a second, before she added, "What else is new, huh, Ivy? It just plays over 'n over in my head." 

Pam shut her eyes tightly, "I know, sweetie... Do you want to talk about it?" Pam could hear Harley moving around on her cot, the springs were squeaky, though she remained laying down. "Pam, ya have no idea how crazy he's been drivin' me lately—and not the good kinda crazy." Her voice was weak sounding, "I've really wanted to hang my sheets from the ceiling n' get away for good, get what I'm saying? It's been sounding real good, lately. Just get free from everythin'.

"Harley," Pam sat straight up, and stared at the glass, "Don't even think about that, I swear to god. Why the hell didn't you tell me you've been feeling like that, honey?"

"I'd be wasting ya time, Red. Ya always have ta put up with me."

"No, you wouldn't!" Pam said quickly and louder than expected, and gingerly lifted her fingers to her mouth, a silent apology for her sudden raise of voice. "I care about you, I need to know what's wrong," Pam said slowly, her voice as steady as she could keep it. "Come here, please?"

Harley finally sat up, and looked at Pam through the glass. "Don't worry ya pretty head... I'd miss ya too much... Uh, Pam?"

Pam pursed her lips, "Yeah?" 

Fidgeting, Harley's blue eyes looked down instead of meeting Pam's. "I guess I'm not a very good liar, ya noticed I've been screwy lately, huh?"

A sad smile, "Something like that, sweetpea." 

"Mistah J--Joker--he's been getting things into my cell. Notes and flowers." 

"How?" Pam asked quickly, loudly. Rarely were both of them out of their cells at the same time, not to mention the security were bound to notice the clown. Harley shook her head, "Never have figured his trick out... 'S how I met him, really, he left a note and flower in my office when I came to Arkham. Has happened a couple other times, too, now this..." 

Realizing, Pam spoke her thoughts aloud, "I guess that explains why I've been sensing flowers in your cell." 

"Yeah... I'm really tired of him hurtin' me, I just want to get away from him, finally, without worrying he's gonna hurt me. That's why I've been feelin' like..." Harley laughed weakly, "I'm scared, Pammy. Can we please go soon?" 

"As soon as possible." Pam restated. "Has he threatened you?"

"Not... Not really." The clown seemed to be thinking, replaying the notes in her head. "Jus' telling me stuff like I need him, 'n I'm lucky he puts up with someone like me, that ya don't really love me, i always come runnin' back ta him." 

A wave of anger washed over Pamela. She took a breath, maintaining her anger. "First of all... You don't need him Harley, and he treats you like shit. Second, I love you so fucking much, okay? You know I couldn't live without you, right?" Harley looked at her a moment, "I think ya'd be okay without me, ya have your plants, and they don't screw up ya life all the time." Pam put her hand against the glass, and Harley did the same, smiling a little at her. "Harley, as shocking as this might be, you're far more important to me than my plants. Maybe I haven't said it enough, but I love you more than anything, okay?" 

Harley's smile was reassuring to Pam, just enough so. The clown leaned forward and pressed her lips to the glass, and Pam smiled slightly, copying Harley. The gesture was just so Harley, Pam thought. They couldn't really touch each other, Pam couldn't really feel the warmth of Harley's lips, yet it was oddly contenting. The moment, however brief, was sweet, and they lay with their heads against the glass together. "Will you promise me you won't keep things like this secret from me? We're in this together; you're stuck with me, wether you like it or not." Pam told Harley with a little chuckle.

"'M sorry for keeping it from you."

Pam didn't respond other than with a brief nod. 

Eventually, Pamela could hear Harley's quiet, steady snoring. "I'm going to kick his ass if he comes near you, you know." She said to the sleeping woman. "I'll kill him. Even if you don't want to be near me if I kill him, that's okay." Obviously, all she received was silence. 

"Night, Harley." Pam said quietly, before shutting her eyes and allowing herself to drift into the comfort of sleep.


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has left comments and kudos, those make my day <3

When Harley awoke, she could instantly tell Pam was done with this shit, to put it lightly. 

"Ya okay, Red?" She questioned, as she rubbed at her tired eyes, "Ya honestly look like you're about to commit murder."

Pam's eyes met her's, and the slightest (devilish) smile crept on the corners of her lips. "Good morning, sweetpea..." She trailed for a moment, and Harley cocked her head like a curious puppy. "Call me cliche, but we're getting out of this hell with good old," to complete her sentence, the botanist pointed to her lips. Harley grinned at the shade of black on Pamela's lips, the woman's special lipstick that had even gained them control over the famous Bruce Wayne one Christmas. "Ooh, fun." Harley said with a laugh, "Ya gonna kill anybody?" 

"Let's try to keep to just "prison break" and not "homicide" this time around, okay?" 

The clown pouted, "Aw, ya ain't no fun, Red. But okay." Harley agreed, because, of course her girlfriend was right; they didn't need more reason for people to look for them. "Where'd ya get that stuffs anyway? Didn't they take it from ya when we got here?"

There was a flash of mischief in Pam's piercing eyes that made Harley want to grab her and kiss her. "My babies know how to help me out." She said, simply. Harley pretty much got the memo, though; she must have had one of her plants sneak it back to her while she was going to her psychiatrist while Harley was sleeping still. "Sneaky." Harley snickered, "Sooo, ya gonna do it, or what?" 

Rubbing her lips together briefly, Pam quirked her eyebrow, "Of course. You know what to do."

"Of course." Harley confirmed, mimicking Pam's deeper voice. Pam rolled her eyes, before laying on the cold, hard floor of her cell and clutching at her sides and her face contorted as if she were in mortal pain. Harley fought back her smile at Pam, before yelling at the top of her lungs, "GUARD! HELP!" 

Three, two...

A middle aged guard was staring at her through the glass of her cell, looking agitated, "What is it, Quinn?" He asked, voice gruff. 

Harley rapidly knocked on the glass that separated her and Pam's cells, motioning the issue was in there. "Poison Ivy just— just collapsed! Ya gotta help her!" Harley practically wailed to the guard, who very clearly rolled his eyes and took out his key card as he glanced around into Pamela's cell, taking in the sight of the woman laying on the floor. "Fine, fine, quiet down, would you?" He snapped at Harley, who nodded and sat back to watch the scene. He moved out of Harley's sight, and next she knew Pam's cell was wide open and he walked in there to check on Pamela. 

The poor idiot knelt next to her and nudged her shoulder (so as to not touch her skin), "Pull it together, Poison—" He was cut off, Pam's hands shooting up to grab the back of his head and pull him down to meet her poisonous lips. He struggled, a sound of protest coming from his throat as her lips met his, but within just a few seconds of being in contact with Pamela's black lips, his tense body relaxed and draped limply over her. She simply pushed the man off of her, and stood, wiping her hands on her shirt as if the man she'd touched was filthy. Swiping the guard's key card, Pam turned her attention to Harley and waved it. Harley golf-clapped, "Nice, nice, Pam. Ya'd think these guys woulda learned by now." 

"Typical men." Her voice was sour, as per usual at the mention of... Well, any man. Hatred of humanity was basically half of the great Poison Ivy's schtick, after all. "Hang on there." And with that, Pam disappeared from Harley's view, but reappeared at the front of her cell in just an instant. Pam lifted the key card to her eyes and squinted, studying which was to swipe the little piece of plastic. Seemingly satisfied, she swiped the key card, unlocking Harley's cell. "Come on." She urged.

Harley didn't need to be told twice. She bolted to her feet and ran to Pam, immediately throwing her arms around the woman's neck tightly. "Been wantin' to hold ya for forever, Pam-a-Lamb." She said to justify the deathly tight hug. Pam laughed in her gorgeous way, wrapping her own arms around Harley's waist. Harley tried to kiss her, but Pam moved her lips away, "Ah-ah." She said, and her eyes flittered down to her own lips. "Oh, yeah." Harley chuckled, "Forgotta bout that." So, instead, Harley settled on kissing Pam's neck rather than her lips. While the stuff wouldn't affect her, she'd rather not mess with it. That lipstick gave her a little buzz, if you will, regardless of the antidote that kept it from really affecting her. 

"Okay, honey," Pam said, drawing back, "As much as I love that, we're a little busy right now." 

Harley shrugged, "S'pose so." Her gaze darted around the empty hall, and she sighed, relieved, when she caught sight of nobody. "Can ya use one of ya plants to get that vent offa the ceiling?" She asked Pam, eyes catching a vent above them. Pam nodded as she glanced at the vent grate, and motioned for one of the plants lining the hall to come into view and wrap itself inside the grate. In one fleeting motion, it pulled it clean off, and set it onto the floor gingerly. "Thank you, sweetie," she cooed to the plant. "After you," Pam then said to Harley, and the plant wrapped itself around Harley's waist and lifted her. Harley giggled as quietly as possible all the while she was lifted up into the vent. It was a bit of a squeeze, with her larger-than-usual middle, and Harley cursed silently. Pam joined her up there not a minute later, then calling her plant to put the grate back in place.

When they were halfway through the ventilation system, they could hear the asylum's deafening alarm echoing through the vents. Harley chuckled, "They're a little late, don't ya think?" The staff of Arkham weren't the brightest. Dr. Arkham severely needed to reevaluate their standards.

"By far, by the time they even start looking for us we'll be off the premises." Was Pam's content confirmation. 

Pam really was a lifesaver, in Harley's opinion. She loved that woman, madly (in the good way). "...Thank you, Pammy." She said, albeit a tad quietly, as she and Pam shuffled through the vents. 

The clown could practically feel Pam's radiant smile from behind her. And, what a beautiful thing it was, when Pamela Isley smiled, truly smiled, not just a trickery to make a man come running at her beck and call. "No need to thank me, baby." As per usual when Harley would give her thanks to the woman, that was her response. Harley felt otherwise to the statement. 

"Aw, don't be silly. I have plenty of reason ta thank ya, lamb..." Harley stopped for a second, just to crane her neck so Pam could see her face as she wiggled her eyebrows like the dork she was, "How about I pay ya back when we get outta here? If ya get my drift." 

Pam laughed, giving Harley a little push from behind her. "Of course I get what you're saying, I've known you long enough." 

"Izzat a yes?" 

"We'll see. Just keep moving." 

"Okaaay," Harley agreed, trying to speed up her pace.


	17. 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harley kills me ok

"Hey, Ivy?" Harley asked from where she was walking next to Pamela. 

Pamela glanced at the clown, "Hm?" 

Harley took hold of Pam's arm and held onto it as she continued, "I was wonderin' where we're going?" Pamela managed to control her smile at Harley's attention as she replied, "Until we can find more... Suitable conditions for the both of us, we're going to stay in one of my greenhouses." The botanist gingerly lifted her free arm and placed it on Harley's stomach, stopping their pace. "Honey, I'm serious right now; no more... Criminal acts, for both of us. For a long while. We're lucky Dr. Leland didn't bring up her suspicions to anybody." She was, of course, concerned for Harley. The last thing she wanted was for them to be in any place where the wretched clown that was the Joker could find out of his ex-girlfriend's pregnancy. 

A light pink raised to Harley's cheeks at Pam's touch, and she made a sort of huffing noise at the notion of going straight, but nodded, "I know, Pam, I know..." She hesitated a moment, "You're not mad at me, are ya? I really didn't mean ta get us sent ta Arkham..." Pam stiffened at the subtle hint of panic deep in the woman's eyes, even though Harley knew Pam wasn't one to physically punish her, or mentally, at that matter.

"It's not your fault we got caught. You know Batman was going to keep searching under every rock until he found us." Her lips pulled tight, "It was a matter of time." 

"Batsy's pretty persistent, ain't he?" 

Understatement. The Batman was obsessive. "Very. Let's go." 

-

The greenhouse— the plants inside were incredibly overgrown, growing in front of the entrance and even out of the open top, stretching to the sky. Harley let out a low whistle at the tangled plants that took over the building, "Damn, Pam."

Pam narrowed her eyes at the woman, "Did you only say that so you could rhyme?" 

"N...Yeah." Harley smiled innocently, before giving her girlfriend a little shove. "Go! Ya plants here probably been missin' ya, sweetie." Pam stumbled at the push, but regained herself and rolled her eyes at Harley, though she smiled, "I'm sure," she practically purred, "I certainly missed my babies... Haven't been here in years, Harl."

Once at the entrance to the greenhouse, Pam reached out and pet the green that grew over the door, keeping anyone from entering. Harley watched as she whispered something to it, her voice incredibly quiet and incredibly sweet, and the plants slithered to the sides of the greenhouse, creating an entrance. Harley followed Pam in quite eagerly; In honesty, Harley absolutely adored watching Pam care for her plants. The woman was incredibly gentle and caring, and it made Harley's heart melt. 

Pamela knelt down to a group of lilies, and ran her fingertips over the petals softly, "I missed you all," she said to them, "Look how much you've all grown, you're absolutely beautiful..." 

Harley kept herself from giggling. Pam was such a mom, really. 

After a moment, she crept behind Pamela and slid her arms around her waist, pressing her face into Pam's neck. "You're cute, Red," She told the botanist as she did this. "Why's that?" Pam questioned, lifting her hand away from her flowers and to Harley's hands. She held them in her own quite tightly. "D'ya even hear yaself when your mouth opens?" Harley laughed into Pam's red hair, "You're the sweetest person alive when ya wanna be, like, ya know how ta make a gal swoon." 

Scoffing, Pam twisted free of Harley's grip and turned so she was facing the clown. "I'm Poison Ivy, darling; I think you're the only one that sees me that way." To Gotham she was viewed as a criminal, a murderer, a psychopath, a... The list goes on.

"Mm, well," Harley said, "Everyone else ain't as lucky as me, they ain't get ta see this side of ya... Now, about payin' ya back," 

Pam raised an eyebrow, lip quirking slightly, "You were serious?" 

"Duh." Harley confirmed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically two-face and penguin and joker for like two minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cracking up because of some thug in Arkham Knight
> 
> "Says the guy who doesn't understand fractions"
> 
> "It's not about fractions it's about sounding cool!"
> 
> "I'm just sayin, he doesn't have two faces. He has one face split into two halves."

Joker found it quite ridiculous, that Harley Quinn had still not come crawling back to him. In fact, she'd gone and broke out of Arkham with Poison Ivy, and didn't seem to even think about trying to go back to him! "Makes no sense," He grumbled out loud, "You know, Harvey, I'll bet our friend Ivy has been doing that hypnosis nonsense on Harley. Plant toxins, or whatever she does." Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent seemed rather disinterested in the topic of conversation, though responded, twisting his coin around between his fingers, "I don't see why you sit here and complain about the bitch when you could go find her, take care of Ivy while you're at it." 

Smacking his playing cards on the table, Joker leaned forward, "You, my friend, would leave such up to the flip of a coin. Frankly, I have more taste than that." He chose to ignore Harvey's growl. "Showing up out of no where just to grab her and go would be pointless. I do think I should have some fun, toying with her mind... It's just a matter of time before she cracks, Harv... I put things in her cell while she was here, and oh," he laughed, "She was nearly about to lose her mind! Well, more than she already has." 

"If you're so set on that," Harvey said in his rough voice, "Can you shut up about the girl? If you don't, I think your fate is up to," He held up his coin, "chance. You're getting on my nerves."

The Clown Prince of Crime cackled like a hyena, "So serious all the time, aren't you?"

"Trust me, clown, every person in this place would pay to see the smile get wiped off your face." Harvey told him, "You've got probably a million dollars on your head, when you add everything up." 

Joker only smiled wider at him. Good luck to any poor sap who tried to work their way into his games; he almost pitied the soul. Almost. Okay, no, not at all. 

Penguin's accent came from a few feet away, agreeing to Harvey's statement; "I guarantee, you've got plenty'a bounty on your head. Doubt anybody's willing to risk it; there ain't any bloody assassins crazy enough to try and screw with ya, mate." Ignoring Joker's delighted laugh, Oswald continued, reaching up and scratching at the stubble around his chin, "If the case was they'd get shot if they screwed up, maybe they would. But no one wants ta deal with your twisted mind games." 

"Delightful," Joker drawled, shaking his head as he shuffled his playing cards carelessly, "Anywho, how about we stop talking about my damn long-awaited death and play a round, boys?"


	19. 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded three chapters because they were all super short okay

As Pamela lifted a forest green hose from the ground, she glanced at Harley from the corner of her eye. She could tell Harley had that look on her face-a look that gave away she was thinking quite hard about something-and her head was slightly tilted to the side as she gazed back at Pam. "What is it?" Pam asked simply, turning the knob that controlled the hose until a gentle stream of water was running from it, and she used it to hose off her hands. Harley blinked, before tapping her fingers on the ground. "Well, I was thinkin', and you know, it ain't gonna be very long until we gotta deal with the kid." 

Scraping the dirt from under her fingernails, Pam nodded, "I'm aware, what's your point?"

"What're ya gonna do about your poison?" 

That was a good question. The two girlfriends hadn't discussed the matter of Pamela's poison, and they were only a few months away from their expected estimate of when Harley's child would be born. "Unlike when I first met you, we're not in toxic acres," Pam smiled at Harley's giggle at the good memories, "So the air is fine. It—"

"She." Harley corrected, matter-of-factly.

Pam rolled her eyes. "She," she agreed to Harley's correction. There was, of course, a chance her child wouldn't be a female, but to hell with it. Pam may as well go along with Harley, "Won't be able to handle my antidote at such a fragile state. But, to be frank, she won't need that as long as she doesn't touch my lips or my skin. So, until she's old enough and strong enough to receive the antidote, we just have to make sure she doesn't have direct contact with my skin." 

There was a brief pout from the girl. "What, so ya can't touch the kid? That sucks, Red."

"Do you want me to poison your child? Anyway, gloves and long-sleeved shirts do exist, darling. As long as my skin in covered, she's fine." The plant goddess informed, shutting off the hose water and waving her hands to air dry them. The air felt icy against her wet skin, sending a slight shiver through her body, but Pam shook the feeling of cold off and focused on the warmth from the sun (and Harley's absolutely radiant smile). 

"That's real good, Pammy," Harley seemed very, very happy that Pam would be able to be around the child. "I was gonna lose my shit if ya couldn't. Like, lose. My. Shit." Pam laughed. It was unrefined, more of a snort than a real laugh. Quickly, she lifted her hand, ghosting her fingertips over her lips in surprise that she made that sound. A silent apology. 

Harley had to refrain from laughing at the sound of the refined Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley snorting.

Rolling her eyes, Pam playfully hit Harley's shoulder as she watched the woman shake as she tried to hold in her laughter. Harley blinked innocently at her girlfriend, her expression simply reading 'what'd I do?'. The woman was a dork; that was a fact. Shaking her head, Pam moved on, and spoke, "Are you hungry?" 

Harley nearly groaned, "I'm hungry all the time. Like, even more 'all the time' than usual." A spark of hope flashed in her eyes for a moment, "Can we go out and get somethin' ta eat tonight? No offense to ya but havin' a diet of basically just strawberries is killin' me." 

A frown drew itself on Pam's lips. "I doubt that's a good idea. We're still on Gotham's most wanted list." She muttered her next line, "That never changes." 

"The perks of bein' a criminal." Harley muttered back, stretching the bottoms of her eyelids down with her forefingers


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selina is trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I want in the world is for Selina and Bruce to get their garbage together and marry each other tbh

Perhaps she should feel guilty. That is, guilty for ditching Harley and Pam the second the batman showed up, getting them sent back to Arkham. Especially after finding out the prior was pregnant, and both clearly wanted to keep that a secret. But, no. Selina didn't feel guilty for her actions, rather she felt quite annoyed at Bruce for having tracked her phone (oh, not to mention Harley was the one who switched her phone on. This dilemma was the clown's fault, not hers). Dressed as Selina Kyle, not Catwoman, she walked stiffly up the steps to Wayne Manor's front door. Upon reaching the humongous entrance, she lifted her hand and knocked briefly, pursing her lips in annoyance. 

Alfred opened them not a minute later. "Miss Kyle," he said, recognizing her even with her sunhat casting most of her face in a dark shadow. "Pleasure to see you. I suppose you're here to see Master Wayne?" 

Selina nodded her head once. "Take me to him, if you will." Alfred must've been able to see the irritation in her eyes as he invited her in, and shut the door behind both of them, as he raised an eyebrow. However, he did not ask questions (a lovers quarrel between Bruce and Selina was not his business). He locked the door, before nodding to Selina. "Of course, this way." He paused, "And do try to not pocket anything while you're here, Ms. Kyle." 

He received a laugh from the woman. "Me? Oh, I would never." She feigned innocence, smiling at the butler, who offered a smile in return, "I suppose we'd never notice if you did, would we?" He said, referring to the fact the mansion was filled with hundreds of items and most were never even given a second glance. Selina offered a low chuckle, "I doubt you would." With that finishing the conversation, Alfred motioned for her to follow him. She along with the butler began their stroll through one of the many lengthy hallways.

The hall was lined with mahogany carpeting and walls, and there were clearly valuable treasures hanging from the latter.

She kept true to Alfred and didn't slip anything into her pockets despite the fact her fingers were itching to do so. What could she say, she had a soft spot for the old man. 

After what felt to Selina like a very long time, Alfred stopped his stride, and nodded to a door. "Master Bruce was in there, last I checked," The butler informed her, "Do knock before inviting yourself in."

Scoffing, Selina rolled her eyes, "Please, Alfred, you don't have to tell me that. I'd rather not know what that guy does in his free time."

The crinkles under Alfred's eyes gave away his small grin, "Certainly, Miss Kyle. Good day." 

"To you as well." 

Alfred walked past Catwoman and receded down the never ending hallway.

A sigh. She knocked loudly on the door, and waited. 

"Come in." Bruce's gruff voice, muffled by the door between them, entered her ears and she shrugged to herself, turning the handle and pushing the heavy door open. Bruce, who was sitting on his large bed wearing his pajamas (simply a pair of flannel pants) with a handful of newspapers, barely gave her even a glance. The man did not seem surprised to find Selina Kyle strolling into his bedroom. "Can I help you, Selina?" 

"It would be nice," Selina started, crossing her arms over her chest, "If you could refrain from tracking down my phone. Didn't anyone ever tell you stalking is not a good way to get a girlfriend?"

"It was necessary." 

Damn. Selina was fully used to Bruce's annoyingly brief and to-the-point personality, but it made her want to claw his eyes out. He must've sensed this, because he kept going, "If you didn't associate with criminals I would have no reason to." 

"I'm a criminal, Bruce." Selina said matter-of-factly, "Or did you forget?" 

"All the more reason to find you, then, don't you think?"Bruce, ignoring Selina's glare, set his papers to the side, finally, and turned his attention to the woman who walked the line between criminal and anti-hero. "Did you come all this way just to tell me not to track your phone?"

This man was truly irritating. "Yes. Keep to yourself, Brucey."

"Technically, Oracle was the one who located you." 

"And who gave her the order, hm?"

Bruce smiled at her, defeated, "Well, Selina... Don't get yourself into these situations. If you would go straight..." He trailed for a moment, before raising an eyebrow, "Are we done here?" 

He was annoying as hell. Unbearable.

Selina kind of enjoyed it. 

"Far from it."

Bruce rolled his eyes, showing he understood what she was implying. 

—  
The room was dark. The lights were off, and it was black outside as well. Selina couldn't see the stars from the window, even though there was a clear view of the sky. Stars were blocked by the air's thick pollution. That was the downside of cities, she thought. It was quiet, too, at Wayne Manor; just far enough from the craze of the city so that it was nearly silent. Selina could constantly hear the people and vehicles of Gotham at her apartment. It was a wonder she ever slept. 

Bruce lay next to her, one arm under her head and the other laying on his chest. He was snoring quietly, Selina could tell. The fact he wasn't taking the 'night shift' surprised her, but he had briefly muttered to her that Robin and Oracle both insisted he take a damn break for once and they would alert him were anything serious to happen. He begrudgingly followed the order. Selina guessed he really was tired. 

She found herself thinking about Harley and Pamela. At the thought of them having a kid, Selina almost laughed out loud. The infamous Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, raising a kid? That must be a joke. An obsessive, broken psychiatrist-turned-clown and a stone cold, poisonous lady who talks to goddamn plants. With a kid. That would be worse than Selina being a mother. 

Her eyes flickered to Bruce's sleeping figure.

Once or twice the guy had offered to let her live at the mansion. Once or twice he'd said some things that definitely screamed 'commitment'. 

And Selina Kyle did not do commitment. 

When Bruce awoke, Selina was gone, and in her place was a note scrawled on a scrap of paper. He read it once his eyes adjusted.

Sorry, rich boy. 

He also took notice to the missing gold rings that had been set on the brown dresser a few nights before. Smiling slightly to himself, he lied back down. That's Selina Kyle for you. 

—

The upside to being on Bruce Wayne's good side was that she got to be in Wayne Manor rather than in her drafty old apartment. The place was worn, wallpaper nearly peeling straight off the walls, a dim light that flickered ever so slightly, in desperate need of a replacement, a window that had a broken latch and wouldn't shut all the way, floors that creaked at the slightest movement and could make someone go insane. Meanwhile, Wayne Manor was ginormous, looked brand new all the time, had proper heating, and quiet floors that were shiny enough to see your own reflection in, clear as day. 

Selina held her jacket around her tighter, trying to shield herself from the icy nighttime air that flooded her apartment through the broken window. Something she'd learned from her nights out is that it's a lot easier to find warmth in the night's frost when she was escaping from criminals or Batman or cartwheeling off of balconies rather than just sitting on her ratted couch. Unfortunately her leather jacket didn't provide much warmth, and she scooped up her cat and held the little creature to her body. Her kitten was always warm, comforting to her.

Quite like Bruce.

"Ugh," She said, out loud to the space of her home, "Get out of my mind, playboy." 

She fingered the rings she'd stolen from Bruce's bedroom, thinking about the dough she could get from such things. Anything to keep her mind off of that crime-fighting billionaire.


	21. 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was literally screaming over Pam and Harley two hours ago and I can't hear out of my left ear now  
> Still can't two hours later  
> Help  
> Harley and Pam broke my eardrum

Pamela felt pretty bad for Harley. To put it lightly, that is. The woman felt like absolute shit all the time, was tired all the time, and seemed to be straight up starving every second of the day. It was draining on Pam, too, of course, but it had to have been worse for Harley. She told her girlfriend constantly it would be worth all the hell she's feeling having that thing--Harley's baby, Pam had to correct herself often that while it wasn't in the world it was very much alive— in the long run. But, every time, Harley would either cry or snap at Pam and the plant goddess had learned quickly to not get upset with Harley over her mood snapping from one thing to another just like that. 

Harley would get upset at literally everything. Pam found her overly upset over anything from waking up earlier than usual to not being able to see her own feet over her stomach. Little things they were, but Harley's unsteady emotions said otherwise.

About a week after they'd found themselves at Pam's greenhouse, Pam busted open the lock on an old storm cellar just outside of it, cleaned it up as best as she could, and made as good of a bedroom for herself and Harley as possible. She found Harley spent a lot of time down there, not feeling like getting up at all or taking naps, or doodling little hyenas and things she found funny on scraps of paper, so she usually kept to the greenhouse and took care of her babies to allow Harley some space and quiet. It did give her time to experiment with plant toxins and overall nerd out, so it was fine.

Today was a rather good day, Pam thought, nature wise. 

The sky seemed to be clearer than usual, barely free of the dark, clinging pollution that usual hung there, and it was warm outside. Not hot, but warm, perfectly so in Pam's opinion. And perhaps it was just her, but the green of the plants that twisted around the greenhouse seemed more vibrant and alive.

Harley was in the cellar, saying she was feeling a little better recently, but thought she'd sleep some more as she was still very tired. Pamela had nodded, smiling in understanding, and shut the hatch of the cellar behind her. Now, she lay quite contentedly in the grass, stretching her limbs. She quite enjoyed the feeling of the cool grass blades tickling her back and shoulders, and the bright sun's rays soaking into her skin. Resting in the sun was exactly what Pam needed some days, when stress was eating her brain away. 

After a few moments, she slowly stood up and turned to her green house. As she walked she reached her hands behind her to unstick the thin material of her sun dress from her back, which clung from the dew that stuck to the grass. Easily, Pamela pulled open the door the the greenhouse and entered, running her hand along a vine that stretched across the way, "Hello, sweeties," She greeted them softly. 

At the very back of the greenhouse she had a lab. It was small and somewhat cramped and dirty, but it did do just fine and still had plenty of equipment from when she had initially been staying here years ago. Brushing gray dust off of the tabletop with the back of her hand, Pam sat down and fixed her glasses upon the bridge of her nose with her opposite hand. 

Unfortunately for Pam, her plans to work on some new botanical experiments were interrupted not five minutes later. 

Focused on her writing, invested in it deeply, Pam jumped at the sound of Harley yelling inside the greenhouse, causing her hand to jerk and drag the pen, making a thick line across the paper and creating a mark and scratch on the table, and hit her head on the lamp she had sitting in front of her. "Shit!" She cursed, loudly, the pen falling from her fingers and to the floor with a clatter as she raised her fingertips to the top of her head. "God fucking damn it, Harley." Her muttering was quiet as she cursed just about every swear word she knew in response to the throbbing on her head.

Harley ran (to be more accurate; aggressively waddled. The woman looked like the Penguin at this point.) into Pam's tiny lab, "Hey, Iv—" Her gigantic lopsided grin fell into a pout, eyebrows furrowing, "You look like literal shit, babe." 

Pam resisted the urge to make the woman eat a grenade. "That's your fault, not mine." She could feel a bump beginning to form on her head and she sighed. "You surprised me. I hit my head on the lamp." Pam supposed she should just be glad she had hit the metal shade of the lamp and not the bulb. 

"Oh. Well." An innocent smile played on the clown's red lips. "Real sorry. But," Her grin came back from the dead, and she grabbed Pam's shoulder and shook her. That made Pam's headache worse. "Pammmmm!" 

"What?" Pamela took a second to take Harley's hand and remove it from her shoulder, a silent sign that Harley obviously understood and shrugged apologetically. "I felt her, Pammy!" Harley made wild gestures to her large middle with her pointer finger. 

This caught Pam's attention. "You felt the baby kick?"

"Yeah! Yeah. Pammyyyyyyyy!" Harley started shaking Pam again, and Pam gave up trying to stop her. After a moment Harley stopped shaking her (thank god) and instead took hold of the plant goddess' hand and promptly placed it on her stomach, holding it there excitedly. Pam thought she could feel Harley's hand shaking slightly; she didn't understand how that woman could get so easily excited, but then again, that was something she quite loved about Harley despite how often it annoyed her. 

After a couple of minutes, Pam did feel it, her hand placed on Harley. It was brief, but it was there. Unable to help herself Pam smiled a bit. She blamed Harley; the woman was making her soft (though she wasn't sure that was such a bad thing). 

Pam stood, sliding her hand from Harley's and cupping her cheeks as she moved their lips together quietly. Harley smiled into the kiss, and eventually they were forced to break apart because of Harley's giggling. Pam raised an amused eyebrow, and Harley defended with, "No matter how many times ya do that it still gives me butterflies, Dandelioness." 

"Me too, H—" Stopping mid-sentence as she saw Harley's face scrunch up a little, Pam laughed, "I swear, Harl, if you're going to cry right now..."

Sniffing, Harley waved her hand and smiled though there were indeed trails of the salty liquid running down her cheeks now, "Shaddup, I can't help it. I'm sappy." Having noticed her tree pun, Harley wiggled her eyebrows at Pam, who closed her eyes and punched the bridge of her nose. "Honey." The botanist groaned, "Why." 

"Puns are necessary." Harley insisted. 

"Whatever you say." Pam chuckled lowly, rubbing her hands gently in small circles on Harley's middle. "...I love you, Harl."

Harley beamed even brighter, "Love you more!" 

"Nonsense." And before Harley could argue, Pam silenced her with another kiss.

Huffing, though her obvious smile gave her content away, Harley smacked Pam playfully on the shoulder. "Oh, come on, Red."

Though, honestly such was the truth, how Pam saw it. She hesitated a moment. Really, often times she did feel Harley didn't love her nearly as much back. Frankly, their past was a long cycle of Pam being second; she wasn't Harley's first choice, and when that number one guy in her book called for her she'd leave Pam. 

Harley didn't need Pam's shit on her plate, too, though, the botanist decided. "Come on, peanut." She said, standing and taking Harley's hand as she led her out of the quaint lab and into the greenhouse, headed towards the cellar and their makeshift bedroom.

—

The cellar was pretty damn dark at night. That's what Harley least liked about it. She would leave the lantern on all night if she could, but Pam found doing that ridiculous. This was why it bugged Harley when Pam would stay up in her lab all night, as she'd been doing again since they'd gotten here; she was left alone, in the dark, and yeah, that kind of sucked even if she was a grown woman who kicked ass and been through way worse shit than the dark. 

She was quite glad Pam had decided to actually sleep tonight. Despite the darkness that wouldn't allow her to see, she could feel Pam next to her, and that in itself was comforting enough for Harley. 

Pamela was asleep, that she knew, but she wasn't; she stared at the pitch black nothingness, listening to Harleen. 

'Are you even paying attention to Poison Ivy, Harley?'

"The hell're ya talking 'bout?" Harley whispered to the dark room. "Have ya been paying attention to anything that happens around here? You're blind, Harleen." 

'Her feelings, Harley. You've been quite awful to her in the years you've known each other, you know.'

"Harleen." Harley was getting quite irritated at the usually-more-helpful Harleen. "What in the name of Gotham are ya babbling about?" 

'You're a psychiatrist, Harley!'

"Was. Now I'm this." She pointed at herself. "A certified nutso wanted in twelve states." 

'The woman loves you—"

"Yeah, no shit. You're doin' a real great job here, Dr. Quinzel."

'You have gone back to that psychotic abuser and left her, someone who really cares for you, more times than I can count, yet she still treats you like a goddess every time you come running back to her, just to leave her again; have you not even considered how that's affected her, Harley?!'

Harley accidentally raised her voice, "Ah, shut up, you stupid—!"

"Harley?"

"SHUT UP, HARLEEN—" She froze, the voice registering in her mind, before realizing it was Pamela, sounding tired and confused. "Oh. Sorry, Red."

"What happened...?" 

Placing her hands on Pam's shoulders, Harley pressed a chaste kiss to Pam's forehead, "Don't worry about it, go back ta sleep, sweetie." Pam grumbled, but Harley wrapped her arms around her and her body relaxed, drifting off to sleep again. Harley sighed, squeezing Pam tightly to her.

She had a lot of making up to do.


	22. 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been gone for two weeks and I did nothing productive

Not being able to commit any crimes was boring. Not fun. Criminally so. Harley would, at this point, pay money to be simply allowed to steal... Even though that made no sense. She'd like to do at least one thing. Just to get her blood pumping. Because, frankly, as much as she loved spending time with Pam, the only thing she loved more than spending time with Pam was committing crimes while spending time with Pam. Who says two women can't bond while being gunned down by cops and a guy dressed as a bat? 

Also, Harley may or may not just have been trying to distract herself and run from her Pam issues.

"Pam. Pam-a-lamb." Harley said, in a weird sing-song way that actually sounded more like something dying because of how off-key it was. Pamela was making her die of boredom, though, so it suited the feeling. "Im dying." 

Pamela looked like she wanted to smash her face against the tabletop. "Why?" She asked, her voice rather annoyed. "And you're reason better not be 'I'm bored', again, or I am going to break this table."

Squinting, Harley thought for a moment. Then, "Well, then, we'd better start saving up for a new table. Because I am B-O-R-E-D. You've had your face shoved in those newspapers for like three hours." That was true. All the botanist had been doing since Harley woke up was reading newspapers, and she had been up hours before Harley... So god knows how long she'd been at it. 

"I am looking for a place for us to live." Pam stated simply, tapping her fingertips on the wooden surface of the table to the tune of the Star Wars opening. Harley had made her binge watch all of the movies at one point, and Pam claimed she didn't enjoy it one bit, but... Pam was a giant nerd. Fact, that was, and Harley knew it. "This is how I found our last place."

"Can ya stop for a while? And... Can we go inta town?" 

This made Pam finally turn to look at her. "How well does that usually turn out?" 

"You're no fun, Red." Pamela didn't answer to this, instead looking back down at the newspaper she had in hand. Harley pouted to herself. Yeah... No. She was going to get Pam to stop being so goddamn boring one way or another. So, her Plan B was put into motion. She slid her wheelie-computer chair behind Pam, keeping herself from saying 'wheee' as she did so (sliding around in computer chairs is incredibly fun no matter how old you are, admit it). Her arms slid around the back of Pam's chair and Pam as best as they could with Harley's awkward positioning (her stomach put quite a bit of space between her and Pam, honestly). "Ya sure ya don't wanna play with me?"

"I'm busy." Was Pamela's response, though Harley had known Pam long enough and could tell Pam had just slightly relaxed into her touch. "Yeah, Ivy?" Harley asked, moving one hand to push Pam's gorgeous red curls over her shoulder to gain access to the other side of her neck. There she placed her lips, setting there a few kisses before speaking again, "I think ya deserve a break. Ya always work so hard..." She sucked on a spot of Pam's neck until there was a mark left behind. Teeth grazing over the new hickey on Pam's pale skin, her hands slid under the botanist's shirt. "Don't ya think?" The question was asked against Pam's neck, Harley's higher voice muffled slightly. 

In defeat (or to shut Harley up, the world may never know) Pam twisted her torso around as best as she could, cupping the sides of her girlfriend's neck, her thumbs on her jawline. She pushed a kiss against Harley's lips quickly and roughly, knocking their teeth together, but neither minded that very much and neither even paid it any attention. Harley gladly returned the kiss, feeling successful, and was even more content when Pamela took her bottom lip between her teeth; the bite was not rough enough as to hurt, but enough so that Harley wanted more. A pleased little moan escaped her lips at the contact, and just as it did, the kiss stopped. Pam turned back to her work like nothing had happened. "Hey!" Harley half-yelled, "Buddy, ya can't just leave a gal hangin'! I get we're bad guys but there's gotta be some rules. Some things cross a line."

Upon receiving no response, Harley continued. "Girlfriend. Ya can't get me all hyped then not shove your tongue down my throat. Like... Really...... Ivy!" Wow, this woman was being a piece of shit at the moment. "Dude, come on," Harley shook Pam's shoulders. "I will beg if I have to." And that was the truth. She wasn't above begging.

Harley, in defeat, leaned back into her chair's backrest. She fidgeted with her hands as she looked at Pamela. Her rather... Terrible conversation with Harleen had been eating at her brain, and Harley would be lying if she said she wasn't glad Pamela had been busy lately. If Pam was busy, Harley had an excuse not to bring it up. 'It' being the probably very much needed conversation about Pamela's feelings, because to be quite truthful, Harley couldn't remember the last time Pam had discussed her emotions. And maybe it was the psychiatrist in her talking, but Harley was pretty sure there was a lot going around a mentally ill plant-human hybrid's mind. The botanist had done so much for Harley and had listened to her so much and cared for her, and Harley loved her and loved that she was there and cared about her. She really didn't want Pamela to feel negatively because of her. 

Harley chewed her lip. "Red— Pamela..." Her voice was quieter, cautious, as if she were walking into deadly territory. The carefulness in her tone drew Pam's attention, because this time, Pam set her things down and turned to face Harley, a look that was equally careful adorning her features. "Is everything okay, pumpkin?..." A wave of color rushed to her green-tinted cheeks and she quickly said, "I wasn't ignoring you to— shit— I was just teasing you, Harl— I didn't mean—"

"It's not that!" Harley exclaimed, waving her hands, to assure Pamela she'd done nothing wrong. "I got that, baby. You're a real catch, by the way." Pam relaxed again, and Harley went for it. "Look, uh... I'm worried about ya."

At this Pam looked surprised. She gave a short laugh, "You're worried about me? You're the one who's having a child and all of that."

"And you're the one who is being dragged into this mess. You're the one who's always picking up the pieces of my life. You're the one who gets... Left when I go running back to him." Harley retorted, crossing her arms tightly against her chest, to keep herself calm. She was only mentioning him, she was fine. His name hadn't even been said, for God's sake. She was fine. "You love me even though you know I've always gone back to him."

Pam took the words in, sitting silently, watching Harley's features, her barely noticeable motions. 

"And— And don't even try to tell me you're okay or whatever, because I know ya ain't, and I know I haven't been good to ya and I hate myself a lot for it but I really want ya to talk to me when you feel bad because you're always there for me and I care about ya so much and I want to help ya and kiss ya and make ya feel better when you're feelin' down because of me or your life or the world or you're just having a bad day or whatever and I love ya a lot and I'm so, so sorry because I never wanted to hurt ya at all but apparently that's all I've been doin' for all the time I've known ya and I'm a blind idiot." Harley was practically out of breath by the time she finished rambling.

"Are you done?" Pamela asked gently, once she'd comprehended Harley's words that had been rushed and thrown together into such a jumbling mess. Harley shrugged helplessly, "That's the basics."

Taking a deep breath, Pamela sat up straighter, as if uncomfortable and trying to put on a professional attitude. "Harley." She addressed the woman, evidently thinking of what to say in response to the spiel. "I," Harley raised an eyebrow at Pam. "I... Won't lie. Of course it hurts when you've left me for HIM, Harl. Because I love you, I don't want you to be hurt by him, and..." She trailed, her discomfort now clear. 

Harley urged her, "Keep talking. Don't sugarcoat it, Red, I wanna know everything."

"It does make me feel like absolute shit when you do. Really shitty. Not... Jealous, particularly. I just... Beat myself up over things like 'what the hell is wrong with me to make her want to go back to him—'... That's pretty selfish, though, I know. I shouldn't be worried about how you feel about me when you're running straight into his abusive arms. My hurt feelings don't matter then; you're safety is what matters, okay? It doesn't matter how it makes me feel, my reasons are rather selfish and you're who matters when it comes to him. You go through so much, the last thing you need is my shit on your plate, too, got that?" 

"Pamela, ya do matter, 'kay? Damn, we both got our issues, and it ain't a competition; mine don't make yours any less important and vice versa. And, baby, there's nothing wrong with you, I'm just a mess. You're flippin' perfection." Harley was surprised Pam thought she was selfish, of all things, for having emotions. Like, that was bullshit. "And believe me; You have the right to be upset, and angry, and... Everything, at me. Really, ya do, after all you've done for me and I've done nothin' for ya. I've fucked with your life a lot. I don't deserve ya ta still care about me after all these years, and hell, girlfriend, you're a flippin' soldier for dealing with me this long, especially given how draining it is on ya. So, yeah, ya have the right to be pissed at me and all of that stuff. So you can like, scream at me if ya wanna." 

Silent, for a moment, Pam shook her head. "Sweetpea, you know perfectly well I'm happy with you. I know it's not your fault that man hurt you so much. And it is definitely not your fault I have these stupid human emotions; I'm gonna have them no matter what, you just happen to have a way of making me feel them... That's not a bad thing in the long run, it's good to know you keep me from becoming an emotionless robot." Pamela assured. Harley blinked in surprise, not entirely at the words, but because Pamela was actually crying. She had thin trails of tears going down her cheeks, staining them as they slowly dried. Pamela seemed to have noticed the tears as well, because her pretty eyes went wide, and she quickly wiped the tears away as if they never were there as she talked, "Listen, thank you very much. For saying you're sorry, and for everything you said... And for the record, you have done plenty for me, darling."

Harley leaned forward, to press a quick kiss on Pam's forehead. "Are ya sure you're okay? I kinda dumped all of this on ya and it's only like 8 AM. Sorry if I screwed up your day, oops."

At this Pam chuckled, and that made Harley's heart flutter. "I'm fine right now. We don't need to dig deep into my mind at the moment, Doctor Harleen Quinzel." With saying Harley's title she grabbed onto Harley's hand with her own and gave it a squeeze. "I'm actually very happy you said all of that... Except the parts where you said you hate yourself and don't deserve me, etcetera, etcetera. Can we talk about that?"

Harley shook her head, brushing Pam's red hair with her free hand, carefully running her fingers through the gentle curls. "This ain't about me right now, 'kay?" Pam raised an eyebrow and Harley just kissed her shortly again. "Point is; Will ya please just talk to me whenever ya aren't feelin' good? Please, baby? I feel really bad that ya thought ya couldn't all this time... I swear ya aren't selfish just because we both have truckloads of issues." 

Pamela sighed, a soft smile playing at her lips, "Im sorry, Harl. And I promise I will. But we are definitely discussing what you said later, m'kay?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, P.I." 

A shrug was the response.

"Can we just kiss for right now?"

The request was met with Pamela's lips to her own.


	23. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley and Pam have a little discussion. Selina goes to Alfred for advice ;).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want Selina and Alfred to be family ok thanks

"Harley, I'd like your opinion on something." Pamela said, barely looking up from the newspaper she was going through. She could vaguely tell Harley glanced at her, her head slightly cocked to the side. The action made Pam smile to herself. She covered her smile with the newspaper. "What's up, Red?" Harley questioned.

"Would you rather stay in Metropolis or National City?"

Pamela figured it would be best for Harley's... Situation, if you will, if they left Gotham, since here they were so incredibly well known, and went to a place where, at the very least, it wouldn't even be known that they were there. Plus, the Joker is in Gotham, not National City or Metropolis.

"Why?" Harley sounded genuinely puzzled, "Ain't we stayin' in Gotham?"

Shaking her head, Pamela set down the newspaper to look at Harley directly. "Sweetpea, we could, but in honesty getting out of this city would be a million times better for you." She repeated her reason out loud to the clown girl. Though, she left out Harley's ex-boyfriend from the explanation. Instead, she added, "And I doubt the Batman will go looking outside of his city for us. Supergirl, Superman, sure, but if they don't know we're there we should be good."

Fingers tapped as Harley sarcastically took the reasons into consideration. She'd clearly already made up her mind. The whole thing was a show. "You make good points, girlfriend. If we are gonna go somewhere else, I'd say National City... You know, I'd rather deal with Supergirl than Superman." Harley quickly added to her sentence, "Not sayin' we couldn't totally take Superman, but I'd rather, like, not for the time being." 

A light chuckle came from Pam. "That's what I was thinking, dear. The only reason that girl won before was because of Livewire screwing us up. We outrank her."

"Great minds think alike, yeah?" Harley then nodded her agreement, "Supergirl ain't very good, she's got nothing on Batgirl. And she's the one with actual superpowers, so that's just sad, don't ya think?"

Bashing super-idiots was always fun, in Pam's opinion. "Mmm... Definitely. So National City it is?"

Harley gave a thumbs up, "Guess so!" 

"Alright, daffodil," Pamela bit her lip, thinking a moment. "So, is Dr. Quinzel up for a session?"

The way Harley's eyes lit up over how their recent discussion had gotten Pam to open up to her more made up for a lot of years, Pam thought.  
—

Selina didn't exactly have many friends. Sure, she had Pamela and Harley but she had no clue where either of them were at this point and if they had their way she wouldn't be finding them anytime soon. Dick Grayson could be called her friend, though she saw him more as an acquaintance than anything. The old Boy Wonder kind of annoyed her sometimes. Bruce was her friend, her enemy, her... They were somewhat more complicated. And it's not like she'd go complain about her issues about Bruce to Bruce, right? Right. 

But in the end she'd still found herself here, in this towering mansion, belonging to the most famous name in Gotham. But not for Bruce.

A grateful nod was given to Alfred as he poured her a cup of tea. It was some kind of fancy foreign tea, even though she'd be perfectly fine with plain, tasteless tea. Ha. Rich people. In honesty she'd filed Alfred as a last resort. But she did trust the old man; he was genuinely good, he did have a dry sense of humor (as did she, really), and he could keep a secret. If all his years working with Batman didn't prove such, she didn't know what did. Despite his closeness with Bruce he'd keep what she'd said between them.

The butler sat across from her. "You've made it quite clear you're not here to see Master Bruce, Ms. Kyle." He said rather bluntly. The Batman was currently out fighting who-knows-who who-knows-where. "Now that we have tea, may you explain?" 

Selina had a sort of smile. "I'm here to talk to you, Alfred." 

"My, that's a first." Alfred gave a slight head shake. "If you're trying to flatter this old man, I appreciate it but do move on." 

That was his dry sense of humor for you. "Really, Alfred." Selina rolled her eyes as she gingerly lifted the cup to her lips and sipped the hot liquid. After a moment of letting the warmth of the drink relax her, she sighed to herself and leaned back, internally debating with herself. "It's about Bruce. And me." 

She didn't need to say more than that for Alfred to give a good-natured chuckle, "Has it really taken you this long to realize your feelings, Ms. Kyle?"

"I don't know what I feel, Alfred." Selina hated to admit anything related to her emotions. It made her feel incredibly vulnerable, and she did not like that at all. "I'm... Confused. Or something."

"May I suggest you have some commitment issues?"

Um, what? Selina squinted at the butler.

Alfred offered a slight smile and shrug, "Master Bruce talks about you quite often. From what I've heard you certainly feel something for him, yet you don't want to commit to anyone."

Selina pursed her lips. Damn that Bruce Wayne. She quickly drank the rest of her tea without noticing.

The tea pot was picked up as Alfred leaned forward and refilled her cup with the hot drink. "May I suggest you actually try with him?" Alfred continued, as he leaned back and set the pot down again. "You two can't keep playing this game between the both of you. It's been years of this, Ms. Kyle. Master Wayne is a good man, and he certainly loves you, I can say that for certain. So, Ms. Kyle, all I can tell you is to give him a chance if you do see something with him."

Taking a deep breath, Selina set the cup onto the side table and stood. "Thank you for your input, Al." 

A nod was given in return. "Anytime." 

"And keep this conversation between us, alright?" 

"Of course. Can I walk you out, Ms. Kyle?"

Selina shook her head firmly, "No, thank you. I'll try not to get lost on the way out." She gave a little smile, which was returned, before exiting and making her way to the entrance rather hurriedly. 

Part of her was hoping someone would tell her she was right to keep her space.


	24. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Harleen Quinzel, Arkham Asylum. Fun times.

Doctor Harleen Quinzel.

The title had a ring to it, she thought all the while she drove to work. Arkham Asylum. It was the first day she would be working there, and damn if she wasn't going to be the best at what she did. 

What could go wrong, right?

Pulling into an empty parking space, Harleen pulled the key from the car and stepped out. In the side mirror she briefly checked her appearance before nodding at herself in contentment. If it was her first day she was absolutely not going to go in looking like she'd stayed up for two nights surviving only on coffee researching the asylum and every major criminal she had heard mentioned on the news, being caught by the masked vigilante Batman. Not to say that she had done such. But she had powered make-up under her eyes to cover the circles that were there and had taken an hour to fix the rest of her appearance; her hair, which was dirty and ratted, her clothes, which were all wrinkled, and had made sure several times she did not look like death. 

She walked confidently into the asylum and up to the woman seated at the front desk. 

"How may I help you?" The secretary asked, not looking up from her magazine and sounding as if she'd rather be going head to head with the Batman and Superman at once than being here. And Batman and Superman were armed with, like, two guns each. Harleen pushed her irritation to the side and instead gave a smile. She wasn't about to let some bratty secretary ruin her first day. "I'm—"

Saved from having to converse with the secretary any longer, a woman's voice came from behind her; "You must be Harleen Quinzel?" 

Harleen turned to see a woman with darker skin and short black hair giving her a friendly smile. She recognized her as Dr. Joan Leland, a well-known and well-respected psychiatrist. Dr. Leland was her superior and Harleen certainly had looked up to her since she first began college. Her smile towards the secretary turned into a real one now and she nodded, and held her hand out, "Call me Harley." 

Dr. Leland took her hand and shook it, "Dr. Joan Leland," She introduced herself, though Harleen was sure she was well aware Harleen already knew who she was. "A pleasure to meet you. Arkham is severely understaffed, and a doctor with marks like yours working here is certainly a pleasant surprise." It's not as if she slept her way through college, after all. Ha. 

Though, she did of course take this as a compliment, and Harleen responded with, "A pleasure to me, as well. And this facility has some of the most infamous criminals in the country— Working here was a dream."

"Not many would agree with that, but we're happy to have you." Dr. Leland gave a short laugh, before waving her hand, "Come on back, and my apologies for our secretary not being very... Motivated." The secretary shot a glare over her magazine but then went straight back to reading it. Dr. Leland said something about it under her breath, but smiled again at Harleen and walked to a set of doors, expecting Harleen to follow.

She did. 

Dr. Leland kept walking, with Harley at her heel, and kept talking, "I'll show you your office. Your first patient will be Edward Nygma, his session with you is tomorrow in the morning, today I expect you to look over his files, tapes, and anything else you need to do to prepare for your session."

Edward Nygma. Enigma. "That's Riddler, right?" Her question was met with a nod from Dr. Leland, but it took her a moment to comprehend the movement as she was behind Dr. Leland, but it got the point across. Dr. Leland continued, "I've put his files in your office. When you want his tapes ask an orderly to get them for you." 

As much as she wanted to pay full attention to her superior and psychiatry idol, Harleen was quite distracted seeing the faces of the criminals she'd seen all over the news. Two-Face, Riddler, Scarecrow, and... She locked eyes with a woman with lovely red hair who had a smile and a body that just screamed femme fatale. She was absolutely gorgeous in person even in the prison uniform. Poison Ivy. She was interesting. She held eye contact for a moment.

When she finally broke away from the gorgeous woman she then caught sight of the worst of them all; the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker, no matter his title it was clear who he was with his signature green hair, frighteningly pale skin and wicked smile. He winked at her, grinned at her, and she couldn't help but feel giddy at this. Immediately Harleen chastised herself for the blush in her cheeks. But he continued to stare at her as she followed Dr. Leland and she stared back at him with interest and the unethical, unfortunate way she felt.

Only after the insane clown was out of eyesight did Harleen realize she had missed every single thing Dr. Leland had been saying. Way to go, Harleen, she chastised herself. 

Eventually Dr. Leland stopped at a door, and opened it with unlocking it. She then explained herself with, "The key is on your desk." Harleen nodded to show her understanding, "Nygma's files," Dr. Leland motioned to a stack of papers on Harleen's desk, next to the silver office key. "You have a twenty minute lunch break, by the way, which you can take whenever you don't have a session."

Harleen nodded, "Understood,"

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, thank you. I appreciate your help very much, Dr. Leland." Harleen really did appreciate it, even though she had drowned out most of it when she was being eye-fucked by a clown. "It was good to finally meet you." 

"You too." Dr. Leland gave a genuine smile, before walking to the office door, "If you need anything don't be afraid to ask." And with that she left. 

Harleen practically collapsed into the chair at her desk and eyed the mound of paper in front of her. While she should get started on going over Edward Nygma's data, she was instead thinking about the Joker. That man—clown—was by far more interesting than the Riddler who—from what she could tell—was just an oily little dude with a book of riddles. The Joker was, well, The goddamn Joker. He'd killed dozens and dozens of people, nearly killed the Bat, and he did it for laughs. He had a gas that gave his victim a smile along with death, a rather permanent mark they'd lost his game. He was always smiling that bright, unnerving smile of his even when he was having his ass kicked by the Batman and was being dragged back into prison. The kind of sinister smile that gave children nightmares, the kind that every criminal was afraid of seeing, the kind of smile that...

Had given her butterflies.

But that wasn't the point! The point was the Joker had the most intriguing mind of all of these psychopaths and not a single psychiatrist had been able to figure him out. Of course Harleen wanted a few sessions with the guy. 

Abruptly sitting straight she grabbed the papers and started looking through them. All she had to do was kill at her job and, after she'd proven herself, get a session with the Joker. Simple, really.

—

Harleen certainly had proven herself to be a skilled psychiatrist over the months. She was perfectly confident in that fact. But, frankly, Dr. Leland was still denying her request. 

"Harley, I know you're good at this," Dr. Leland tapped her black pen on her desk in an annoying rhythm, "But the Joker's... A special case—"

"Exactly," Harleen was beginning to get irritated, "Of course he's a special case, that's why I want to have a session with him!" How could this lady not get that through her thick skull? Dr. Leland took a breath, "Not. Now. Period." Harleen could really tell she had been pissinf the woman off lately with her insistence. Good. "Now go, you have a session with Isley."

Keeping herself from rolling her eyes at Dr. Leland, Harley stood and walked stiffly to the door of Dr. Leland's office. Stepping out, she followed the familiar path to the room where she talked to her patients... Which unfortunately did not include the Joker.

Once she got into the room with Poison Ivy, she immediately frowned deeper at the handcuffs around her wrists. It was a personal rule of hers to not restrain her patients during their conversations. In her opinion it would only make them more uncomfortable and the last thing she needed was for them to feel that way. She turned briskly and barked at the guard outside the door, "We've gone over this!" Her finger pointed at the silver cuffs. 

The guard looked almost scared, "It's Poison Ivy, Doctor—"

Not being in the mood for this, Harleen sighed heavily, "Does it sound like I think that's a valid excuse? Take them off." 

He found his keys but simply stared at the red headed woman dumbly. Harleen stepped forward and grabbed his keys from him, sharply called him a 'pussy' and shut the door in his face. Poison Ivy's alluring chuckle came from behind her, and Harleen finally got over to her patient. "I'm sorry," She said, unlocking the handcuffs and pulling them off of Poison Ivy's wrists. The apology was more over how she'd treated the guard in front of her than for the handcuffs.

"Would you really rather have the Joker than me, darling? I'm insulted." Poison Ivy said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Excuse me?" Asked Harleen as she sat down across from Poison Ivy and set the handcuffs down and the key in her pocket. 

"Dr. Leland has flowers in her office." Ivy said as if it explained everything.

Though, Harleen did indeed get that Poison Ivy could talk to her 'babies' and hear them and god knows what else. You'd think this damn asylum would get its shit together long enough to realize, 'hey, maybe the reason Poison Ivy breaks out so often is because there are plants all over the asylum?'. "Is there a reason you were spying on me?"

"What would be the fun of telling you?"

Harleen again resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Poison flippin' Ivy might be able to get any man she wanted to drop his pants at just the sight of her but to Harleen it was just plain annoying. "Now, if we're done talking about me—"

Poison Ivy interrupted seemingly more interested in Harleen's shit than her own. "Normally I wouldn't care at all, but let me advise you not to get mixed up with that clown."

Did everyone have something against Harleen? All she wanted was a shot at the most notorious, complex villain in the country and instead she was repetitively being shot down. Every psychiatrist with the right mind would want a go with the Joker. "Why's that?" Harleen asked, even though she really didn't care and really did not want Poison Ivy's opinion. "For starters, he'd manipulate a girl like you in a heartbeat."

This Harleen took offense to. "A girl like me?" She really didn't want to admit how much this damn tree hugger was able to get under her skin. Ivy pissed her off, often.

"You're new here, Dr. Quinzel. You're willing to do anything to get what you want. You're young and you can be easily tricked. And, honestly, don't even try and act like that's not true and that someone wouldn't use that to their advantage." Poison Ivy didn't entirely sound like she was making fun of Harleen but rather like she was genuinely worried about it and this confused the hell out of the psychiatrist. But despite confusion Harleen could still bite back, "You mean exactly what you yourself do, constantly?"

Ivy raised a finger in disagreement. "I do it to men who deserve it, kid. Look, Pamela was like you in some ways and look where that got me." She motioned at herself. "You can take my opinion for a grain of salt if you so choose, but honestly, I can't say I'll be surprised when I see a familiar doctor was killed by the Joker." 

Harleen decided she really hated Poison Ivy.

—

Harleen wasn't a rule-follower. And maybe Poison Ivy was right about her doing whatever she needed to to get what she wanted. It was a fact and anyone who actually knew her knew that fact. 

The Joker had finally escaped Arkham. She'd stolen the Joker's files, his patient interviews, printed out every article ever written about him in the Gotham Gazette. No one actually had figured out it'd been she who had taken the files and tapes; she could be sneaky as hell if she wanted to and she wasn't afraid to admit she was very good at crime. Must've been something inside of her. Plus, who would suspect her?

At home, a dingy apartment but still home, she had inserted the first tape into her television and sat back with complete interest.

The video was grainy but still she could see his smile, his green hair, staring right at the camera, at her. Ignoring her heartbeat jumping frantically at the sight of him, she listened. 

For an entire day, a full twenty four hours, she sat and watched tape after tape after tape, interest only increasing every time the Joker smiled or spoke or laughed in his maniacal way. A smile would take place on her own lips at every cruel joke he made that would make most shocked that someone would have the nerve of say such things. She found herself wondering how people could hate such a charming man. He was funny, playful, and he was sick; just a normal man who'd lost his life because of an accident at ACE Chemicals. Caused by Batman. Yes, she had begun to blame Batman for the accident that had turned the Joker into this. She sympathized with the clown who had killed so many people and projected the image of the villain on the one man in Gotham who seemed truly good.

Seeing dozens of doctor's notes about him made her angry. Seeing all of them talk negatively about his ways, his mind. All of them were wrong. They just couldn't see in the unique way the Joker did. Not like Harleen could.

And with her growing... Feelings for the Joker, she'd done something even more irrational than stealing from the asylum. She went hunting. Getting in her car, she tried to convince herself she was being an idiot. But the other side won, and she hit the gas. Every single shut down amusement park, toy store, and every other kind of place the Joker would hideout in was visited by her that night until finally, freaking finally, she saw two men who looked oddly like the Joker's usual henchmen going into an old toy store that was long closed down. 

Wandering to the entrance, she was trying to be quiet, cautious. But not two minutes after she'd entered the building did she feel cold metal against her temple. Freezing, Harleen stiffened and took a deep breath. She remained silent, and so did the person holding her at gunpoint, until that person laughed like a hyena and whipped to her front, dragging the gun so that it was now at the center of her forehead. The laugh had been enough to recognize.

"Well, if it isn't Dr. Harleen Quinzel!" His smile was crooked, his eyebrow raised as he took in her appearance. "I don't suppose you came here trying to get me back to Arkham all on your own?" 

Harleen swallowed her fear of the gun, and stood a little more confidently, though the butterflies in her middle made that rather hard to do. "No. I," She paused. Why was she here? What kind of doctor is desperate enough to track down a murderer on their own just to have a therapy session? "I wanted to see you," the words slipped out without her even thinking them, and immediately she mentally slapped herself for it. 

For a moment the clown was silent, before laughing loudly and taking the gun off of her. Harleen relaxed. "You wanted to see me, doc? Ha! All those months of only staring longingly at each other finally get to you?" 

Yes. No, what she wanted was to get a shot at the world's most fascinating, most charming, handsome man— No. "Did it get to you?" Harleen turned the question on him, and he seemed to be entertained by this. 

"Oh, very much so," He held the back of his gloved hand to his forehead dramatically, "I was absolutely crushed thinking about how we may never even speak! How do they expect me to control myself with such a beautiful doctor staring at me all day?" 

Harleen smiled, heat in her cheeks, "Beautiful?" 

"Of course! Though I must say you do look better with a smile than your," he slipped his hand onto Harleen's cheek and ran his thumb across her bottom lip and her heart quickened, "usual frown." He took his hand away and Harleen found herself missing the warmth of it, but still listened fully as he kept talking, "Your name, Harley Quinn. It's a hoot! Really, what were your parents thinking?"

"Harley Quinn?" Harleen obviously had understood the harlequin joke but she'd never been called Harley Quinn by anybody. She certainly hadn't wanted to. If anybody else had ever called her that before she'd never be taken seriously. What with gymnastics, college, and now work. But he was different, he liked that about her, he wasn't making fun of her despite his words. It matched him. "Why, of course," He told her, before slipping to her side and slipping an arm around her back and beginning a stride. "Since you're here, Harley, how about a drink? Working all the time must be so very stressful..."

As Harleen was being walked along she could now see the Joker's two henchmen were watching them, seemingly confused as to why the Joker hadn't already, you know, killed her.

And, despite her mind telling her not to, she said, "That sounds... Nice." 

"Of course it does," The Joker nodded, leading her into a room away from his henchmen. "Have a seat!" He motioned around the room. A couch had been messily dragged into the space, probably in quick time, along with a few wooden chairs. Harleen sat on the couch.

The Joker disappeared for a moment before returning with a bottle of wine and two glasses, before sitting down next to Harley and pouring them each a glass. He handed Harley her's. "Don't you think a goody goody doctor like yourself shouldn't be spending quality time with a patient? Could give people a bad impression," He gave a wink. 

Rolling her eyes, Harleen took a sip of the wine. She hadn't really relaxed in... A long time. "I'm anything but a goody goody doctor, Mister J." Why she had called him that she didn't know. If felt right. "I stole all of your files and tapes from the asylum. I slept my way through college. Also got my boyfriend killed in college. List goes on," at this list the Joker gave his signature hyena cackle, "I stand corrected, Harley! You fucked your professors to graduate? That explains a lot, really." 

The wine in her glass was drunk with a single swig at the comment. She really what'd to be mad, or annoyed at least, at the implication she wasn't smart enough to do it herself, but... She couldn't bring herself to be mad at him. "That's about right." Was what she answered with instead, and somehow agreeing she was stupid was what made her feel like she actually was. The Joker poured more wine into her glass and she kept drinking it faster than she really should be. Eventually she had drank all of it and they switched to beer and she became drunk and clumsy quickly.

—

When Harleen woke up it was in her apartment and she vaguely remembered the Joker driving her home in her car. 

As she got up, and started about her day despite the massive headache she had, she remembered more about the previous night. She hadn't done anything incredibly stupid as she knew she had secretly wanted, but she had spilled her entire life story to him and the more she thought about it was sure she probably did spill the part where she started having a thing for a certain clown. 

She'd decided she'd made a rather big mistake.

Yet she still found herself with him again that night. And every night after that.

—

He seemed to know exactly how to keep Harleen his.

For a month Harleen had been finding herself with the Joker every single night, and then coming home, drunk or not, and feeling more and more stupid. To the Joker she kept going because, really, he was delightful company and had a view more unique than any other. He really was a charming man when he wanted to be, and he seemed to know exactly how to make Harleen squirm. But still he was a psychopathic murder, so there's that.

For whatever reason, the same night she'd decided that she wasn't going to see him anymore, she was going to turn him in, he kissed her. His lips were scratchy and chapped and he held her face more roughly than he should have but he was kissing her, and Harleen couldn't help but wanting more and returning the gesture. Sometimes it seemed like he knew when she was going to try and leave, because it was always then he pulled her back in with his romantic antics.

Despite the fact anybody would have agreed the Joker is a no good, terrible person incapable of love Harleen still loved him and still was convinced he was falling for her. She craved his kisses, his affection. She felt addicted to him. 

So Harleen had let him do whatever he wanted to her just so she'd get his approval, his love. 

But still, even after she had given everything she could to make him happy he had raised his fist and had hit her for the first time. He laughed as if it were the funniest thing he'd ever done, ever seen; hitting the only woman who cared for him. Harleen fell to the floor at the pressure and the pain that exploded in her cheek and she decided then what everyone said about this clown was right. She was going to run from him, she was going to be better for herself, but then...

He pulled her back in with two simple words. "I'm sorry," was what came out of his smiling mouth, and she couldn't do it. Because what if he really was sorry, and she'd lose the one man that truly loved her over what could have been a drunk accident for all she knew?

—

To everyone it seemed like Harleen Quinzel had simply disappeared of the face of the earth. She hadn't talked to anybody she knew in months. Nobody accept for him.

Joan Leland called daily. Her family called often. So did work. The calls were never answered, the voicemails never listened to. Once or twice Joan Leland had been at her door, but was met with no sign anyone even lived here. 

Harley couldn't even remember the last time she'd gone to work. Finally she got fired, received a letter in the mail as they'd stopped trying the phone, and she wanted to care but she couldn't find it in her. She was an idiot, she was worthless and she deserved it. 

The Joker had, frankly, took everything from her. She'd given her love, her life and her body to him. She'd given her self-worth; he made her believe she was terrible and dumb and useless and annoying. That she wasn't good for anything and she was lucky that he gave her all the chances in the world even though she deserved nothing and nobody else wanted her. He did everything he could, said everything he could to hurt her and her body was covered in more bruises and cuts than she could count. She'd given her humanity; her skin was deathly white and her mind was more messed up than ever, for he had dumped her in the same chemicals that made him the monster he is.

She couldn't face anybody when she was this pathetic. Except for him. He liked her like this, he said. He liked the crazy in her, the ugly, he liked how she was his as long as he made that clear. 

Every time he said he was sorry she wanted to believe he had changed, so she went back and gave him her entire being once again. Every moment she enjoyed with him was outweighed by another moment of him hurting her, degrading and manipulating her. She looked past the hurt and looked forward to the rare occasion of love. 

Eventually she had found herself in a red and black jester outfit and her name was Harley Quinn. She'd let her Gotham accent slip back permanently and found humor was how she'd learned to cope with all of the hurt. She'd become a criminal; she stole, she hurt, she killed. 

Everything Harleen had done in the last year was all for the Joker and she never got anything in return.

It was hell and she was stuck in a loop.

—

Bloody and broken and barely conscious, Harley had no idea where she was, who's house this was. She didn't care, she couldn't even think about how she's a wanted criminal and nobody would help her. As far as she could tell she'd be ending up in Arkham again.

It honestly used all of her strength to even push the doorbell.

She felt more and more weak as the seconds passed, as she listened to the light footsteps walking towards the door, someone leaning against the door to look through the peephole. When it opened she saw red hair before she simply collapsed, her vision going black and the rest of her feeling fuzzy.

When she awoke, what she saw was the inside of a colorful room that was covered in plants, and a woman staring down at her with those cold, piercing green eyes that she found familiar from all those years ago.

Harley noticed she was laying on a bed and the woman who had once been her patient was sitting on the side of it. She could feel Poison Ivy's hand on her arm.

As she was about to say some joke about them knowing each other, she felt a sharp pain on the inside of her elbow, and immediately grasped it with her opposite hand. "Wha' the—"

"A shot." 

"Why?" Harley was beginning to feel her body and face ache again but she bit through it. She'd rather ignore the fact that her beloved Mistah J had beat her so much this time. 

"So you won't get sick, or die, for that matter, around me. They don't call me 'poison' for no reason, daffodil." Daffodil. Harley felt kind of happy at being called something that showed a kind of affection. It made her feel nice despite the pain she was in. Speaking of, she then tried to sit up but immediately regretted this decision. Ivy put a hand on her back, however, and encouraged her. After a moment Harley could move again, the pain becoming less severe from the sudden movement. Ivy helped Harley shift so that her back was against the headrest as support. 

Ivy sat down next to Harley again, and lifted a green hand to Harley's cheek, ghosting her fingertip over the dark bruises and the cuts, inspecting with her piercing gaze. "What happened to you?" Was what she asked, although she sounded like she already had a very good idea of what went down.

Silence. Harley stared at Ivy's hand rather than in her eyes and thought. This was just perfect, another person who'd think she was pathetic. Not to mention Ivy had been right all those years ago. Ivy had a big ego, that was clear, and definitely was the kind of person to say 'I told you so'. "I screwed up big time and Mistah J beat me for it. Not like it's anything new." Harley gave a dry laugh, wishing she could control the tears that slipped. It annoyed her she was being so weak. "I guess you can say you told me so, huh?" 

But rather than rubbing it in, Ivy wiped her tears away gently and shook her head, "I'm not going to try and make you feel worse than you do."

That was surprising. "Why are you helping me?"

The only answer was a small smile was on Ivy's lips and it was a smile she'd never seen the woman make. It was real; it was not fake, it wasn't a seduction method. It was something Harley had seen in a long time. And it made Harley break, causing her to start crying heavily. She wrapped her arms around Poison Ivy and pulled her close to her in a death-grip of a hug. It was obvious Ivy stiffened, uncomfortable with the contact, but Harley didn't relent and soon Ivy melted into the hold, squeezing Harley tight. Her fingers ran through Harley's tangled hair, combing it until it was soft.

Ivy wasn't familiar with comforting another human, that Harley had figured out quickly, but the fact someone so uncomfortable with the notion of such a thing was even trying for her was comforting in itself. 

—

Harley often had her memories invade her dreams or interrupt her sleep all together. 

And usually they all ended badly, with her beloved Puddin' hurting her even more. But this one Harley could at least deal with. Meeting Pamela Lillian Isley had to have been the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

She looked at Pam laying next to her, cuddled against her with her hand on Harley's middle, looking incredibly content. Harley craned her neck so she could place a soft kiss on the center of her girlfriend's forehead. "Thank you for everything, Pamela." She whispered, before settling again and drifting back to sleep.


	25. 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, thank y'all for all the kudos and comments <3 ily all

"You look fine, calm down." Pam told her, voice sounding rather agitated.

Admittedly, Harley was incredibly dissatisfied with her appearance now. More so than she had ever been, probably. First of all, her stomach looked like it was going to explode and she was growing even more mad that her usual clothes wouldn't fit and she was stuck wearing a very, very baggy black sweatshirt that she had for winter. It wasn't very attractive. And her hair was no longer red and black, or long for that matter; Pam gave her a haircut and now her hair was a bob, much to short for her usual pigtails, and she and Pam had dyed her hair a medium shade of brown. It's not that she didn't look pretty with it, but rather Harley was pissed because it was definitely not something that screamed Harley Quinn... Though that was exactly the point of doing this. 

Harley didn't appreciate it, though. "Remind me why you're not doing anything to yaself?" She motioned to Pam's usual red curls that were falling over her shoulders in gorgeous waves. "The biggest thing that would give me away is my skin, darling, which I can control." The botanist gave a little smirk, "Call me crazy but a lot of people would recognize you right off the bat, even just with your pigtails. You do tend to make yourself very noticeable." 

Grumbling, Harley looked back at herself in the small mirror Pam had found in her lab. "I look so stupid, Pam. And I look like I swallowed a balloon. And— And look at this shit!" She turned to her girlfriend and pulled up the sweatshirt over her stomach, "I have fucking stretch marks thanks to this monster!" 

Narrowing her eyes, Pam shrugged, "Most women have stretch marks, Harl, including me. It's not a big deal." 

"Ya have stretch marks because of your giant fricken knockers, so that's totally worth it." Harley informed her.

"Your child isn't worth a few stretch marks but my tits are?" Pamela seemed rather amused by this, and Harley stuck her tongue out. After giving a small laugh, Pam pulled Harley over to her and placed a short kiss on her stomach. "You're absolutely gorgeous. So, can we start getting our shit together now? You've been ranting for two hours." They had been planned to already be in National City by now. But that was interrupted by Harley being upset over herself and they'd sat in front of the mirror for those two hours with Harley ranting.

Harley gave an innocent smile, "...Sorry, sweetie. But, seriously, I look like a train wreck."

Pam smiled, "We can go shopping in National City. So get moving, okay?"

"Ooh, maternity clothes. Fun." 

Pamela rolled her eyes.

—

The city was loud, busy, crazy. As usual. And Harley was glad to be back in the city where it actually felt alive rather than in Pam's greenhouse. As much as she loved Pam's plants, they weren't exactly the best conversationalists and Harley couldn't stand silence. Gotham was practically heaven to a woman like Harley. She had a soft spot for it even though most wouldn't like the craze.

It was very clear Pamela felt the opposite, and had obviously wanted to murder about five men since they had left the greenhouse. Harley had to drag her away and quickly apologize to whatever man had accidentally bumped into her on the street. Gotta play it safe when your girlfriend is a known murderer, after all. The habit isn't the best to have while in public places. Harley should know.

Finally, Pamela and Harley had gotten to the train station. Which was fantastic for Harley, because her feet were killing her lately. Once they were aboard the train to National City, Harley sighed in relief and leaned her head on Pam's shoulder. "God, I never thought we'd sit down." She practically wailed the comment, drawing a few wandering stares her way. It had taken what felt like years to walk from Pam's greenhouse to the city and finally to the train station. "I'm dying, babe. Tell my girlfriend I love her." 

"Do you even think before you talk?" 

"Not really, no." She just said whatever came into her head, in honesty.

Chuckling, Pam found Harley's hand and held it. "Talk less, smile more." Harley grinned and kissed her shoulder, before settling back into her previous position. "So, do ya think Kitty is doin' okay?" The question was finished with her humming some of the Cookie Cat song. But really, she did miss Selina, so much she was a little sad. The cat was her friend, and one of her closest friends at that.

Pam seemed to stiffen at the mention of Catwoman, and Harley could practically feel her irritation. Sore subject, apparently. Oops. "Who cares? Selina left us when we were in trouble." Pam had a good point there. It did hurt Harley that Selina just left them like that, even after she knew how much trouble Harley was in with the pregnancy. Like, a woman could at least try for her friends, couldn't she? "She can get herself killed for all I care." There was such venom in the words it surprised Harley, even though this was Poison Ivy she was talking to.

Sitting up right, Harley glared at the plant goddess defensively, "Hey, she's still our friend, ya know." Someone had to defend Selina if Selina wasn't there to do it herself, right? "Ya'd be real upset if she died, and that's a fact no matter how hard ya try to deny it." 

After a second of silence, Pam gave her hand a squeeze, "Your heart is way too big, you know that?" 

"Sorr—"

"Don't apologize for it," Pam quickly told her, "I like that about you, I just don't like people who take advantage of that." 

Harley gave a smile, "Ya really know how to make me blush." Pam was a freaking sweetheart whether she liked it or not. Harley enjoyed such. "Now, uh," the clown yawned, laying her head back on Pam. "I'm real tired, wake me up when we get there?"

"Sure. Sweet dreams, love."

—

Pamela was, admittedly, quite sad to be leaving her greenhouse. She was one with the plants that grew there, and she considered them friends, as she did with all plants. Nature and her were in sync. In the city, very few places grew plants. There were several parks in Gotham and National City alike, but (especially in Gotham) the plants were hurt by the pollution and careless people that came with a big city. They didn't grow well, they died quickly, sometimes didn't grow at all. Pamela hated the city.

But it was clear Harley enjoyed it. And Harley wasn't like her— though she did love Pam's plants as much as she loves Pam, the temporary home for them at the greenhouse wasn't an ideal way for her to live. Especially not while she was pregnant. Moving was always the plan, from the second they got there.

Though it sometimes did, her search of locations in the newspapers didn't work. Unfortunate, it was, but it wasn't much of a setback. Without Harley's knowledge she'd snuck off into Gotham one night to use a telephone and contact the Broker. After this, Pam met up with him by the docks to discuss. He was able to get them a place in National City, so long as she could pay for it. And she did— any smart villain had a stash of cash somewhere. She may or may not have a secret bank account filled with thousands, for when she needed it. By the time she had snuck back to the greenhouse it was morning but Harley was still asleep, which gave her room to go into her lab and pretend she was never gone. 

Harley would be a little upset if she knew Pam went on a little trip without her. So, Pam spared her the trouble of it.

The place she had gotten them used to be a tiny law firm office that went out of business, and the building was simply abandoned. But it wasn't in bad shape at all and it functioned as a living space. Harley and she could make it as homey as they needed or wanted to. Knowing the woman, she would start decorating the second she got to. So... This seemed doable in Pam's opinion. 

She had convinced Harley to let her change her hair. Harley agreed with reluctance. Then Harley had gone on about her distaste of the change, but Pam thought she was beautiful no matter what and, really, she knew Harley secretly liked it. And Harley was well aware that with her new look they could go into public, which was something Harley enjoyed. Really, it worked more in Harley's favor than against.

On the train, Pam simply stared down at her hands as if they were more interesting than anything else for a while after Harley had fallen asleep. She watched nothing, enjoyed the feeling of Harley's head on her shoulder, listened to the soft, gentle sounds of Harley's snoring. What she did was drown out the chatter of the other passengers so she could focus on this woman she somehow loved. She simply thought and waited for the time to pass.

She fretted Harley's to-be child. What exactly was she worrying about? The Joker finding out, for one thing. A child being raised by two criminals who had committed countless acts of murder and thievery and everything in the book, for a second. And, a third thing, though she hated to think like this; Pam was sure that she, if not Harley as well, would look at the kid and only see the Joker in it's eyes. See the years of abuse he had given to the woman she cared so much for, see his hands all over her, taking whatever he wanted from her, causing this damn kid in the first place. To whatever god would listen she hoped the child wouldn't look like him, at least.

Selina was on her mind, now, too, thanks to Harley. Pamela and the cat always were on the verge of being enemies... Enemy seemed too strong of a word, however. Rivalry, maybe, was more suited to their dynamic. But they were, above all else, friends and allies, and she expected more than abandonment from Selina, although that apparently was expecting too much. It pissed her off, greatly.

Pamela lifted her hand to her forehead as if it would cease the sudden headache she had. She couldn't think of such things without becoming angry, so really, it was best she didn't think of them at all, lest she give Harley and she's identities away by letting anger fuel her actions. She distracted herself by playing with a lock of Harley's short, caramel-colored hair, winding it around her finger again and again until it was slightly curled. Eventually, the throbbing in her head she had started to fade along with her anger, as she fell into peace again. 

After a long, long period of silence and stillness, and they had reached National City, Pam tapped Harley's thigh to get her attention. "Harl, you wanna wake up or what?" Harley groaned, "Five more minutes, mom, thanks."

An eyebrow was raised at this, "We don't have five minutes. And I'm not your mother, so come on."

Harley sat up a little grumpily.

—

Something was wrong. Something was off, didn't feel the same, natural.

The Joker was sure he was missing a part of the picture when it came to Harley Quinn. Also known as; his property. He owned that foolish girl, when it really came down to it. She was his and she needed him, relied on him. She was his sidekick. His hench-wench, His girlfriend. His toy to do with what he pleased.

So where the hell was she? And why didn't he know?

The details he was unaware of— knowing he didn't know them bothered him, so very much. 

What made Harley go and run off with that stupid, arrogant tree hugger, again, he did not know. Even more so, he wanted to know why the hell she had not come crying back to him yet. It had to happen eventually. Harley was his. And yet it had been months— almost a year—since the Joker had had the imbecile in his grasp. 

There had to be explanation for such. There must have been a reason for her absence, when she so obviously depended on him for satisfaction with herself and with, well, everything. 

Perhaps Pammy had upped whatever dose of pheromones she was using on Harley to make her believe she loved her, rather than him. Maybe Pammy was forcing her to stay with her, rather than him. The thought brought a laugh from his smiling mouth; Harley was someone's property no matter where she was. Any independence that woman once had—gone. Nonexistent. It satisfied him greatly.

What did not satisfy him— where in the name of God was she?

Pammy could use her and play with her when the Joker was temporarily done with her if she wanted, but, hell, Harley belonged to him first and foremost. Was no one above sleeping with another person's girlfriend these days? Perhaps the next time he got his hands on Harley he'd have to mark her as his own. Ha! Do what he did with that Jason kid, brand a nice 'J' right on that pretty face of hers. That'd definitely chase Pammy away, and definitely it would remind everybody that she belonged to him, and that he wasn't above snapping a few necks if anyone tried to steal her.

It wasn't as if he missed his whore of a girlfriend—of course not—but she did come in handy for certain parts of his needs, as she would let him do whatever he pleased without so much as a word against it. Not to mention he knew there was more to the story that he didn't know. And damn if he wasn't going to find out.


	26. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back  
> Back again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops it's been way longer than I wanted for me to actually write this  
> I've been busy  
> And lazy  
> Not a good combo

The look on Harley's face when they got to their new home was cute, to be blunt. 

She had a wide grin on her face. Immediately Harley lied down on the floor and closed her eyes, exclaiming, "Sweet Jesus, it feels good to be in an actual building again!" Then she shrugged, the motion awkward in her position, and added, "No offense, Red, ya did a great job with the cellar but cellars just ain't my style of living." 

Pam sat down next to Harley on the floor, chuckling in her smooth voice, "I know, Harls. Do you think this place will do?" She knew they'd be here either way, but still, the courtesy was asking. Harley opened her bright eyes and turned her head to look at Pamela, "Duh! It'll be perfect once we get it all set up and decorated. I dunno how ya did it." Good, Pam thought to herself. 

"We've got a bed already," Pam told her. "Unless you're somehow comfortable on the floor."

"How'd ya swing that, Ives?" 

Shrugging, Pam said, "Pheromones. With a little 'persuasion' some men were kind enough to steal and set up for us. We've got some kitchen appliances, too." Harley gave a thumbs up, "You've got everythin' figured out all the time, huh? I see ya've already got some plants in here."

A nod was Pam's answer, before she kept talking. "Do you want to go out?" Pam asked, brushing some of Harley's hair from her face, "I know you like the city and it's been a while."

Humming a little song (Pam recognized it as the Gravity Falls opening), Harley raised an eyebrow, seemingly thinking over it. But Pam saw through the expression; Harley had already made her mind up and that was just an act. It was one of those cute Harley things Pam had seen several times over the years. 

"I was thinking we could do that later, I've done enough walkin' today. My feet want to die." 

"Okay," Pam agreed, and hesitated a moment before laying her hand on Harley's arm to keep the woman's attention, "How are you doing?" The question was towards both the pregnancy and Harley's mental health and, well, everything in general. The botanist couldn't help but still be worried, after the Joker had been contacting her in the asylum. It wasn't like she could read Harley's mind, and despite the fact she could read Harley pretty well in general, it was always possible for her to miss things. She had to ask, and hope Harley would be honest with her. For a meta-human she felt incredibly powerless sometimes. 

Harley answered almost instantly, "Actually, I'm doin' surprisingly good. I'm really happy 'bout lots of things." Pam's voice was content sounding as she asked, "Like what?"

Gesturing to their new home, Harley began, "Well, we've got this place now. There ain't hardly a chance of the bat getting us. I finally got through ta ya," with this she poked Pam in the shoulder, "And... I'm really thinkin' I'm movin' on this time, I'm doin' real good, in my opinion. And... We're gonna have Lucy in no time," she pointed at her own stomach, "...There's just lotsa things ta be happy about. And, I've always just kinda been an optimistic gal." 

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear all of that, Harleen." Really, truly, it made Pamela incredibly happy that Harley believed in herself and was so optimistic towards everything. It was amazing given how much Harley had been through in her many years. Harley was absolutely the light of Pam's life. "...Do you know how proud of you I am?" 

"I can imagine." Harley sat up, pulled Pam closer to her and kissed the botanist's neck several times as a thank you. 

—

Harley actually really enjoyed National City. For one thing, she could about her business without making someone piss themselves in fear and then go running. Such got a little tiring sometimes. There was a Chinese takeout place within walking distance and Harley, personally, thought it was the shit. She probably had eaten it twenty times since they moved here, which hadn't been long. Pam found that to be a little laughable. 

On the note of Pam, she mostly just enjoyed the nearby park. The plants were actually alive, not on the verge of death, and the park was relatively clean. Neither of those things were features of Gotham's parks. Pam didn't really care for the rest of the city, it was full of people, she hated people, blah blah blah. That didn't surprise Harley. But, who cares? They were safe and sound and they both found things they enjoyed so, hey, win-win.

But as much as she loved the city, Harley did spend most of her time in the house. She didn't mind much, it gave her all the time in the world to just watch cartoons and eat snacks, which she enjoyed doing a lot. 

Tonight she was doing just that. Pam went off to get the both of them dinner, and Harley was left to herself. She plopped in front of the T.V. and turned on Adventure Time. All was peaceful as usual, quiet save for the characters on the screen and Harley's commentary on the episode that she would provide every time a character did something stupid or she wanted her ships to just shut the hell up and make the hell out. Then there was a knock on the door.

This made Harley freeze, and glance at the front door with wide eyes. No one here knew they existed let alone where they lived, and Pam would've just walked straight in. "Well, shit," The clown said quietly to herself, before pausing her cartoon, standing up, and walking questioningly to the door. She opened it, pretty much ready to go head-to-head with some vigilante asshole in tights. But instead of that she found—

Selina Kyle, holding a potted plant and a stuffed hyena and looking rather annoyed or embarrassed or something Harley couldn't quite place. "Close your mouth, Harl, it's not nice to stare." She said, basically pushing Harley aside and walking in like she owned the place. Harley took a moment to grasp her visitor's existence before shutting and locking the door. "Kitty?" Harley questioned. It's not like she hadn't hallucinated before. 

"In the flesh." The cat confirmed, before raising both the plant and hyena and shrugged, "Housewarming gifts?" 

As much as Harley wanted to hug Selina she was pretty sure she was supposed to still be angry with her. So instead she just stood there dumbly and stared. "How'd ya...?"

The plant and hyena were set on the floor. Selina walked over to the couch and plopped down on it, motioning for Harley to join her, like Harley was the guest and she was the host. Either way, Harley sat next to her. "I'm on somewhat good terms with Penguin, you know." Selina informed, "Do a little job for the guy, I can get whatever information I want." 

"Pam's gonna be mad," Harley blurted, her tone whiny. Not being able to control herself anymore, Harley wrapped her arms around Selina and hugged her as tight as she could. "I think I'm s'posed ta be mad too but I really missed ya." 

Chuckling lightly, Selina returned the embrace. "Believe me, Ivy is going to try and murder me. I... Missed you too, Harl." Pulling back, Selina studied Harley carefully, before speaking again, "How's the pregnancy going?" 

At this, Harley's usual smile came onto her lips and she grabbed Selina's hand and squeezed it, "Really good. Well, it's absolute shit but you know, worth it. You have no idea how excited I am." 

"That's good... You're sure about this?" Harley could tell Selina was treading carefully, like Harley would bite her head off if she asked the wrong thing. 

Nodding firmly, Harley answered, "Yeah, really, I am. I'm glad Pammy and ya worry about me but I do know what I'm doin', even though I don't act all that smart." 

Selina must have accepted this answer, because she lightly smiled, and changed topics. "I like your hair. I almost didn't recognize you."

"That's the point," Harley giggled. "Pam didn't do shit ta herself. I dunno how she's fooling anybody. Like, she—"

The sound of the door being unlocked was heard for a split second, before it opened and Pam walked in holding takeout bags. "The Chinese place was closed, Harls, I hope you like Greek—" That was when Pam's green eyes looked up and bore into Selina, going from nice to literal Satan in a millisecond. The bags dropped the floor and the next thing Harley knew, Pamela's plants were wrapped around Selina's body tightly, restraining her movement. Pam's skin turned back to its usual green faster than Harley had ever seen it change.

Selina looked bored, even with a vine slithering loosely around her neck, threatening to choke the air from her. "See, what'd I tell you, Harley? Hey, Pammy, this usually isn't how you treat your guests!" She called over to Pam, who looked infuriated. 

"Harley, what the hell is she doing here?" Pam's voice held such venom Harley couldn't help but shrink down to try and avoid the blaming glare pointed at her. "I swear I didn't do anythin' Red, I didn't—" a vine stretched towards her and Harley tried to literally shrink into the couch. 

Thankfully, Selina came to her defense, saying, "Oh, for God's sake, stop scaring your girlfriend shitless. She had no idea I was coming here. Gotta say, though, she's a better hostess than you by far." 

Pamela walked stiffly up to them. She leaned in close to Selina, so that their faces weren't even two inches apart. "How did you find us?"

Rolling her eyes, Selina sighed in annoyance. "Penguin." Harley could tell Pam was internally plotting Penguin's murder. Pam continued, "And what makes you think you can fucking walk in here after you left us?"

Sarcastically, Selina smiled, "We're all friends here, everyone makes mistakes." 

"I can, and will, kill you in the most prolonged and painful way imaginable, Selina." The vine around Selina's neck squeezed, not enough to kill her but enough to make breathing difficult. "I can't find a single reason as to why I shouldn't do just that. You knew fucking well what our situation is, and yet you didn't even try to help us. Do you have any idea the shit that could have happened, you worthless meat sack?" 

Selina tried to make a sarcastic remark, but couldn't due to her lack of air. At this point Harley was getting rather scared, and she chewed on her lip to the point it was bleeding. The plants started to squeeze a little tighter by the second, and Harley stood up quickly, "Red, stop," 

There wasn't a response.

Harley grabbed Pam's hand and ignored the way Pam stiffened with anger, "Pamela, please stop. Please." She really did love Selina, and the sight of the life being choked from her was killing her. She didn't notice until now there were tears rolling down her cheeks; Pam really was freaking terrifying and she would kill Selina if she wanted to, and she wanted to. 

After a moment of staring at Harley, Pam released Selina. The cat coughed, and rubbed at her red throat, before muttering in a dry voice, "I always knew you were kinky, Pam. Hot." 

"You're lucky Harley likes you." Pam spat, crossing her arms, "Even though she shouldn't. Why are you here?" 

Selina sat straight, still massaging her throat. "Look, I'm sorry, m'kay? Believe it or not I do care about Harley's... Situation," she reached over and patted Harley's tummy, making Pam flinch like she were going to drop kick Selina if Selina hurt her girlfriend at all. "It's not like there's a lot for me in Gotham, anyway, so I just... Want to help out if I can." Harley could tell that entire statement annoyed Selina to say, because she was basically swallowing all of her pride by helping with Harley's freaking pregnancy, and Harley grinned. 

"Welcome aboard, Kitty!" Harley squeezed her again. Pam muttered something indecipherable before running off to she and Harley's bedroom and locking herself inside. "I know she loves trees and shit but that doesn't mean she should have a stick up her ass all the time." Selina rolled her eyes, "Anyway, thank you, Harley." 

An apologetic smile was given, "She'll come around. Probably."


	27. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONES salty.

A final glare was given to Selina before Pam rushed to she and Harley's bedroom. Quickly, she locked the door, ensuring herself time away from both that stupid cat and her girlfriend who was too nice for her own good. No one would ever be good enough for that clown, she was too freaking good-hearted to be believed. Admittedly, Pam was a little mad at Harley (but she was bottom-line furious at fucking Selina Kyle). Sitting on the bed, Pam grumbled to herself, and rubbed roughly at her temple even though that only made her oncoming headache worse. "Stupid cat..." 

If not for Harley, Selina would've dead right now and Pam would've been giving her plants a little snack. 

After a while of Pam just lying on the bed and trying to control her anger (and cease her headache), a knock was sounded on the door of the room. "Pamela?" Harley's voice was a little nervous sounding, softer and more careful than normal. This tone made Pam sigh to herself; fantastic, she had to deal with Selina and she'd also scared the shit out of her girlfriend. "Can I come in, please...?" 

Not wishing to get up, Pam flicked her wrist and sent a plant over to undo the lock. It clicked, and not a second after, the knob turned and Harley walked in with a droopy composure and her eyes looking at the ground. She shut the door behind her and stood there, fiddling with something in her hands. "Pam, I'm real sorry I upsetted ya, I didn't mean ta or anythin', and I'm sorry you're mad now, and—"

"Harley," Pam interrupted, not wanting to hear this spiel, as it simply wasn't true. "You didn't upset me or make me mad, Selina did. I'm sorry for scaring you, sweet pea."

Looking up at Pam, Harley sniffled a little bit. "You're not mad a' me?"

Shaking her head, Pam patted next to her, "C'mere," 

Harley came over and lied down next to Pamela. Pam wrapped her arms around Harley and kissed her once, then twice. Then she asked, "What are you holding?"

Harley's mouth made a little 'o' like she forgot she had something, before giving it, which turned out to be a pill, to Pam. "Ya get headaches real easy sometimes, so I brought ya some aspirin." Pam thanked her before taking the pill with the water bottle she kept on her side of the bed, before laying back down.

"How are you not mad at Selina?" Genuinely, she was curious. Harley had to at least be a little pissed that one of their (Pam would hate to admit) closest friends would leave them to get screwed over like that. It was completely unnecessary and, despite the fact they were all criminals, wrong. Not to mention, Batman finding them had been entirely Selina's fault anyway. Batman tracked Selina down to find them. Frowning deeply, Harley seemed to think. "I get why you're upset with her, I do, but... I dunno, Red, everything turned out all right. We got outta the asylum, we moved here. There just ain't a reason ta hold a grudge against her." Then her powder blue eyes widened and she added, "Not that your reasons for being mad still ain't valid or anythin', it's just my view on the matter." 

These words sunk into Pam's mind, filing themselves away for later analysis, when her head wasn't throbbing painfully. Instead of furthering the discussion, Pam asked, "Is she sleeping on the couch?" Harley nodded, "Yeah. And, she really does wanna help us, I've been talkin' ta her, obviously. Can we keep 'er, Red?" 

Funny. Pam rolled her eyes. "The second she steps out of line I'm kicking her ass onto a bus headed for Gotham." 

"Classy."

Another roll of her eyes was Pam's response. 

—

Selina, in honesty, was getting very, very annoyed with Pamela. It was getting tiring to walk into whatever room Pam was in just to have Pam leave said room as quickly as possible upon Selina's arrival. It was stupid and childish. "Harley," Selina tried to control the hiss in her voice, "Could you tell your girlfriend to act like an adult? Even you're more of an adult than she is right now, and you're crying over a cartoon show." 

"It's a sad episode!" Harley whined in defense. "Even with that, you're still more of an adult than she is." Selina dropped next to Harley and crossed her arms across her chest tightly. "What's wrong with her?" Pam, in Selina's opinion, needed to stop herself, as she was being incredibly ridiculous and unreasonable. She wouldn't even talk to Selina, and that's a non-starter. Pausing her cartoon, Harley pulled her legs onto the couch and sat cross-legged so she could look at Selina, "Ya know perfectly well Pam knows how ta hold a grudge." 

That didn't help. "Your point?" Selina was beginning to regret coming all this way to help them out, considering Pam was being rather disrespectful. 

Looking unimpressed with Selina, Harley clarified, "My point is, ya did something that set her off, and she usually doesn't forgive and forget very easily. Ya gotta either give 'er time, or talk to her." 

"You're not blind, Harl, you can see perfectly well Pam runs off whenever I come near her," Selina reminded her with a deadpanned expression, "I don't know how you expect me to talk to her." 

"Then do the first option, at least 'til she's cooled her jets a little bit. Then go for it."

"And how long will that take?" Her voice was sour.

"Who knows? It's Poison Ivy we're talking about." 

"Oh, for God's sake." 

With that, the conversation was over. For a few minutes, Selina watched Harley's cartoon with her, before standing and saying, "I'm going out." Her short hair was already brushed and she had nice clothing on, so all she did was grab her purse, slip on her shoes and make her way out the front door and into the outside. The fresh air felt better than being inside the house, where, thanks to Pam, it felt stressful and unwelcoming. Selina breathed in the cool air, appreciating it, before she walked down the steps and headed for... Anywhere else, actually.

National City, honestly, was better than Gotham in a lot of ways. The most simplest reason; it looked nicer. It actually had some color to it, while Gotham was dark and dingy. 

Selina liked it. 

After a few minutes of walking she came across a metal bench with an real estate ad with some man smiling, and Selina sat down, pulling out her phone as she did. Feeling irritated with her current living situation, and feeling rather unhappy with the lack of friendliness around here, she texted Bruce. At least talking to the Bat gave her someone to tease; Pam was being a baby and Harley was way too over emotional to mess with right now, even though Harley looking like a balloon was exactly something to make jokes about. 

But, frankly, Pamela would try and murder her again if she made Harley cry.

He responded and she smiled to herself.

—

"Babe, I hate ta go against ya, but this is really gettin' ridiculous." If Selina wasn't going to confront Pam, Harley was. Simple as that. Pamela didn't seem content with this, "I thought you weren't going to bug me about this," she pinched the bridge of her nose and pursed her bright red lips as she continued, "I'm really not interested in hearing this spiel, okay?"

Ha, no. Harley narrowed her eyes. Pam was not getting off that easy. "Selina's apologized, like, a million times and Selina never apologizes for anything, ever." This was true. Selina actually was putting forth effort. This made Harley very happy; her closest friends could be stubborn asses and that was annoying as all hell. When they tried to be nice, it was sweet. "She really wants to get back on ya good side." 

A sickeningly sweet smile painted itself of Pamela's lips, "Oh, so she can stab us both in the back again and we won't ever see it coming?" This woman was unbearable sometimes. "Don't think so, Harls." 

Why were friends so difficult? Better question, why was playing the part of the good ol' moral compass so difficult? And draining. Agitating. Tiring. "She's really tryin' here, dude. We really do all fuck up time ta time. You piss people the fuck off with those sexy perfumes a' yours all the time, like Eddie that one time, and Selina does her dumb shit all the time and pisses all of us off, I," her least favorite topic, "act dumb and chit chat it up about the Joker, thus pissing you and Selina off. We all always do stupid stuff, so, can you not act like you're on your period twenty-four-seven? Thanks." 

Now, Pam looked like she wanted to kick a hole through a wall. "Selina doesn't deserve my forgiveness." 

"Um...? Hate ta break it ta ya, Pammy, but she's been takin' better care of me than you have since she got here, considering you keep just locking yaself in our room." This comment really seemed to get on Pam's nerve. Good, Harley thought. It was true, after all. "You don't know what you're talking about," Pam stated like she thought that would end this conversation, and she proceeded to water her plants, since she had oh-so-rudely been interrupted. 

"Really?" Harley rolled her eyes, "Jesus, Pam. It wouldn't kill ya to at least talk to the freaking cat, now would it?" 

"Stop talking to me like I'm a child."

"If you're gonna act like a kid, I'm gonna treat ya like one." 

"Harley, leave me alone."

Harley glared at Pam, before shaking her head and leaving the room. Selina was pretty damn lucky she was their friend, because this was ridiculous.


	28. 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *aaron burr voice*  
> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN  
> THE MOMENT YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to dear theodosia on repeat while writing this tbh   
> There are references
> 
> Anyway have fun reading and thank y'all for reading, commenting, leaving kudos ily you all <3!!!

When she wanted to, Harley really could hold a grudge. 

Pam came up behind Harley, and wrapped her arms around the woman. She pressed her face into Harley's neck, kissing the spot below her ear. It was one of Harley's weak spots. Pam knew every single one of those feel-good spots. 

"I'm still mad at ya, lady." Harley said, though her voice gave her away; Pam could practically hear the smile in her tone. "You sure?" She asked, before placing another short kiss in that spot before sucking on it gently, causing Harley to let out a small yelp. Scoffing, Harley complained, "Pammy, how d'ya expect me ta stay mad at ya when ya do that?" When Pam laughed lightly at this, Harley added, "I'm supposed ta be mad at ya, not wantin' ta throw ya on the bed." That, Pam wouldn't mind. 

Lifting her hand to run her fingers through Harley's short hair, Pam hummed. "Forgive me?" Pam thought Harley's hair was nice. It really did look good on Harley, no matter how much the clown denied it. Yes, it was different from the usual pigtails and color (or colors) Pam was used to, but Harley still looked absolutely beautiful.

"As soon as you forgive Kitty." Harley was serious again, and Pam sighed. "Harl, honestly I—"

She was cut off as Harley gave a sharp gasp as she bent over and clutched her stomach. Her face was twisted into a pained expression, she made grunting noises like she were hurting greatly, and she reached with one hand to the wall to steady herself. Blinking, Pam put a hand on Harley's back, "Are you okay?" If Harley was hurt for some reason Pam was going to literally go out and murder somebody. Watch out, National City. "What's wrong?"

After a moment, Harley took a deep breath and stood straight, shaking her head and laughing it off, "Lucy's just kickin' a little hard. I'm good, I'm good." Her laugh definitely sounded strained, Pam noticed.

Not entirely convinced, Pam grabbed Harley's hand and squeezed it lightly, "Are you sure? It is around my estimated time for her birth, and that seemed a little... More painful than a kick." Instead of taking this into consideration, Harley denied the suggestion, "Nah, just a kick, Pam. I'm tellin' ya, I'm a-okay." Frowning deeper, Pam kept prying, "Harley, it really could be contractions. Has this happened at all today other than right now?" 

Shrugging, Harley nodded, "Yeah, woke me up this morning." Pam opened her mouth to speak, but Harley cut her off, "Babe, for real, I'm good. Don't worry your pretty little head." 

Instead of arguing further, Pam kissed her girlfriend on the lips before heading straight for her room that she'd created into a lab for herself. Walking down the hall, she muttered to herself quietly, little nothings about how Harley was being ridiculous. Once she reached her lab, she turned the silver knob and pushed the door open, walked in, and shut in behind her. Then she locked it. 

Immediately she dropped into the cushy chair in front of her desk and opened her notebooks. Frankly, Pam was not, in fact, an idiot. She was a genius. She had common sense. She had logic. And it barely required any of those things to figure out Harley was not just experiencing some kicking from her baby. Harley could deny it all she pleased, but Pam was fully aware Harley was having contractions. 

At the thought, Pam dropped her pen on the table and rested her head in her hands, her elbows on the table's surface. "Oh my god," She mumbled, rubbing her temples. It had been months since she'd found out about Harley's pregnancy, she had had all those months to prepare for the baby, but still, now that it would be so soon... Pam didn't know how to feel. She was Poison Ivy, the last thing she should be doing is raising a baby. Harley? Sure, even the childish clown was better suited than Pam was. Pam was poisonous, she hated humanity, she was trouble as hell, she was basically everything that screamed 'do not be a parent'. 

It was very much too late to get cold feet, though, so Pam picked her pen back up and began writing. She figured should have enough time to make something for Harley to ease the pain she'd have when it was time.

—

Really, truly, Harley didn't want to think her baby would be coming. She wanted the baby to come, yes, but she didn't want to freak everyone out if what she was feeling really was just kicking. But, shit, these hurt a lot. Like... She wanted to cry every single time. It. Fucking. Hurt. So she was sort of freaked out, to put it simply. 

Going into the kitchen, walking around like she was barely awake, her body sagging and her arms hanging limply, she opened the cupboards and grabbed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Admittedly, the main reason she liked that cereal was because of the stupid commercials she always saw for it. As she got herself a red-and-black bowl (Pam claimed she hadn't noticed the colors were Harley's signature colors. Harley knew she was full of shit.) and dumped a mountain of cereal into it and added a pool of milk, she grumbled little things to Selina who was seated at the counter. Selina didn't seem to be able to understand her jumbling mess of words, and didn't seem to really care if she did or not. 

Harley picked up her finished bowl of cereal to carry it over to where Selina sat so carefully, like it were the most precious thing she'd ever had. To Selina she probably looked like a psychopath, but in her mind her thoughts were focused on 'I swear to god if this baby decides to be a little shit when I am carrying this glass bowl full of shit I will throw Selina off a cliff' and the like. As she walked over to Selina, all seemed well.

And then Harley had dumped cereal and milk all over Selina as the pain hit her once again and she keeled over, sending the bowl flying. 

"What the f— Harley!" Selina yelled, prodding at her milk-soaked t-shirt like she would die were she to touch such a substance. "What's wrong with you?" She grimaced as she stood up from her seat, leaving her own bowl of cereal to get warm and soggy, and she pulled her t-shirt over her head and threw it across the room, leaving her in just her thankfully-not-soaked-bra. Harley inhaled, the pain fading, and sighed as Selina evidently realized something was actually wrong with her and she wrapped one arm around Harley's shoulders and held onto Harley's forearm with the other, to assist her. 

"What happened?" Selina asked, and Harley shook her head. She decided to start with, "I didn't wanna worry Pam, or you, for that matter, but I think Lucy—" but Selina cut her off, "Holy shit is that thing coming today?" 

Frowning deeply, Harley corrected, "Lucy." 

"Sure. Does Pam know?" 

"Nah, she asked but I said she was just kickin' pretty hard, and Pam kinda just sulked off and locked herself away so I dunno what—"

"I feel like you overhyped yourself, Selina." Pam's smooth voice drifted from the kitchen doorway, and the two turned to see Pam's gaze and frown focused on Selina's half-naked upper body. Even if it was making fun of Selina, Harley lit up at the fact Pam had spoken to Selina. This was the first she had. It was a start.

Catching this teasing, Selina let go of Harley and ran her hands down her waist to show herself off, "You know you want this." She winked at Pam, who rolled her bright green eyes, and said matter-of-factly, "You could use some work. I don't know why that Bruce Wayne is so into you."

Selina wiggled her eyebrows, "I'm too hot." Harley followed up, "Hot damn." Selina and Harley high-fived and Pam looked like she just cringed harder than she ever had in her lifetime. "Right... Harley, would you like to say something?" Pam tapped her fingertips on her bicep, her arms were crossed, showing she very obviously knew what Harley had to say but just felt like making Harley say it. At this Harley internally rolled her eyes. "Um... Baby, probably contractions going on right now, you're gonna be the PTA mom, I'm gonna be the fun mom, Selina's the cool aunt... That cover it?" 

"PTA—" Pam looked almost offended, but then shook her head, "That... Will suffice, I suppose."

"Ya gonna say I told ya so?" 

"Don't need to." Pam told her, before gaining a very professional appearance that didn't suit her words spoken, "Alright, I will get shit prepared, Harley, you just relax until it's time, alright? And, Selina... Be a dear and clean this," She motioned the the mess Harley had made, "whole thing up. And put on a shirt before you go touching my girlfriend." 

Shrugging, Selina raised her hands in defeat, "it's her fault. Your girlfriend got me wet." Upon realizing what that sounded like (because Pam raised an eyebrow and said something like "she has that affect on me, too"), she muttered to herself and walked away, traumatized. Harley laughed, before she grinned sheepishly as Pam walked over and looped their arms together. "Sorry, lamb." She said lamely, and Pam just sighed as she led Harley to the living room. "It's fine. One second," Harley watched as Pam rushed to the bathroom and then came back holding a darkly colored towel, and covered the couch with it. Chuckling, Pam apologized, "Sorry, but I'd rather your water break on that than on our nice couch." 

"The couch gets more love than me." Harley gave a thumbs up as she sat down and Pam playfully slapped her shoulder. 

—

It was a few hours before Harley's water broke, and Pam took her into her lab and set her on a makeshift bed that was surprisingly comfortable. Selina has followed, too. Harley hurt so fucking bad at this point she basically wanted to just die.

"Pam, Jesus fuck." She whined, "Please kill me, I beg you."

"Oh, honestly, you're fine." Pam reappeared at her side holding a small paper cup of some gross, thick liquid that made Harley gag at just the sight. "What the hell is tha—" She let out a wail at the sudden pain she felt. "I know you don't like shots, so here." Pam eased the cup to Harley's lips, "It'll help with the pain, baby." After a moment she finally coaxed Harley's mouth open, and Harley drank it with a grimace that was from both pain and disgust at the bitter taste. 

Humming contentedly, Pam set the cup to the side, and ran her fingers through Harley's hair gently, looking at her with such affection. This lasted only a moment before Harley started spewing cuss words at everyone and everything and Pam stepped back, turning to Selina. "Go sit with her, will you?" It was said as a request but it was very clearly an order. Selina slinked her way over to Harley's side and she knelt down on the floor, putting her hand on Harley's stomach in reassurance. Harley grabbed Selina's hand instead, and Selina's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her skull, "Damn, Harl—" She said, "You're fucking breaking my hand."

"This motherfucker is going ta murder my vagina I do not give a shit about your hand hon." Harley said in a single breath. "Gee thanks." 

Pam's voice rang with annoyance, "For god's sake, everyone, can y'all jus' focus on our situation?" Her slight southern accent slipping for just a moment made Harley want to laugh, but she was pretty sure if she laughed she might just die. 

"Can we hurry this the fuck up?" Harley asked, squeezing Selina's hand so hard she was sure every bone in it cracked. "Patience, dear..." Said Pam. "Fuuuuuuck." Harley moaned, and Pam quickly kissed her forehead in reassurance before going to the other end of the bed. 

—

It took so long for it to be over.

But, finally, it was, and Harley couldn't have been more relieved. Seriously, every single time she'd been beat up by the bat or whoever else combined didn't even come close to how much that had hurt. Her lower-half was still very much hurting and very sore, but still, she felt better now that it was done and through with.

She wanted see her daughter so bad. Her baby cried and it broke her heart. Pam had bluntly confirmed to Harley that she had been right; the baby was, indeed, a girl, and Harley, despite being so tired, had pumped her fist in the air and shouted 'CALLED IT'. Then Pam made a comment about cleaning Lucy up before letting Harley have her. Which, Harley was grateful for, but she was very impatient. For goodness sake, she'd just gone through the worst pain she'd ever felt, even with Pam's gross plant shit that eased the pain ever so slightly. The least she could ask for is just too be able to see her daughter pretty damn soon.

"You alright?" Selina asked, unusually quiet and gentle, as she gave Harley's hand a short squeeze. Harley still hadn't let go of her, though she apologized for killing her hand. "My body wants ta die," Harley told her with a strained laugh, "But, fuck, it's done, and whenever Pam gets done, we'll get ta see my daughter, and hey, I can lose all the weight I gained now. So, yeah, I'm pretty darn good." That was true. Just saying 'my daughter' brought a dorky, bright smile to her tired face. "That's good..." Said Selina, her tone drawling like she wasn't really quite sure what to say in this situation. That, Harley didn't mind. 

They were both silent for a moment, Harley relaxing and closing her eyes. She really was tired, and reasonably so. "Pamela needs to hurry," Selina commented, chuckling. "Jesus. She's slow as hell." 

As if on cue, Pam reappeared in the room, and walked over to Harley's side. "H—Here," She said simply, stuttering, her lips pursed like she were trying to hide her smile as she gave Lucy to Harley. Harley couldn't be happier to finally see her baby, and to see Pam's adorable, flushed expression. Selina even tried to move closer to look at Lucy. 

Lucy was absolutely the best thing Harley had ever seen. Her little body was pudgy and she was fair-skinned of course, her head bald, and she looked at Harley a moment which revealed her lovely blue eyes. One of her little hands hit gently at Harley's shoulder, but she didn't mind a bit. Harley could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, see both Pam and Selina shooting each other looks, a silent apology and silent forgiveness. 

What to say to you? Harley thought to herself, her eyes burning from her tears and her tiredness from the ordeal she'd just gone through. "You outshine the morning sun, Lucy," She cooed to the little thing, though she was well aware she couldn't understand. "Pammy, Kitty, look a' her." 

"We see her, Harls." Pam laughed warmly, and Selina reached to set her fingertips on Lucy's chubby arm to show she was paying attention. "So, you're sticking with the name Lucy?" Harley nodded, "Yeah. Yeah." Pam hummed to show her contentment. 

Voice stuttering and almost whiny sounding, Harley sniffled, "I love her so much already, guys." 

Pamela leaned in, and kissed Harley on the lips. "Your daughter is lovely, Harley, like you." 

Her nose crinkling as she smiled, Harley laughed, snorting in an undignified way. "She's our daughter, honey." She emphasized 'our'. At this, Pam's face flushed dark red and she looked down at the floor with her green eyes wide, stuttering, "O-Oh, alright." Selina and Harley both laughed at the powerful Poison Ivy being turned into a flustered mess. "Hush," Pam told them, huffing in fake annoyance. Still chuckling, Selina grinned at Pam.

Harley had never been happier.


	29. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pam is a mom and Selina is confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones for u, Bruce/Selina shippers

"Pam," Harley groaned, shoving her face into Pam's neck as if it would magically let her sleep, "Why won't she shut up?" Lucy had been crying so much that night, and Pam, Harley, and Selina were all not getting any sleep at all with the ruckus. It baffled all of them, as Lucy had been a relatively quiet baby up until tonight. Her crying was nonstop and it was bottom-line annoying. She felt Pamela's sigh, as the botanist set her hand on Harley's back a moment to reassure her, before she slid away from Harley and off of their bed. The floors creaked loudly as she stood, which seemed to aggravate Lucy even more, and Harley smashed her face into the pillow, making a strangled noise. 

After pulling a long-sleeves shirt over her head and putting on a pair of gloves, since they all would rather she didn't accidentally poison the child, Pam went to the door. "I'll go see if I can stop her, Harls." Pam grumbled, leaving the room in a manner that suggested she'd rather throw herself out the window then go try to deal with the baby. Harley listened to the insistent crying, heard Pam and Selina make short conversation as Pam made her way to the baby's room. After a moment, Pam's footstep started again, signaling she was returning, and Lucy's cries were getting louder, nearer. Which was the last thing Harley wanted, she had a headache as it was. 

The door to Harley and Pamela's room opened again, and Pam stepped inside, holding Harley's daughter, and Harley looked at her tired expression with an annoyed one, "Why'd ya bring 'er in here, girl?" Though, Harley had noticed that Lucy's cries were becoming quieter since Pam had brought her in here. 

Not answering till she set Lucy next to Harley and then lay on the bed herself, her face to Harley and Lucy, Pam muttered, "Just let her lay with us for a bit. Maybe she'll calm down." Unconvinced, Harley raised an eyebrow. 

It took a few more minutes, but Lucy did completely quiet down, and then she fell asleep. 

"Oh thank god," Harley gasped quietly, "Why do kids cry so much?"

Smirking a little, Pam answered, "She inherited it from you, I swear." 

"I cry over cartoons, at least that's a reason." Harley retorted, sticking her tongue out. "She's cryin' for nothin'!" Pam hummed her response, before running her fingertips over the dark fuzzy hair that had grown on Lucy's little head, like she'd sometimes do with Harley's hair. She was smiling, just a little bit, the corners of her mouth barely curving up, as she looked at Lucy, despite her tiredness and annoyance at the girl. This made Harley laugh quietly, "You're too cute, Pam. Stop it." 

"Cute, you say?" Pam asked, as she stopped running her fingers over Lucy's hair as Lucy grabbed at her finger in her sleep. "Um, yeah. You're being a total mom and also you have on my sweatshirt and it's great." Pamela looked at the sweatshirt she had pulled on, which apparently was Harley's, as it was decorated with cartoon kittens. "I'm like actually about to cry over how cute you are." 

"There you go with crying again."

"Oh my god," Harley rolled her eyes, reaching over Lucy and smacking Pam playfully on the arm. "Anyway, I think most people would absolutely die if they knew the oh-so-scary Poison Ivy was being such a cute, loving, pleasant mom." 

"Poison Ivy and Pamela Isley are different," Pam reminded her, "And I think they'd be more concerned and scared for the child more than anything." 

"Well, screw 'em. You're hella cute and I'm hella gay." 

Laughing quietly, Pam rolled her eyes, "What the hell, Harl?" Harley stuck her tongue out in response.

—

It was pretty enjoyable to see how much of a mom Pamela was. 

Harley found it really cute—Pam was cute enough already, but Pam being so loving towards her daughter? Seriously. The. Cutest. Thing.

The plant lady often took over taking care of Lucy, even when it was Harley or Selina's turn (they made a schedule for helping out with the kid, per Pam's suggestion, so it was pretty ironic she just took over). Neither of them really minded. Pam had also went out at some point while Harley wasn't looking and came back with about a dozen baby clothes that had the pattern of Harley's jester outfit that she had found at some nerd's store. Harley would often go wandering into Lucy's room only to find Pam holding Lucy and talking to her in the gentle way of hers. 

The clown and Selina watched Pam, who was in the kitchen, from the living room. She was trying to coax a spoon of baby food that was really just gross mushed up carrots and cooing gently to the baby, so quietly neither Harley or Selina could make out her words. But her tone was sweet, incredibly sweet. "Selina, please tell me you think P.I. being like this," she motioned to Pamela and Lucy with the wave of her hand, "Is the funniest thing ever."

Shrugging, Selina nodded, "Honestly, yeah." 

"S'pose we shouldn't be very surprised?" Harley questioned aloud, tapping her fingers on her thigh, "I mean, you've seen how she talks to her plants. Woman's like total mom material." Such was accurate. Pam did call her plants her babies, after all. The most surprising thing about this was how loving she was being towards a, emphasis, human baby. "Guess so." Selina replied.

Frowning, Harley nudged Selina, "Are ya okay?" Selina shook Harley's hand off her shoulder and nodded. "Mhmm." 

"Ya don't seem like yaself." 

"I'm good."

—

Everything was pretty alright around here lately. Harley was happy, Pam was happy, clearly Lucy was pretty dang happy, but... Harley thought something seemed off about Selina. The cat looked like she had something on her mind that was really stressing her out, and she didn't seem like herself the past week or so. She was less social to them than usual, or... Something. When she wasn't helping either Harley or Pam or both with Lucy, she just sat in the living room and stared at her phone like she were looking at the most important thing in the world, something worth more than any diamond she'd stolen from a museum. And every time Harley walked by her she would put her phone down, look at Harley like she was interrupting something important, than go back to staring when Harley was away. It was weird. 

Harley had had enough.

"Kitty, get up, you and me are goin' out." Harley announced to the Catwoman, lounging on the couch as always. Selina looked up at her, not looking very interested, but answered with, "What are you talking about, Harley?"

Snapping her fingers to try and get Selina up, Harley said, "You. Me. Whatever you wanna do, let's go. Pam's gonna watch Luce. As always." 

Yawning, Selina raised an eyebrow, "I'd rather stay home." Glaring, Harley walked over and grabbed Selina's hand, yanking her to her feet, "Not an option. Let's gooo." Selina grumbled, but raised her hand in defeat, before heading towards the hall closet to get clothes and shoes. "Ha," Harley said to herself. She was pleasantly surprised with how easily Selina gave in. The tigress had become a house cat. 

Harley waited by the front door for Selina, as she was already dressed in a white, sleeveless button-up shirt and white shorts, and her hair was brushed. She was good to go. 

Eventually, Selina reappeared, wearing a black tank top and black leggings and her signature goggles on her head. "You ready ta go, Sel?" In response, Selina shrugged, nodded, and pulled her purse off of a hook by the front door. "See ya, Pammy!" Harley yelled into the house, before grabbing Selina's hand and dragging her out the door. "So where d'ya wanna go?" She asked, moving her grip from Selina's hand to Selina's bicep, and there she stayed, clinging to Selina.

"You told me we were going somewhere very short-notice, Harls." Selina pointed out. "Um... Can we just go to a coffee place or something? I'm not really feeling like doing anything all that exciting." 

Harley grinned at her, "Sure! Before ya got here, Pammy and I went to this place a couple 'a blocks away, and the pastries were, like, super yummy." 

Selina chuckled.

When they got to the coffee shop, Selina got a very plain coffee and Harley got some kind of frappé with about a million different things in it per her request. Harley could tell Selina looked almost sickened by the amount of sugar in the thing. The face Selina had made Harley laugh. Then they sat down at a table in the corner, and they were silent for a few minutes, before Harley opened her mouth. "Selina?"

Quirking her eyebrow, Selina looked at Harley expectantly, urging her to continue.

"Is somethin' buggin' ya? Pammy and I are kinda worried. Don't tell her I told you she's worried about you."

"I'm good, Harl." Selina said, lifting her coffee cup to her lips, before her eyes went wide and she made a face because of how hot it was. 

Frowning, Harley prodded, "Does it have ta do with when ya went back ta Gotham a couple'a days after Lucy was born?" It added up, at least in Harley's mind. Selina came back from Gotham acting weird. And, "You still haven't told us why ya went back there." 

Shrugging, Selina took the lid off her coffee for it to cool a little. "Really, dude, I'm okay. It was just... Business." 

Still unconvinced, Harley reached across the table and set her hand on Selina's giving a squeeze. "I know something's up. Please tell me, Kitty?" Her voice held a tone of begging, but she really didn't care. She wasn't above begging. It was a very effective strategy, usually. 

After a second of fiddling with Harley's hand, Selina caved, "I went back because Bruce Wayne asked me to." 

This got Harley's interest, "The playboy billionaire asked ya ta come visit?" Her expression was quizzical, and Selina nodded, "You know very well I have a thing with him, sometimes, Harley."

That was true. Harley knew Selina had sex with the guy a few times (lucky her, Bruce Wayne was a stud), but she didn't know why he'd ask for her to come visit, or why Selina even would go visit. Harley didn't figure Selina was actually, like, into the billionaire. "Continue," Harley urged.

"So, I went, because he was really cryptic about why and, y'know, curiosity and cats kind of go together. I get to his mansion, talk to his butler, Alfred, for a few minutes waiting for Bruce. Alfred seemed like something was funny, like he knew something I didn't. I didn't think a lot of it, Al is something else. But, anyway, Bruce finally shows up, says he wants to talk to me— I figure he's just gonna give me some big talk on why I should go straight, again—" At this Harley raised an eyebrow. "—He knows I'm Catwoman," Selina notified her. Harley was rather shocked that Bruce Wayne wouldn't turn her into that Gordon guy. They seemed to be friends. 

Selina continued, "But, uh, yeah, not even close. The idiot pulls out an expensive ass ring—dude's rich, you can imagine—and proposes to me." 

"Wait," Harley processed this last part, a wide grin appearing on her face, "He proposed ta ya?!" This was said very, very loudly and half the people in the shop turned to stare at them. Harley flipped them all off, glared, and they all turned away, probably getting the hint she wasn't above murder. "Hoooly shit, Kitty, Bruce flippin' Wayne proposed?! Ta you?!" 

"Say it again and try to sound less shocked someone's interested in me." Selina grumbled.

"It's not that— I just— I thought you and him were just like a screw-once-in-a-while thing. Ya never told me ya were actually in a relationship with him!" 

"It's more complicated than that, kid." 

"What did you say?!" Harley was practically bouncing in her chair. 

Shrugging, Selina looked at her coffee rather than Harley, "Nothing. I just left. He's actually mentioned it before, a few times, but he actually went and proposed... Jesus. I don't even know how I feel about Bruce." Then, her face went sour, "Dude, his butler actually suggested that I have commitment issues. Maybe I just don't love the stupid guy, Alfred. Jeez."

Scoffing, Harley waved her hand, "Selina, no offense, but ya have said a lot that ya just 'don't do commitment'. Girl, ya gotta figure ya shit out." 

"Who's side are you on? Anyway, I... I dunno. Bruce is so annoying, and he's a smart ass, and he thinks he's better than anyone, and he gets on my last nerve. Plus he's the biggest goody-goody in Gotham."

This was interjected with, "Can't be more of a goody-goody than the Bat." At that, Selina laughed and mumbled, "You have no idea." 

Harley ignored that. "Funny how you're sayin' all that like its bad, but ya sound like ya love it." 

"Shut up. Bruce texted me one time since that, and all it said was 'think about it.'. Haven't responded to that either. Hopefully he'll forget he asked." 

"Ya think he's gonna forget he proposed to Catwoman? I don't think anyone would forget that."

"I'm turning the spotlight onto you. How about you and Pam?" 

Quizzically, Harley tilted her head, "What?" 

"You two are gross. You're like, the most in love people in the world. It's sick, dude, really, but..." Selina trailed for a second, drinking her coffee, before continuing, "I know you really wanted to marry Joker, that was like your life wish," Again she paused, this time to study Harley's face to make sure talking of the Joker wasn't going to send Harley spiraling. "Which is terrible, but... So... Don't know if you just wanted that with him, but have you and Pam ever thought about it?" 

Harley answered, "I wouldn't be opposed to marrying her, that's for sure, I mean... Have you seen the lady? Mm." Selina fake-gagged, whispering, "Like I said, gross." Harley flipped her off before continuing, "Can you imagine Poison Ivy getting married? I don't think she'd want to, really. And this whole daughter situation is already a lot. Honestly, Pam's only helpin' 'cause she has too, since I'm such a mess." 

"I can imagine her marrying you," Selina laughed,"Anyone else? Hell no... But, no, Harl. Pam's helping you because she loves you, and she clearly loves Lucy too. You and I both know if she didn't want to help, she wouldn't be helping." 

"I guess. But why'd ya have ta go and turn this on me? We were talking about your thing." 

Shaking her head, Selina sighed, "Because I don't know what the hell i'm gonna do, and I was curious about you and Pamela. We're both a mess, aren't we?" Harley laughed with her, "Total messes." 

"Seriously, though, I think you and Pam should talk about it." Selina said with a wink. "You've been practically married since you met."

Harley retorted, "I think you should think long and hard about Mr. Playboy before turning him down. Never considered ya might love him, but it adds up, I suppose." 

Selina smiled a little.


	30. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess who shows up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like supergirl ok

Lucy was perfect. Sure, she was loud, and messy, and could be a real pain in the neck, but at the end of the day those were all things Pamela did enjoy about Harley, and with Lucy it wasn't any different. Pamela had been so worried about Lucy's existence; worried that she might be reminded of the Joker whenever she saw Lucy, worried she wouldn't be enough for Lucy and Harley.. Harley really did deserve the world, and Pam always wanted Harley to be happy. Pam figured she'd be absolute bullshit when Lucy came around and she wouldn't be good enough to be in Harley's little family. 

It turned out the opposite of all those things. Pamela loved Lucy so much, and she wasn't reminded of him. Lucy was Lucy, she's not the Joker, and she's not just the byproduct of a bad thing. Lucy was beautiful, and if anything, Pam's reminded of how much she loves Harley every time she sees Lucy. In addition, Pam was doing fairly well with this mother thing, she thought. 

Pamela snuck away from Harley and Selina, and into Lucy's room. 

"Hi, sweetie," She said, picking up Lucy from her crib, then sitting down in the chair they had put in the room, which creaked and groaned just the slightest bit. Lucy's response was, of course, just babbling noises, absolute gibberish, but Pam enjoyed it anyway, despite it being absolutely impossible to understand. "...You know I love you, right?" Pam asked, thinking it funny she was asking this little baby a question she couldn't really answer or understand, yet she was asking anyway. Lucy grabbed at Pam's red curly hair, and tugged on it like it were the most interesting thing in the world. To a baby, it probably was. "I do," Pam stated, trying to nudge away Lucy's little hand from her hair. For a baby Lucy could really pull. It felt like Lucy were going to tear the red curls straight from Pamela's scalp.

"I don't know what you and your mother did to me, Lucy." Pam said after a moment of trying to get her hair free. She didn't win that. "I'm way more human than I'd like to admit, thanks to her. And now, you, too. I love you and Harley so much," She laughed a little, "I don't know why I'm talking to you about this, you can't understand a word I'm saying, but... I really hope I can be enough for you, okay?"

Remembering her life before Jason Woodrue had turned her into this pained her every time it came into her mind. Constant neglect from her parents before the incident and after they were disgusted with her and wanted nothing to do with her. 

"My parents were awful, and I'm an awful person, too, so... Apple doesn't fall far from the tree—Thank God your mother isn't here, if she knew I made a plant pun she would laugh for ten years straight—but I'm sorry if I end up being horrible for you. I don't want you to have to deal with anything like them— You deserve the world, sweetie..." 

Lucy just giggled at Pam and kept tangling her hand in Pam's hair. 

"First of all, I think my heart just broke because that was the sweetest and saddest thing I've ever heard." Pam stiffened at Harley's voice, and the sound of Harley's footsteps coming up behind her. Harley dropped in the chair next to the one Pam's sat in, and set her hand on Pam's shoulder. "Babe, I think talking ta me about your family is more effective than tellin' a baby." 

Rolling her eyes, Pam stared at Lucy rather than Harley, "I wasn't talking about my family. I was apologizing in advance because I don't want her or you to hate me." 

Harley scoffed, but it was soft and lighthearted, making sure Pam was aware she wasn't really annoyed, "Pammy, c'mon. You're far from being awful. You're fricken adorable, and sweet, and nice, and strong, and holy shit I love you."

Pam glared at her, "Language, Harls. If Lucy's first words are cuss words I swear to god—" 

Harley exaggeratedly pointed her finger at Pam, wide eyed, "See! Right there! You are the definition of mom!" After Pam sighed, Harley shrugged, then leaned as close as she could to Pam and lay her head on the botanist's shoulder. "Really, honey, trust me. You're more than enough for us. You're perfect, and we both love you. Just 'cause your godawful parents were like that doesn't mean you are. They can suck my— they can fight me." Harley changed her choice of words when Pam gave a warning glare. 

"I suppose." Pam answered, kissing the top of Harley's head. 

"I'm serious, Pamela. And remember you promised to talk to me when ya ain't feeling good." Harley scolded, tilting her head to pout at Pam. "I know, I know. I'm good, really, Harls."

A grin then spread on Harley's face, "By the way, I'm never letting you live down that plant pun."

Under her breath, Pam cursed, and Harley laughed. "Harley?" Pam asked, and Harley hummed in response, to which Pam took as a sign to continue. "Would you mind if I got a job? Nothing big or anything, just that flower shop a few streets away? I'd like to work, and since we can't exactly go back to being super villains at the moment..." As small as a flower shop was for work, those years ago when Pamela had gotten a job at S.T.A.R. hadn't gone too well, so it probably wasn't a good plan to work somewhere like that. Besides, she was perfectly satisfied caring for plants at a flower shop. All that worried her was that maybe Harley wouldn't want her to, since Lucy was in their lives and could be a handful. 

A wide smile planted itself on Harley's face, "Why would I mind? Go for it, babe! Kitty and I can take care 'a Luce." The tone of Harley's voice revealed to Pam that the clown was happy Pam wanted to work, and that the reason it made her happy was because she knew Pam loved working, not because it meant they'd be getting a little more money or something selfish like that. Pam really did love Harley. She still wasn't used to it. But, still, it made a smile come on Pam's lips as she nodded her thanks. 

Abruptly standing (and startling Pam with the suddenness of the movement), Harley stretched her arm above her head, the popping sound loud, before lowering it. "Ya wanna go on a walk with me n' Lucy?" She asked Pam, who shook her head, "No thank you. I'll get dinner started." The mention of dinner made Harley's eyes go wide and she over exaggeratedly pumped a fist in the air. Pam started, so Harley explained, "I love your cooking," and shrugged, before holding her hands out for Pam to give her the baby. Pam complied, passing Lucy over to Harley, after placing a short kiss on her head. She then stood, placed a kiss on Harley's cheek, and went for the kitchen. At the doorway, though, she glanced at them and told them to be safe, before continuing.

Harley, holding Lucy, headed for the front door. Once there, she carefully put Lucy into the green stroller they'd bought, and gave her the fuzzy, blue blanket she loved so much for whatever reason. Then, Harley slipped on her tennis shoes. "Bye, y'all!" She called into the house. Selina lifted a hand in a wave and Pam yelled goodbye back. Harley opened the door and pushed the stroller outside, closed the door behind her, and started on their walk. 

"Where ya wanna go, Luce?" Harley asked, despite knowing Lucy couldn't answer that. "I dunno either. You're at the age where ya can do literally nothing but sit there. Grow up already, kiddo, just a little bit." 

No response. Figures.

"Humph, okay." In thought, Harley hummed, tapping the stroller with her fingertips. "We can go to the park and make fun of kids when they fall down, sound good?" Babbling noises. "Don't judge me, I'm a criminal and have to get my kicks in somehow." Harley defended herself against the gibberish apparently flooded with judgement. 

It took about five minutes to get to the closest park, and Harley stopped the stroller next to a metal bench. She lifted Lucy from it, who still clung to her blanket, and sat on the bench with her. "I can't wait until ya can actually have conversations. Then ya can help me win arguments with Selina and Pam. I'm always right, remember that." Lucy, in response, whacked Harley in the face with her curled fist. Harley blinked in surprise. "...I'm taking that as you agreeing." 

Harley sat in silence after that, watching Lucy tug at her shirt and make those noises. 

Everything was very calm, until a woman with blonde hair and glasses half-walked half-ran up to them, almost spilling the coffee and dropping the bag she was holding in the process. Harley looked at her with her eyebrow raised. The girl started to speak, looking a little concerned, or nervous, "Hi, I'm Kara— Not to alarm you or anything, but I think that man over there has been watching you." 

Furrowing her eyebrows, Harley looked around, "What man—" Then she saw, across the street, in the shadows of a building, a person looking at them. The fact someone was staring at them, though bothersome, wasn't what bothered Harley the most. 

His face, though hidden by the shadows, had an obvious grin, the white of his teeth standing out against the dark. It was a familiar grin. HIS grin. 

Harley's heart felt like it stopped, and she clutched Lucy closer to her chest. Keep it together, Harl, she told herself. 

The girl—Kara—continued, "If you want I can call the police, or just help you get you home..." 

Her eyes not leaving him, Harley stood, "Y—Yeah, I guess." She put Lucy in the stroller, and still kept her eyes on him. "Yes to what?" Kara asked, and Harley immediately clarified, "No police. Wouldn't mind ya coming with me though," She smiled as wide as she could, of course not as wide as his, however. She didn't know Kara but, hell, she wanted anyone to be with her as long as it kept him away. Supergirl could be arresting her for god's sake, as long as it kept him away from Lucy and her. Kara did sort of look like Supergirl... Huh.

"Okay," Kara said, "We should go out the other exit,"

Harley nodded as she started pushing Lucy's stroller to the other side of the park. Her heart was pounding against her rib cage. There was no way the Joker was here. He had to still be in Arkham. There was no way he could have known she was here, it's not like he was on good terms with Penguin or anyone who would have that information. It couldn't be him. But that was his smile, and now, as she spared a glance his way, she could've sworn she'd caught a glimpse of green hair. 

All she had to do right now was keep it together and get home. 

"...What's your name, if you don't mind me asking?" The girl asked from next to Harley. Harley said the first name that popped into her head, "Holly. This is Lucy... Also, you can out your coffee in the stroller's cup holder if you want." Kara looked like she was going to drop everything still.

Kara nodded, placing her coffee in the cup holder, then waving at Lucy with her free hand and smiling a little. "Are you sure you don't want to call the police?" 

"He ain't following us." At least Harley hoped he wasn't. "I'm fine." She really wasn't fine. The second she got home and Lucy was safe she was going to break. 

Clearly unsure, but respectful for Harley's decision, Kara accepted this. 

It felt like hours before they reached Harley's home, though it was only twenty minutes or so. Harley cleared her throat, "Thanks, Kara."

"No problem, and, uh," Kara pulled a napkin from the bag she had and a pen from her pocket. She scribbled onto the white napkin, before handing it to Harley. "If you need anything, call me, okay? Like, if that guy shows up again or something." Reluctantly, Harley took the white sheet with numbers scratched onto it, and thanked Kara again, before going inside. 

Harley picked Lucy up from the stroller and carried her to her room, ignoring Pam's cheerful greeting from the kitchen and Selina's greeting from the living room. Once in there, she placed Lucy in her crib, laid her blanket atop her, and left. 

"Harley?" Pam's voice from the kitchen came again, sounding worried since Harley had ignored both hellos. 

The clown didn't feel like saying anything. Instead of responding, she just sat on the floor in the hallway. She didn't feel like walking anywhere, or doing anything. She just felt like disappearing. The thought that he may have found them filled her with emptiness. 

Selina and Pam were talking to each other, to quiet for Harley to understand. Then she heard their footsteps and they were in the hall with her. "Are you okay?" Selina asked, once they both saw her sitting against the wall, staring at the floor.

"Did the Joker escape Arkham?" Harley asked. From the corner of her eye she saw Selina and Pam spare worried glances at each other. "...A couple of days ago, it was on the news." Pam informed, before adding, "Harley, if you're thinking about going back—"

"I hate him." Harley interrupted. "He—" Great. She was crying now. She just wanted away from him. She just wanted to be with Pam and Selina and Lucy. Why did he have to ruin her life every chance he got? 

The next thing Harley knew, Pam and Selina were both with her, one on either side of her. Pam slid her arm around Harley's back, and Selina placed her hand on Harley's thigh. "What happened, baby?" Pam's voice was so gentle and caring, and Harley wanted to answer but she couldn't form words past the sudden sobs escaping her lips, and instead she just pressed her face into Pam's chest and clung to her waist. Lucy must've heard the commotion because she started crying too.

Pam spoke again, but this time to Selina. "Can you go calm Lucy down?"

"Yeah, no problem." Selina said quietly, and Harley heard her stand and scurry into Lucy's room. "Harley, tell me what's wrong." Pam rubbed circles onto Harley's back in an attempt to calm her, but Harley still shook, still cried. Breath catching in her throat, Harley pulled away from Pam to regain her oxygen, and once she had, she finally said something. "I wanna die, Ivy. Why can't he just leave me alone?" 

Lips pulling tight, Pam grabbed Harley's hand, "Don't even think that, Harleen. What the hell happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but will harley actually have a brain and tell pam what's going on


	31. 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker before last chapter, and the sirens after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love everyone who reads this TBH thank y'all

Arkham was very boring when it came down to it. Even for the Joker, eventually pulling Riddler's strings, tricking Scarecrow, and pranking Two-Face got old. Especially since he couldn't have his normal tricks while in Arkham. He had to make do with things that wouldn't blow up or slice someone's ear off— so, boring stuff. Harley being gone and still fucking with that treehugger also got on his nerve, and he was on his last straw with that. Honestly he had expected the clown girl would have come running to break him free by now, but apparently miss Poison Ivy had Harley tricked into thinking she loves her good enough to make sure she'd stay. Ha. Harley really was simple minded. In summary, however, he was threw with this and it was about time he get himself out of this dump and go retrieve his property from Poison Ivy, who apparently didn't understand that he owned Harley and that it's very rude to take someone's things. 

As the guard who was escorting Joker to his cell, he had been in yet another unproductive session with Dr. Leland, was distracted, the Joker managed to snatch another guard's gun as they walked by him. Arkham should really work on their standards for the people they hire. Joker was no skilled pick-pocket and yet he'd gotten what he needed like it was nothing! Ha.

He raised the gun, which was awkward due to the cuffs restraining his wrists, and pointed it at the guard that escorted him once they reached his cell. "You know, I'd really hate to do this, you really were my favorite g— Whoops!" He pulled the trigger before the guard could comprehend what was really happening. Having the Joker himself pull a gun on you really isn't something that you get everyday, it must really be an honor. Ha. "Hm, hope you said goodbye to that oh-so-precious family of yours this morning." Joker told him in faux solemn, as he knelt down and got the keys from the guard's belt. Holding the proper silver key between his teeth, he managed to unlock the cuffs and free himself. "It was nice knowing you, buddy!" Again, he picked up his gun and scurried out of the cell, not hesitating to shoot any doctor, patient, orderly or guard he saw on the way, laughing to himself all the while.

—

Escaping Arkham was hardly a challenge. Shoot a few people, release a few psychos, blah blah blah. Once the task was done, Joker made his way to an old hideout. The one Harley had showed up in as Harleen Quinzel, he remembered. The one where he broke the beautiful, bright mind of Harleen Quinzel and freed her from her burdens, welcomed her into the freedom of insanity. Ha. He created her, what on earth did Poison Ivy have that could top that? 

He changed from the drab Arkham attire to his usual outfit; Purple tailcoat, orange bow, green acid-spraying flower, shiny black shoes... The usual. It made him feel like a human being again. Those Arkham uniforms were so dingy. Then, he gathered up some of his toys; playing cards with razor blades on the edges, the 'BANG' flag gun (for laughs! It was a real blast seeing the horror on someone's face, then seeing the look on their face when the 'BANG' flag pops out!), things like that. Just a few things to tide him over.

Next stop? Harley Quinn.

How did he know where to find the girl? The Penguin enjoys cash, and can easily be bribed. Joker has no want for riches. Therefore, it doesn't matter to him how much Pengy wants for the information. So, he paid up (okay, okay, maybe he slaughtered and threatened a few people instead of paying. So what?) and Penguin generously (forcibly, ha.) gave the information he required.

"So the kid's gone to National City?" 

—

Pamela heard Selina come into the living room, where she was, but she didn't bother open her eyes to acknowledge her entrance with a glance. Selina sat next to her, this evident by the cushions being pressed down further with their combined weight, and she asked, "What happened to her?" To this, Pam sighed and continued rubbing her temple. "She wouldn't tell me." Harley had, once she'd stopped crying, refused to tell Pam what had happened and instead claimed she was fine, then went to bed. Pam had a headache over this whole incident. "I don't know what could have happened, either."

Placing her hand on Pam's shoulder, Selina responded, "It might've just been her breaking down. Doesn't mean something happened." Then, after a second of silence, she added, "We can try to talk to her when she wakes up." Pam opened her eyes now and looked at Selina, offering a smile. Selina and she could be good friends when they wanted to be. 

After another moment of silence, Selina asked another question. "Did she anything at all? Jeez, I don't know how she expects us to help."

"Not really." Pam told her, shaking her head. 

"Great." 

—

In the morning, Pam and Selina were already up by the time Harley woke up. 

Selina and Pam, in the living room again, halted conversation as the girl passed them and headed for the kitchen. "Good morning, Harley." Pam called after her. "Mornin', Red 'n Kitty!" Harley yelled back.

"How are you?" Selina asked.

"Great!" Said Harley, as she started doing something in the kitchen and the sound of boxes being shoved around was heard for a moment. Pam and Selina looked at each other, unconvinced. They both stood and headed for the kitchen.

Evidently, Harley had decided to make herself a bowl of cereal. Pam and Selina stood in the doorway, avoiding Harley's mess she was already making. "Are you sure, darling?" Pam asked slowly. Although Harley did seem her usual perky self Pam and Selina both doubted she was magically fine. "A' course, why wouldn't I be?" Was Harley's, still bubbly, response.

It only took Harley a few minutes to finish her cereal, and then she stood, and came over to Pam and Selina. "I'm going out. See ya later." 

Pam could see small things most people probably wouldn't notice. She noticed how Harley's eyes held something between fear and sadness as she hugged Selina, and she noticed the hesitation Harley had even though it was only a brief second she lingered by Pam, holding onto her sleeve, after she kissed Pam's cheek. 

"Harley—" Pam started, but was cut off by Harley saying 'bye' and rushing out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where u going harl


	32. 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley goes to finish things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow sorry Harley

People viewed Harley Quinn as stupid, ignorant; just another blonde ditz. When people think 'Harley Quinn' they think 'Joker's girl'. But Harley was not stupid or ignorant— that part of her was an act. She was actually quite brilliant. On top of that, she was done and sick of being known as just the Joker's girlfriend, plaything, sidekick, hench-wench, and god knows what other things she's been called by civilians, GCPD officers, villains and heroes alike. She was Harley Quinn. She was Harleen Frances Quinzel. But she was not his and she never wanted to be his again. 

The Joker was horrible to her. He hit her, cut her, beat her half to death. From it, her body was covered in scars from him;—awful, ugly, white marks over her terribly pale skin, that fortunately weren't too obvious to the eye unless you really looked— and mind scarred as well—Her mind was torn apart by the Joker, and no matter what she did she still felt his fury in her mind, dreamt about him beating her, thought about going back so many countless times. And despite all the years thinking she deserved it, that she understood it, that she was okay with it, she knew she didn't deserve it, and she knew it was far from okay. It was disgusting and horrible and she was marked for the long run.

Harley had made a choice. She chose to leave him. She chose to stay with Pamela, the woman who really cared for her and really loved her. The woman who treated her like a human being and never hurt her. She chose to move on. Yet, just as she was beginning to feel free, to feel happy, she saw his horrid smile in the park. Here she was, having moved her entire life to National City, having had her child, and she was so, so happy, but then he came back. 

The sadness replaced itself with emptiness.

The emptiness soon filled with an emotion she didn't often have. Anger. She hated him. 

That night she didn't sleep, she couldn't possibly. If she were to close her eyes she'd only see his laughing smile. Instead she stared pointlessly at Pamela's face. She'd studied Pamela's features closely in the dark room, the only light being that of the dim moon shining through the window. She'd paid attention to the vibrant green hue of her skin, looked at how her perfect eyebrows sometimes twitched and lips quirked as she dreamed, looked at how she clung to Harley, paid attention to how her grip would tighten ever-so-slightly on Harley's arm every once in a while and listened to her soft breathing. Harley loved Pamela with all her heart. She loved how peaceful the fierce Poison Ivy was then. She thought of Poison Ivy's raging eyes, a frightening vibrant green, to most people, in comparison to how her green eyes instead were filled with love when she looked at Harley.

Harley couldn't explain how much she wished she had met Pam before she met the Joker. Thoughts of how maybe, just maybe, her life might be different if she had. 

This woman loved her. The Joker didn't love her, no matter how much she had given to him, he never did truly love her. 

In the morning, when Pamela stirred, Harley shut her eyes quickly and pretended to be sleeping. She wasn't ready to leave the safety of their bedroom just yet. She was still thinking. Pam sat up when she awoke, stretched her arm above her head, and then Harley could feel her eyes on her. The next thing she knew, she could feel Pam's lips on her cheek in a brief kiss, before Pam's weight on the bed disappeared and her footsteps were heard walking away. Harley loved her so, so much. 

But the Joker couldn't stand to have his plaything with another person, that she knew. The Joker would never be permanently imprisoned and he would never be killed by the Batman at this rate. Which meant Harley would never get a break. The Joker got what he wanted. And if the Joker wanted her, he got her. 

At least, that's how it was in the past. This time would be different. 

To herself, she sighed and quietly whispered to the dark, empty room, "If ya want something done, ya have ta do it yourself." 

Harley was not about to let him ruin her life again. She was happy here, with Pamela and Selina and Lucy. She was not going to let him hurt her or her little family. She was going to finish it. 

Eventually, she had settled her mind. She stood, took a deep breath, and went to the closet. From her pajamas she changed into some normal, everyday clothes. She grabbed the gun from where they had hid it in the back of the closet and his it beneath her clothes. Then she exited the bedroom, and went for the kitchen, feeling Pam and Selina's eyes on her. She told herself to keep it cool and act like she was fine, like everything was fine. "Good morning, Harley." Pamela's gorgeous voice called from where she was with Selina. God, Harley loved her. "Mornin', Red and Kitty!" She kept her voice level, kept it in her bubbly, Brooklyn accent. The accent was one of the things she thought made the Joker not love her. 

Next, Selina asked, "How are you?"

Still, she kept her cool, taking a knife from the holder and sliding it into her hoodie's pocket. "Great!" From the cabinet she grabbed a box of cereal, knocking over several other boxes, and went to make herself a bowl of cereal as Pam and Selina came into the kitchen. Harley pursed her lips. It was obvious how concerned and confused the two women were. They kept glancing at each other. "Are you sure, darling?" Asked Pam. "A' course, why wouldn't I be?" 

She ate her cereal, and pretended like they weren't watching her. Studying her carefully. They didn't need to know anything. She was going to finish this cereal, and go and hunt. 

"Im going out," Harley announced, once she finished and stood. She left her bowl by the sink. Going over to her friends, her heart felt like it stopped a moment. She wrapped her arms around Selina's body in a tight hug, and felt the tears threatening to spill. She loved Selina. The Catwoman was one of her only real friends, and despite the fact Selina would deny it, Selina really did care about her. Harley would miss her if this didn't work out. 

And Pamela. Harley grabbed Pam by the sleeve and kissed her cheek. Pamela was perfect. Pamela Lillian Isley was always so caring and loving and accepting to her. Harley hesitated a moment, thinking of saying something, but instead she just started for the front door. Pam called her name, but she didn't stop. She said her goodbye and slammed the door behind her. 

The weather was warm, with a light breeze, just enough to prevent the heat from being too much. The sky had hardly any clouds and the sun was still rising. It was nice out, and yet she felt cold and bitter.

If she was lucky, he would come to her and she could get this over with. 

Along the sidewalk she walked, swiftly, and her heart was pounding more and more by the second. Not from the walk, but from the growing fear making its home aside the anger. Truly, she wasn't sure she could stop the Joker. Truly, she didn't think she could come close. 

"Come on, you stupid clown..." Just as she was about to walk a different direction, something zipped down from above and pierced the front of her shoe. Startled, she jumped back, and fell to the pavement, eyes wide. As she regained herself, she realized... It was a Joker card. One of their special ones, with razor blades around the edges. Their was dried blood, turned brown now, across the front. Immediately she looked upwards.

There he was. He was so far away, sitting on the edge of a roof of an abandoned building and swinging his legs against the brick, like he wasn't scared of falling. The only way she knew it was him was because she could see the purple and the green, the colors only blobs from this distance. A lump formed in her throat. It really was him. The Joker. Mistah J. Puddin'. 

Harley ran to the entrance of the building, ducked under the torn away boards supposed to be covering the doorless frame, and ran inside. It took her a minute, but she found a stairwell, and she ran up them. He was going to pay. She was done playing his games. Her legs felt tired and jelly-like, or like they were as heavy as cement. Still, despite her needing to just collapse, she pressed on, and eventually she came to the door to the roof. This was it. She hadn't seen him for over a year. 

Her hand shook, but she pushed the door open and stepped back out into the outside, the wind much more forceful up her. 

He was there, waiting. Part of her had hoped he wouldn't be there. That it was all a hallucination, a dream, a nasty trick of the eye. But here he was; the Clown Prince of Crime; flesh, bone, and blood, and definitely real. He turned as he heard her, and that smile seemed to grow even wider. "It's been a while, Harley." The way he said her name made her stomach flop. His voice happy, though he was all but, the way her name rolled off his tongue like she was truly worthless, and even the way his voice made the 'r' sound silent disgusted her. She didn't want him to use her name. She didn't want him to be near her. 

"Joker." Her accent was gone as she said his name, replaced by the practiced voice she'd used while Harleen Quinzel. 

He almost seemed surprised, somewhere deep in him, that she hadn't used either of her nicknames for him. But still he grinned, and started striding slowly over to her, his hands out to the sides as he talked. "I was starting to get worried! But, of course, you'd never betray me, now would you?" 

Harley remained silent, watching him.

"Well, I had hoped you'd have learned by this point, but... Oh, well. We'll just have to fix you, won't we?" He cackled, his laugh loud and like a hyena. It was disgusting to her. "I'm not yours." She said blatantly, staring him straight in the eye. In the same eyes she'd looked at so lovingly for so long, the same eyes that were filled with hate as he hit her, the same eyes that she dreamt of. "We're done, Joker." 

His eyebrow quirked in anger and yet he kept his calm. "Ooh, Harleen Quinzel is taking the reins? Are we going to play psychiatrist again?"

"Shut up." It almost hurt Harley to say it to him. "I don't want you, I want you to leave." 

That definitely made him angry. Joker grabbed her roughly by the elbow, hard enough she let out a cry and she knew there would be finger-shaped bruises there later. He pulled her close to him, and leaned down just enough so they were face to face. She noticed things about him now she didn't before. She noticed the yellow of his teeth, how chapped his lips were, how empty his eyes could be. "Now, Pun'kin Pie, I think miss Pammy has been a little too successful with her pheromones this time around. You know she doesn't love you."

Harley shook her head as best as she could, "That's a lie." Pamela loved her. 

This made him laugh. "You think she has any need for someone like you? You're just around for her to fuck when things get rough. If you think you're good for anything more than that to her, you're even stupider than I thought!" Harley could picture his goons laughing so they wouldn't get killed. Harley hated that comment so much. Pam never fucked her, they made love and Pam was incredibly gentle and sweet. Fuck was not the right word for it. "She loves me." Harley said, aloud, voicing her thoughts. Though, she'd be lying if she claimed his comments weren't getting to her. There was that voice in her head telling her it's all true. 

"How awful of her to use your feelings like that." The Joker made a 'tsk'-ing sound, shaking his head. "My poor harlequin." His grip on her elbow fell away, and instead his hands cupped her cheeks, to which she didn't resist. She only stood. "I'll get you back to Gotham, and we can forget about horrible old Pammy."

He kissed her.

Harley didn't resist. No, instead she kissed him back. She ignored how disgusting his chapped lips felt on hers, ignored the feeling of him running his tongue along her teeth. It did feel kind of nice. It had been so long since she'd been with her Puddin'. And... What if Pam didn't really care about her? What even was there to care about? She was stupid, scarred, useless, and annoying. The Joker did put up with her. He always let her come back. She was broken all to hell and so was the Joker. The Joker understood her jokes and games. But...

Gingerly, she pulled away from him, but still he held her as close to him as he could and she clung to him, her glare replaced with a soft eyes and a cheesy grin. "Puddin'? Can I tell ya somethin'?" She asked, accent back, as she lowered one hand to her pocket.

"Of course, dear," Joker replied, drawling out the 'course'.

"Y'know, I really, really... Hate ya." With that, before he could react again, she pulled the kitchen knife from her hoodie and plugged it into his arm, cringing as he pushed her away from him and she landed on her back. Harley quickly regained herself and scrambled to her feet, still holding the knife that was going to be stained with his blood by the time she was done here. "Fuck off," She added.

The Joker lifted his hand away from where she'd stabbed him, and looked back at her with eyes that held nothing but fury. "Harley, you stupid bitch—" Harley barely avoided his slap, but was immediately backhanded by him. He grabbed her by the neck of her hoodie before she could react with one hand, and grabbed her wrist with the other, so she couldn't stab him again. "You need to get it through your thick skull, Harley; You belong to me." Harley winced at how tight his grasp on her wrist was becoming as he talked and how he'd moved his hand that was holding her shirt to her neck. "And I'm going to make sure you regret doing that." 

Harley spit on him. His grasp on her throat didn't falter, though he released her wrist just long enough to wipe the spit from his cheek, then grabbed her again. "You know, Harley," The Joker started, dragging her by the throat over to the edge of the roof, "I saw that thing you had at the park. I'd like to know why you had a child."

"Fuck off." 

He hummed, his lips curling in disgust. Joker had her so threateningly close to the edge she was becoming more and more terrified. He'd pushed her out that window all those years ago, which wasn't enjoyable, and she wasn't going to enjoy hearing the sound of her bones shattering as she hit the pavement any more than she did the first time. 

"You're truly an idiot, Harley." And with that comment, he saw the glint of the gun's metal hidden in her clothes and took her last defense.


	33. 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dang dang diggety dang de dang
> 
> Ok no seriously thank y'all for 200 kudos?? Ily??

If she was going to die, if these would be Harley's last minutes alive, she was glad, if anything, that she at least got to tell the Joker what she thought before she did take her final breath of air. At least she could tell him she hated him, truly despised the man, for all he had done to her. His fingers curled around her neck, hard enough to bruise and make it a little harder to breathe, but not enough to choke her completely, it only reminded her of all of the abuse. There had been fingertip shaped marks in that exact spot countless times before and here it was again. 

Though Harley could accept the thought of death, she already missed Pamela, Selina and Lucy. She couldn't just leave Selina and Pamela, and she couldn't let her daughter grow up without her. She loved all of them so much, and the thought of being away from then perms steely absolutely pained her. 

"Why are you like this?" Harley asked, not thinking through, but rather just blurting the question she'd been asking herself since she had gained such a fascination for his mind even before she was a psychiatrist. Not missing a beat, the Joker answered with three words, "One bad day." Harley didn't respond to that, and instead said something different; "Why don't you love me?" It was strange how she hated him and yet it still hurt to know he never did love her. 

Such a question made him laugh, in his high, horrible way. "Oh, please. That would take far too long to list," He said, shaking his head and grinning, "I am a busy clown, you know. Places to be, people to kill." 

"How very," Harley didn't say anything else, but stared down at her shoes. It hurt to hear, no matter how many awful things he'd said about her over the years, it still hurt. 

The Joker didn't push her off the roof like she had begun wishing he would. Instead, he pulled her away from the ledge and dropped her onto the roof's floor. Harley didn't even cry out as he swung his foot into her flat stomach, just under her ribcage, and her body filled with pain. The emptiness had filled her again. She had no weapons and she had no chance of beating the Joker in a hand-to-hand fight. She couldn't run. It seemed pointless to try anything. It was over, in her eyes. She lost, as always. The Joker kicked her again, this time in the shoulder, and then he muttered, "You could have simply come with me, Harley. This is your fault." 

"It's not my fault you're a psychopathic dick." That earned a little more than a kick. Instead of kicking her, the Joker knelt next to her head, and brought out her kitchen knife he'd confiscated. He brought the blade into her mouth and held it against the corner of her mouth, and pressed hard enough to nick it but not yet did he slash a smile onto her pretty face. 

Harley drowned out his drawl as he spoke to her then, and instead waited a moment before reacting without much thought. She kneed him right in the crotch, his fault for leaning over her, as hard as she possibly could in the position they were in. The surprise and pain of the hit caused the Joker to jerk his hand, and slit clean through the right side of her mouth, before recoiling and yelling curses. It hurt like all hell, the knife going through her flesh, and feeling the warm blood running down her chin, and down her neck. Tears fell past her eyes, but she kept her mouth shut and ran past him, to where he'd thrown her gun to the concrete. She grabbed it, the metal almost slick against the blood on her hand from touching her face, and cocked it. Harley pointed it words the Joker as she got to his feet, taking in a deep breath, and placing her finger on the trigger. 

"You're gonna leave National City, and you're never gonna come near me or my friends again." She ordered, her voice shaking and every word proving to be painful from the slash in her mouth. "Or I'll blow your brains out, and believe me, ya deserve it. Ya had no right to do what you've done ta me, and ya still don't. Go. The hell. Away."

"You're making demands? Bats is rubbing off on you." The Joker chuckled, his laugh sounding high and strained from the kick to his crotch. Harley would've laughed if she didn't hurt so bad. "You've never gotten this far out of line, Harl. If I didn't know better I might think you were serious!" 

"I'm dead serious," She warned. "Leave, don't come back." 

Unconvinced, the Joker began to walk over to her, stride slow, "You won't do it, Harley, you don't have the guts." 

"Take another step and you'll find out, Puddin'." The nickname was said with venom, and she tightened her hold on the gun, and steadied her aim. Harley was scared, and angry, and in pain, and so much more, but she felt like she was on a high right now and if she didn't get this the hell over with, she was going to lose her nerve.

To his stupidity, the Joker took another step.

The trigger was pulled, the sound of the gunshot loud and making her eardrums throb. Not a second later, her ex-boyfriend clutched his bleeding hip, grinning in an insanely amused way for someone who had just been shot. He was amused she'd actually went on pulled the trigger on him. He was surprised she had. But, more than anything, he was pissed still. That was a warning shot. She'd give him another chance, like she'd done for him so many times, but this time, his chance was to leave and not get killed today. "Ya like that, baby?" She asked, sarcastically. 

"Of course," He laughed at her. "It's hilarious, because you're out of bullets." 

Harley furrowed her eyebrows, "No, I'm not."

He rolled his eyes, "Pull the trigger and you'll find out." 

So she did. And... Nothing. 

He was right.

Joker continued his walk to her, not in any hurry, it's not like she had any defense now.

Just as he was about to reach her, several thick vines wrapped around his limbs and pulled him to the ground, holding him there. Harley's eyes went wide, as she looked away from him and instead at the entrance to the building. 

There was Pamela, in more of a Poison Ivy state than Harley had seen her look in months; skin as green as it could possibly be, green eyes unnaturally bright and flashing with anger, leafy leotard on her body, and her hair a gorgeous, angry fire of red curls. Bottom-line, she was pissed to all hell, looking entirely ready to kick someone's ass. Next to her was Catwoman, looking equally pissed, but a little more low key. 

"Bitc—" The Joker started, but was cut off by Pam wrapping vines around his mouth to shut him up. "How'd ya guys find me?" Harley was surprised as all hell. 

Selina answered as Pam made her way over to the Joker, "A gunshot is a pretty obvious sign, kid." And then Selina joined Pam. Again, Harley opened her mouth, "Pam—"

"Stop talking." Pam said, voice low and calm in that scary way that means, actually, she's really, really mad. To the Joker she turned her attention, "You deserve to burn in hell. And trust me when I say I'm going to make you regret everything you ever did to Harley." She knelt next to him, "I'm not letting you get off easy with a quick death. You deserve to know how much it hurts. I'm going to crush every bone in your body, one by one, you—"

"Share, Ivy." Selina purred from next to her, "You don't get all the fun of making this jackass regret life." 

Considering this, Pamela nodded at Selina, "Fine. You can claw his filthy eyes out of his skull." Selina smirked, "Sounds good to me." 

Harley was an odd combination of relief and scared shitless. By her girlfriend, mostly. "Guys—" But again she was cut off, by Pam, "I told you to stop talking." Then she looked at Harley and softened just to say, "Because of your mouth." Then she went back to stone-cold Poison Ivy and, true to her word, had vines curl all around Joker's left arm, and then, out of nowhere, the sickening snap was heard as she broke it. 

And... Harley wasn't going to just standby and witness it. Hell no. This was what she needed. She put herself between Pam, Selina and Joker. "Lay off, Pammy." 

Pam and Selina both looked at each other, before Selina spoke, "Harley, what are you—"

"Do either of you ladies have something like a knife?" Harley had no clue where her kitchen knife she had brought went. Oh well. The holder would look a little off from now on. Cautiously, Selina gave her one. 

Then, the clown girl spun on her heel and knelt next to the Joker's face. Her fingers ran through his messy, green hair, catching on the short tangles, as she looked at him. "I really did love you, but... Eh. See ya in hell, and thanks for the smile, Puddin'." She grinned at him painfully, before slitting his throat. It sickened her to do. She wasn't over him, not completely. But it was a choice; kill the clown, or let the clown get a hold of Lucy. And the creep was not going anywhere near her daughter. 

Harley leaned back and sat on her heels, watching him writhe, the blood streaming down the side of his neck, and hearing his sputtering be muffled by Pam's vines.

Gotham would be shocked to hear the person who finally offed the Joker wasn't Batman, or even another criminal, one bigger than her, but rather her, Harley Quinn, the Joker's girl.

Selina and Pam sat with her, on either side of her. Selina took Harley's hand in her own, and Pamela put her arm around Harley as the clown laid her head on her shoulder. "Damn," Whispered Selina, looking at his bleeding corpse, tangled in vines. Pam took a deep breath, holding Harley close to her. Harley could practically feel how proud Pam was, that she would actually do that. That she did do it. Voicing those thoughts, Pam said lowly, but not angrily, "You really killed him."

"Us or him." Harley said simply, referring to herself, Pam, Selina, and Lucy. "Chose us for the first time, I see." Pam chuckled, and Selina laughed too, "Good going, girl. Promise we won't disappoint you."

As Harley was about to respond, they heard something behind them. The three stood in sequence and turned, to see the one and only Supergirl, standing aways from them. "Great," Selina mumbled. "Lay off," Harley warned in a whisper. 

Supergirl's looked from Pam, to Selina, to the Joker, and then to Harley, and when her eyes locked on Harley's, her's widened. It was like a look of recognition, but Harley was practically unrecognizable with her hair and normal clothes. It didn't make sense that Supergirl would know her. Though, the hero did look weirdly familiar, like Harley had seen her lately...

Nah.

"You going to arrest us, Supergirl?" Selina drawled, bored, and mocking. 

Supergirl's eyes still locked on Harley, she looked like she were thinking hard. When she did speak, she said, "Just go. And get her help," She referred to Harley's bruises and bleeding... Everything. Supergirl's voice was super familiar, too. Weird. Maybe if she had glasses... No. 

Pam and Selina didn't wait another second. It's not everyday you get let off for murder. The two dragged Harley away.

—

"I could sleep for three years straight," Harley groaned, placing about six different ice packs to different parts of her half-naked body. She was too sore to even bother with putting on different, less blood-soaked clothes. Once they'd got home, Pam stitched up Harley's slit mouth as best as she could, made sure she didn't break or sprain anything, and then just iced everything else. "After that, you deserve a good rest." Pam said, brushing Harley's hair out of her face and behind her ear as she placed a kiss on Harley's temple. Selina scoffed, "No kidding." The three were all in Pam and Harley's bedroom; Harley laying flat on the bed to easily keep ice packs staying on her, and Pam and Selina sitting on the edge, Pam next to Harley's head and Selina down by her feet. 

Selina grinned, "Good work, Harley, really." 

"Thanks, couldn't have done it without ya two, though... Thank both of ya, a lot, by the way." Harley muttered, closing her eyes. "He was gonna kill me."

After a moment, Pam directed her voice to Selina, and asked, "Can you go make sure Lucy gets to sleep?" Catching the suggestion Pam wanted alone time with Harley, Selina shrugged, smiled at Harley, and went away, shutting the bedroom door behind her.

Pam pursed her lips, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Dunno." Harley admitted. "Is it bad I miss him? Kinda?"

Shaking her head a little stiffly, Pam denied, "You did it and that's what matters. He had what was coming to him." 

"My mouth isn't going ta heal, is it?" Harley asked, though it was more of a statement than anything. "I hurt like shit right now, and I'm going ta have his fucking smile for the rest of my life. Do ya know how much I hate about myself? Im covered in scars, that remind me of him, I got all these tattoos of him, and now I have his permanent grin." 

Pam gripped Harley's hand, "You didn't deserve all he did to you. But I love you still, and you're still absolutely perfect even with that," She looked to Harley's stitched mouth, "The scars, and the tattoos."

"Well, I hate them all," Harley muttered. "I just killed my ex-boyfriend, so that issue's gone, but I'm stuck with these ugly motherfuckers." 

The botanist sighed. Then, she told Harley to scoot over. Harley complied, and managed to push herself to one side to make more room on the bed. Pam kissed the bruises on Harley's throat, "I'm so proud of you." Harley rolled her eyes, but Pam continued, kissing every bruise that lined her sore waist and arms. She kissed the thick white scars on Harley's middle and shoulders, and the thin, faded ones lining Harley's thighs and wrists. She even paid attention to all the tattoos Harley had. 

Harley crossed her arms as Pam relaxed next to her, "You're such a dork, Pammy." But she was smiling and blushing red and murmured, "Thank ya."

"I'm really proud of you, baby." Pam said. 

After a moment, Harley answered, "Me too."

Maybe now she could really move on.


	34. Chapter 34

Harley found she was having a hard time sleeping since she killed the Clown himself. Eyes would shut, she'd start to drift off, and then— BAM! There he was. Which always woke her up. 

"Pammy," She groaned, a minute after his grinning face invaded her mind. "Pammy, I'm bored." Which translated into 'I'm never going to sleep tonight, so please just stay up too'. "Play with me." Pam turned onto her other side, to face the wall and door rather than Harley, "Go to sleep. It's one in the morning." To this, Harley pouted, and she wrapped her arms around Pam's waist, and inched closer to her so she was spooning her. "Please," She whined into Pam's ear. Pam wasn't aware of Harley's shitty nightmares since that day, which Harley felt like keeping to herself, and probably just thought Harley was bored as all hell and trying to bug her. "Sleep." Pam grumbled. "I love you, but sleep."

Not giving up, Harley used one hand to push Pam's hair away, and she pressed her lips to Pam's bare neck. She planted a trail of kisses up the botanist's neck, and shifted closer to Pam so she could kiss on the spot below her ear. Pam started to squirm as Harley sucked gently on that spot, and she said, "Why the hell do you want to avoid sleep so bad?" 

"I want you to play with me, that's why." 

Sitting up and pulling away from Harley's grip, Pam reached to the nightstand next to the bed and switched on the lamp. Blinking away the sting of the sudden light from her eyes, Harley asked what Pam was doing. Pam, in response, just crawled on top of Harley and kissed her deeply. Harley would have celebrated, because, hell! Point Harley! Pam's lips remained locked on Harley's, prodding with her tongue, as she slid her hands up Harley's sides under her tank top. Her lips trailed to Harley's collarbone, and she sucked there gently until she got a moan from Harley. Then, she stopped altogether and got off of her. 

Harley, confused and now bordering on hot and bothered, sat straight up and looked at Pam like she had four heads. "What's your damage, Heather?" 

"First, my name's not Heather—"

"It's a reference, sweetie."

Pam pursed her lips, "Right... Anyway, I 'played' with you, now tell me what's going on with you." 

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Pam. I'm annoyed but also impressed," Harley said, clapping her hands together in a quiet applause. Then, she laid against Pam, her back against the botanist's chest, and Pam's arms around her. "It's nothing important. I've just been having a hard time sleeping since— ya know... Nightmares and stuff." Pam sighed through her nose, and Harley could feel it on her neck. "Why didn't you tell me? By now you should know how much I care about you." 

Chewing her lip, Harley mumbled, "I know, Red. Just... Not like it's the first time he's given me nightmares and all that, ha. You know that, all those times I showed up bleeding and bruised and broken, huh?"

In response, Pam hugged Harley closer to her, holding her tightly. "That part of our lives is over, thankfully." 

"Thankfully," Harley repeated, fingers twitching against Pam's arm as she asked, "Can you get Kitty?" As much as she hated to interrupt both Selina and Pam's sleep, she honestly thought she might feel better if she had both of them with her. Maybe she could sleep decently for the first time since that day. "Please," She added, voice sounding just close to desperate. Slowly, Pam slid away from Harley, and off the bed, "Of course, darling," She assured, to which Harley smiled to herself thankfully, "It might be a minute, Selina might try to scratch my eyes out for waking her." That got Harley to laugh, and the clown saw Pam's lips quirk into a smile; she'd been trying to get a laugh out of her. Then, with that, Pam exited, and Harley listened to the light thump of her footsteps as she went to Selina's room (Pam had kindly provided a room for Selina once she had forgiven the cat).

It scared her to be alone right now. Which was odd; she'd killed before and she'd probably do it again in her lifetime, and it'd be impossible for him to hurt her when he was that level of knocked out. Yet still she felt the guilt and still she felt like he were going to show up any minute. She'd be walking down the street, ignoring the stares at her stitched mouth, and she would see him, and a wave of panic would flood her until she realized a heartbeat later she was seeing things. She'd turn the corner into a different room and see him standing there, until she realized it was her mind screwing with her. 

The familiar feeling of fear was beginning to creep up her spine, just as Pamela arrived, this time with Selina at her heel, who looked exhausted; eyes half-closed and body sagging. "Move it, kiddo," Selina murmured to Harley as she jumped on the bed and crawled over Harley to lay next to her, followed by Pam who lay on the other side of Harley. "You're lucky I love you, or else I'd kick both of your asses for waking me up at four A.M." 

"It's one-thirty A.M." Pam corrected. Reaching across Harley's chest to smack Pam's shoulder, Selina muttered, "Regardless." Harley giggled to herself at Pam's sound of protest at being smacked by Selina. "Thanks for coming, Kitty," Harley told Selina, and Selina just made a sound close to a purr and snuggled close to Harley, Pam doing the same as she said, "Goodnight, Harl." 

Having Pam and Selina with her was a safe feeling. Having them cuddled against her reminded her the Joker was gone, he wouldn't ruin her life anymore. 

Once she did drift off, she didn't dream of him.

—

"Hey, Pammy, I'm going out," Harley informed her girlfriend as she pulled on a light jacket and slipped her feet into her shoes. Hearing this, Selina walked out of Lucy's room, holding the baby close to her chest, as she raised an eyebrow, "You're not going to do something incredibly stupid again, are you?" Rolling her eyes, Harley stuck her tongue out, to which Lucy mimicked. "No."

Pam laughed, though it was more of a low chuckle, "Good. Where are you going?" 

Harley's face lit up with a smile, "I'm gonna get coffee with this lady Kara—"

"Ivy's got competition," Selina said, the comment directed to Lucy, who just stared at Selina like she had eight heads. "You jealous, Ives?" That one was directed to Pam herself. Harley raised her middle finger to Selina, "Not like that, sweetie." 

Pam reached over and grabbed Harley's hand and lowered it, glaring all the while. "Don't do that in front of your daughter." 

"Our daughter," Harley corrected, locking hands with Pam and kissing her on the lips. Selina made a gagging noise and told Lucy she was sorry she had such gross mothers. "Anyway," Harley continued, sneakily flipping Selina off again by pretending to rub at her eye with the finger of choice, "Kara is basically the reason I knew Joker was here, so I kinda love the lady." Harley really, really was thankful for Kara being kind enough to warn her, and then walk her home. She couldn't think of many people who would do that, and Kara had looked like she was going somewhere and had taken up her valuable time to help Harley. Harley was very appreciative. Yesterday, she had called Kara and offered to pay her back.

"Jealous, Ivy?" Selina repeated. "Shut up, Selina." Pam glared at her, before turning attention back to Harley, green eyes becoming less vibrant. "Do you mind if I come along? Not... Not to wherever you're going with this Kara, but I have some errands to run. Mind?"

"A' course I don't mind. What'cha need?" Harley watched Pam have to think it over for a heartbeat, before answering quickly, "Stuff for my lab." Pam was really such a horrible liar, but Harley didn't call her out, and neither did Selina, if Selina even noticed the way Pam almost seemed nervous, with her lips drawn just a hair too tight, and eyebrows just barely tilted in a look of anxiousness. In fact, it seemed like Selina knew why Pam was like that. Harley made a mental note to investigate later. "Okey-dokey." Pam didn't answer to that, and simply started slipping on her shoes, as Selina said 'see you later' and Lucy lifted her tiny hand in what looked like a wave.

Once Pam had gotten her things together and slung her purse over her shoulder, Harley opened the front door for her and said with a cheesy grin, "After you," To which Pam rolled her eyes and walked outside, followed quickly by Harley. When the door was shut, Harley got next to Pam and grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers together. She watched the faint smile on Pam's lips and felt her own smile grow wider, if even possible. "You're so pretty, Red," She said, tone sounding, stupidly, like some teenage kid with a massive crush. "I know. And you, Harleen Quinzel," Pam said, pressing a kiss to Harley's cheekbone, "Are absolutely beautiful."

Harley couldn't help the blush that grew on her cheeks; being called beautiful by Poison-flippin-Ivy never failed to awe her. Anyone would nearly shit themselves if Poison Ivy called them beautiful, honestly. Even Selina, probably. "Ya give me way too much credit, girl. Look at yourself."

"Don't deny it, sweetie. I'll be reminding you of how gorgeous you are," She placed a kiss just above the stitching on Harley's mouth, "Until and after you believe me."

Harley rolled her eyes in good nature.

Pam just continued to smile at her, squeezing her hand, as she kept talking, "So, you hadn't said anything about this Kara woman until today. What exactly tied her into that situation?" Harley sighed and shook her head, "Man, Red, I'm real grateful for her. I went to the park with Lucy, as ya know, and Kara came up to us. She told me it looked like this guy was staring at me 'n Lucy, so I looked, and, yeah. Guess who was there? I guess she could tell I started freaking out, and then she offered ta walk me home, I told her not ta call the cops, and that's that. I'm very happy she did all that." 

"Tell her I said thank you." Said Pam, to which Harley nodded.

There was silence, Harley chewing on her lip as she watched Pam closely. Eventually she finally asked, "What are ya really getting?" The obviousness of Pam's body stiffing up at the question didn't go right past Harley's mind, no, she noticed it, and took a mental note of it. Of course, not to Harley's surprise, Pam played it off, "Ive told you what I'm getting. Things for my experiments; a few beakers, maybe some Petri dishes. All that." Scoffing, Harlrey rebutted, "Pamela Lillian Isley, lying to me ain't gonna do y'all no good."

Pam raised a perfect eyebrow, "What voice was that supposed to be?"

"Um, a southern soccer mom." Harley said, as if it were obvious. "Get with the program. But— Anyway, seriously, what's up?" 

"I've told you." Pam stopped suddenly, almost causing Harley to fall. "Isn't this where you're meeting Kara?" She asked, motioning across the street to their favorite coffee shop, which unfortunately was superhero themed, but it had good drinks and pastries, so it made up for the poor taste in theme. Harley pouted at Pam, "Yeah, but this convo ain't over." 

"Sure. Have fun, darling." 

Harley stuck her tongue out at Pam, before making her way across the street and entering the building, listening to the bell shove the door chime. She made sure to take a second to sneakily place her chewed gum on the poster of Batman hanging by the door, right smack on his face. Her eyes flicked around the place, before settling on Kara, and she bounded over to the girl. She practically threw herself into the seat across from Kara, and judging by Kara's wide eyes and how much she jumped, she startled Kara. "Hey!" She grinned, internally laughing at how Kara seemed surprised at how upbeat and bubbly she was. 

Kara smiled back. "Hi... Nice to see you again, Holly— under better circumstances. Last time wasn't that... Great." The blonde's cheeks were practically on fire under the frames of her glasses, and Harley found the girls nervousness rather endearing. It made her giggle aloud. "Yeah," She agreed, and Kara seemed to relax a little bit. "My girlfriend says thank you, by the way. I'm hella thankful, too, girl." Yes, she kept true to her word and thanked Kara for Pam, even if usually people don't go through with that just because they don't have to.

At the word 'girlfriend', Kara's looked curious, and Harley stiffened for a second, asking, "Ya aren't like, weird about that are ya? 'Cause, no offense, but if ya are this is gonna be hella awkward, I talk about her like, a lot."

Seemingly panicked Harley would think that, Kara sat straight and denied, "No! Of course not, I mean... It'd be pretty hypocritical if I was 'weird' about it." 

It was Harley's turn to be intrigued, and she leaned across the table with her eyebrows wiggling, "Who's the girl?" She asked, never ceasing her eyebrow wiggling. Kara laughed a little, "Haven't seen her in a while, actually. She... Lives in Gotham, she has her duties there and I have mine here. She got... Paralyzed a while back, so it's pretty understandable that she wouldn't wanna be making visits out of city anyway. It sucks but, you know." 

"Aw, I'm sorry. It's so shitty when ya aren't with someone ya love, I get that. My ex-boyfriend's kinda dead... To me. Dead to me. Ain't around me anymore." Harley internally high-fived herself for that wicked save. Kara's smiled turned a little sad, "Sorry." 

Shrugging, Harley leaned back into her seat. "This got sad real quick, dude."

She laughed again, adjusting her glasses on her nose, "It did. Who's your girlfri—"

The sentence wasn't finished before Harley's eyes lit up and she half-stood out of her seat, totally excited by this topic, "Kara, she's actually perfect! Her name is Pam, and she's seriously the sweetest woman I have ever met— and prettiest, too." Harley was sure if she was a cartoon character she'd have hearts for eyes right about now. "She's so perfect, and— DAMN, I'm gay." 

Kara seemed to be a lot more relaxed now, and she laughed again, sounding less strained this time, and her smile seemed a lot wider. Satisfied, Harley settled again, and crossed her arms, "That about sums it up." 

"Works for me," Kara nodded, and reciprocated the high-five Harley was offering. "Um... Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course!"

Kara fidgeted her hands as she asked, "What's your real name?"

If Harley was drinking water, she was pretty sure she would've spit it through her nose right then. "I told ya when we met, I'm Holly." Kara pursed her lips a moment, tapping her fingers on the table, before continuing, "I know that's not it, I... Harley Quinn?" 

Harley bit her lip so hard it started bleeding.

—

"Shit, Selina, I don't know!" Pam half-yelled into the cell phone (being friends with Selina who had a romantic-sexual thing going with the richest guy in Gotham had its perks) and didn't care about the stares she was getting. Selina grumbled something, before clearing her voice and saying, "I don't know how it's so hard to choose when you've known her for years. You don't even have to worry about the price, so it should be even easier!" 

Pamela gripped the phone tightly, using her other hand to pull at the hem of her shirt nervously, "Listen, asshole, don't pretend you could do any better." 

On the other end, Selina scoffed, loudly, "Really?" She said, voice laced thoroughly with sarcasm. "You think I, Catwoman, world famous cat burglar, don't know a thing or two about rings? Honey, I've stolen more rings than you've killed men." 

"That's a bit of an exaggeration. And if you're so good, why aren't you here helping me?" 

"It's your relationship, not mine, thanks." Selina told her, to which Pam wanted to slap the kitty. "Hey, if it makes you feel better, you're still super hot so even if this blows you'll probably be fine."

"Gee, you think I'm hot?" Pam asked with sarcastic shock. "I know I am."

"Yeah, I'd love to—" Pam hung up before Selina could go on a spiel over her Poison Ivy dreams that basically any person with a functioning sex drive probably had. 

She sighed through her nose. She was going to get this right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Barbara/Kara garbage so   
> Fight me


	35. 35

"Care to share your story?" Kara asked her, still sounding a bit nervous as she looked at Harley, who's jaw hadn't come back up from the floor since Kara had told her she knew her real identity. Harley attempted to gather herself, and, instead of answering Kara's question, asked one of her own, "How do ya— Who— How in the shit d'ya know... You're not going to rat me out, are ya?" There was a flash of suspicion, threat, and worry in Harley's blue eyes as she carefully watched the girl across from her. 

Shifting in her seat, Kara shook her head a little bit, "I had a suspicion. I... want to know why you're here, and... Just... Everything. " The way Kara's eyes were studying her reminded Harley of the countless times the Bat had eyed her in the same way those several more countless times she had tried to go straight; lack of trust, of suspicion, like she was definitely ready to put a stop to Harley's shenanigans were there any.

Releasing her breath she had unknowingly been holding, Harley gripped onto the table so hard she thought she'd snap her fingers clean off, and she spilled her story to Kara. At the very least she was going for some sympathy points that would convince Kara to—you know—not call the cops on her. If it got to it she would kick Kara's ass, but she really, really didn't want to. She told her how the Joker knocked her up, how Pamela had been so helpful and caring towards her and told Harley she'd help. She told her how they moved to National City to get away from the Joker after he'd been trying to contact her. How Selina showed up on their doorstep. How perfect everything was when Lucy was born, how much she just wanted to take care of her little family, how much she wanted to go straight and just live a normal life. She'd always wanted that, even when she was with the Joker. 

"Please, and believe me it sucks to be beggin', please don't rat me out ta nobody, Kara," Harley pleaded, "I haven't committed any crimes for over a year—'cept when I... Joker. But he was going to kill me and Lucy. I—I'm trying really hard here." 

Kara chewed her lip before responding, "From what I've heard, you've tried to go straight a lot of times before, and went right back to where you started."

"There's no reason for me ta go back to that shit. Joker's dead, and I have my daughter, and Pam, and Selina." Harley said, "Please, Kara." 

Taking a deep breath, Kara slid out of her seat and stood. "A friend of mine in Gotham said everyone should give you three a chance. That's one chance, just one. And... Honestly, you don't seem that terrible," She smiled gently, and then continued, "I'm friends with Supergirl—I don't recommend ruining your chance, Harley."

"Thank ya," Harley relaxed, practically sinking into her chair. Then... "Ya know, ya kinda look like Supergirl—"

"I get that a lot," Kara interrupted, "Uh... I really wouldn't mind hanging out sometime, as long as you really are a decent person now and won't try to murder me or something." 

Grinning up at her, Harley agreed, "Sounds good. We didn't get ta coffee this time 'round, after all."

Kara laughed a little, "Call me, then." 

—

Pam rubbed her temple insistently, Selina sitting next to her with a hand on her knee. "Girl, you're gonna be fine. Just get it over with."

"Is that your idea of comforting me? Are you kidding me, Selina?" Pam muttered, "You know Harley as well as I do; She's into big, stupid, romantic gestures." Which was true. Pam couldn't even begin to list all of the things Harley had made up in her mind over the years that were her ideas of how the perfect anything would be. And all of those ideas were over the top. 

"Then go big or go home. Simple." 

"I'd like to see you try to propose to someone like her." She swatted Selina's hand from her knee, "Or anyone at all. Bruce Wayne proposed to you, not the other way around. What do you know?" 

Selina pulled out her phone, "You want me to propose to him?"

"You already accepted his proposal—"

"Too late, I'm doing it," She tapped a few buttons on the screen, then hit speaker. The phone rang five times, before Bruce Wayne himself picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Brucie, my main bitch, marry me and get guaranteed sex whenever I'm in Gotham. Sound good?"

Sounding thoroughly confused, Bruce said, "Okay, wha—"

"Sounds good. Ta!" With that Selina hung up, and dropped her phone onto her lap from above her head, "Boom. Now, was that so difficult?"

Pam glared.

At this, Selina rolled her eyes and just set her hand right back where it was on Pam's knee, "Joking aside, Harley's really into you, Ivy," She supplied, "She's not going to just drop kick your ass if you don't spell out her name with fireworks or something. Plus, that ring is the shit." Twirling the ring—a silver band with a diamond in the middle and emeralds cut into the shape of leaves on either side—around her fingers, Pam said, "I know," She still sighed, "But even so, you know as well as I do she's left me before and she'd do it again." 

Huffing, Selina pulled Pam into a hug, though her arms were stiff like she'd rather not show affection towards Pam. Pam smirked to herself about it. "You're gonna be fine, Pammy. You're pretty damn close to Harley; you'll figure it out." After a second, Pam forfeited into the hug, wrapping her arms around Selina's waist. "...Thank you."

Right then, the front door burst open and Harley came in. "GUYS—" She caught sight of Selina and Pam hugging, and changed direction with what she was saying, "Aww, you're not tryna kill each other for once!" Immediately, Selina and Pam tore away from each other, and Pam hurriedly shoved the ring into her pants' pocket, then scoffed at Harley, "Actually, we were trying to strangle each other." 

"It was cute," Harley assured, parked Lucy's stroller by the couch, then bounded towards both of them like a happy dog and pulled both of them into a hug, "Can't believe ya didn't wait for me, though." She squeezed both of them until they both couldn't breathe. Once satisfied she let go, and sat herself right between them. "Anyway," Harley swung her purse off her shoulder and onto the table in front of them. From it she pulled a plastic shopping bag. "Okay, but guys, I got these for Lucy," She took out probably ten different variations of Wonder Woman baby shirts. 

Pam furrowed her eyebrows, "Why Wonder Woman?" 

Harley gawked at Pam, "First, it'd be a little suspicious if you, a lady who looks like Poison Ivy, was walking around with a baby wearing Poison Ivy shirts, same with me and kitty. Second, You know I love Wonder Woman." 

"No one knows you love Wonder Woman."

"She's pretty hot," Selina imputed her opinion, "I mean... Come on. She could take me any day." 

"Damn straight," Harley high-fived the cat. "Kitty gets it, Pam. Anyway, they're perfect and no one can tell me otherwise." Pam chuckled, "Okay. Kind of funny the kid being raised by three criminals is apparently going to have an entire wardrobe of superhero shirts, but okay." Then she hurried and asked before she could change her mind, "Harl, would you mind joining me in our room?" 

Smile brightening even more, if that was possible, Harley jumped up, dropping the Wonder Woman shirts on the table, "Sure, Red!" 

Less quickly than Harley, Pam stood, and gripped onto Harley's elbow as they headed for their room. Pam shot Selina a look when the cat whistled and told Harley to get some. 

Pam could feel her face burning, and God, was it embarrassing. When Pam really blushed, she blushed everywhere. Her cheeks, forehead, ears, neck, chest and shoulders were all flushed red. Harley clearly noticed, unfortunately, and when she sat herself on the edge of the bed she looked at Pam expectantly, "What's goin' on? Your face is gonna catch on fire at this point." Shaking her head as Pam climbed onto their bed, and scooted so she was behind Harley with her legs around the other woman as she started combing her fingers through Harley's hair. It had started growing out again since they'd cut it; it was past her shoulders now. Sitting behind Harley confirmed Harley wouldn't be able to see the redness of her face, so Pam was happy to be in this spot. "I love you," She said, not answering Harley's question. 

Pam could hear the giggle in her voice, "I love ya more, Red... Hey, your nickname suits ya even better now." Choosing to ignore the joke about her persistent blushing, Pam rebutted Harley's statement, "I love you plenty more, Harl. You're the most amazing human I've ever known," She had begun calling her babies to her, small flowers, and was braiding them into Harley's hair as she talked. The action gave her something to ground her. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but you deserve the world and I would do anything for you. I... Voicing feelings is hard, darling, forgive me." 

Harley lifted her hand to her mouth and over-exaggeratedly cleared her throat before saying, "Dr. Quinzel in the house. So, Pamela, what feelings are you trying to voice?" 

Rolling her eyes, Pam pushed Harley's braided hair to one side of her shoulders and ghosted her lips over Harley's bare neck. "How much I love you," She said, pressing her lips to her skin in a light, airy kiss. "I see," Harley was clearly trying to choke back a giggle, "Why don't you go ahead and try?"

"Mm, let's see..." Pam said, planting another kiss. "I love how optimistic and good you are, even after all that's happened to you. You're the strongest woman I know." Another kiss, "You're not like other humans. You don't ever call it quits; you stay with something no matter what, even if that wasn't in your favor sometimes. You don't give up on anything or anyone even if everything and everyone is against you." Another, this time Harley shivered slightly, "You're very beautiful. I hate to admit how much I feel like some teenager with a crush when I see you. You're gorgeous, physically and mentally, even with the flaws you may have, and I love you for those flaws." Once more, "I could keep going all week, Darling,"

"My diagnosis is— get your ass over here," Harley pointed in front of her, "So I can kiss ya, ya gay little shit." 

Pam took a deep breath, and taking her time she got off of the bed and knelt in front of Harley. She gave her clown a quick kiss on the tip of her nose, before holding both of her hands tightly, "Harley," 

Harley looked at her with that dopey grin of hers, and Pam felt her heart flutter. "Yeah, Pam-a-Lamb?" 

Now or never, Pam supposed. Her throat felt incredibly dry as she sat back on her heels and let go of Harley's hands to retrieve the ring from her pocket. "Harley Quinn, Harleen Frances Quinzel, would," She could see, from the corners of her eyes, the plants moving about the room, curling around her legs, the mass of emotions pounding in her chest causing their animation. "Would you... Marry me?" The words made her chest feel like it was going to explode, like her lips were bruised and chapped and hurt. What if Harley left her again? Being rejected would destroy her.

Harley's silence was what worried Pam. The woman covered her mouth with her hands and started at the ring with her blue eyes wide, wide, wide. Fat tears started rolling down her face not seconds later. 

"I—I know you've always wanted to get married someday, and," Fuck. Fuck. "I'm not extravagant and I don't really get how these things work, but— I love you," Her plants were curling uncomfortably tight around her legs, "and if you don't want to, with me, that's oka—" 

She was cut off, by Harley pushing herself off the bed and onto Pam, nearly knocking her over. Harley threw her arms around the redhead's neck so tightly, Pam was sure this would be the death of Poison Ivy, and she was planting so many kisses all over Pam's face, Pam wasn't sure what to do. She slipped her arms around Harley's waist in return and waited the kisses out. Once satisfied, Harley looked at Pam with the widest smile Pam had ever seen on the woman. "Pamela," Her voice was higher than usual, and it was adorable, "I love you so much, holy shit. I... I'm crying, babe, I love you so much. Oh my god." 

"I'm taking that as a yes?" Asked Pam, and Harley responded by kissing Pam on the lips so roughly it knocked Pam onto her back. Since Pam nearly dropped the ring upon being pushed to the floor, she grabbed Harley's hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. And, needless to say, it looked lovely on Harley.

"I love you," Pam whispered, leaning her head up to touch foreheads with Harley.

"Ya ain't just doin' this for me, right?" Harley asked, and Pam raised an eyebrow for her to clarify. "I mean, you WANT to marry me, right? Ya ain't just doin' it because I want to?" Pam chuckled, summing a stray daffodil to her fingertips, "Though I find human things very odd— nothing would make me happier than marrying you, Daffodil." Harley held the daffodil in the same hand as she had the ring on, and Pam wanted to laugh at how Harley's entire body was shaking with excitement. 

—

Selina eyed Pam and Harley's door as their voices called out.

"We might be awhile, Selina!" Came Pam's husky voice, followed by Harley higher voice saying, "We're gonna screw,"

"Harley!" 

"What? It's true." 

Sighing and shaking her head, though she was smiling, Selina looked down at Lucy's sleeping form in her arms. "Guess that means it went well," She told the little bundle that was Lucy, before standing up and heading for Lucy's stroller. She set the baby up, then headed out the front door. "Aunt Selina is saving your innocent ears from hearing your moms doing the do, you're welcome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all I want in my life   
> Is their marriage  
> Thanks


	36. 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Please tell me you don't seriously spend all ur time writing batman Fanfiction" --my mom

Everything was absolutely perfect in National City. It had been two years since Lucy was born, and she only got more and more perfect each day that passed, in Harley's opinion. She'd said her first word—which was 'mama', and she was referring to Pamela, and Harley was sure her fiancé was going to pass out, her eyes had went so wide and her cheeks had turned dark red and she didn't seem to breathe for a few minutes—, she'd started to walk, though still she stumbled a lot, and she was a perfectly happy kid. Kara had been true to her word and she and Harley did see each other fairly often—and every single time Harley cracked a joke about how Kara looked like Supergirl, she would get very defensive, which was pretty odd in Harley's opinion... But she didn't pay that much attention to it. Pam had, as she said she was going to, gotten a job at a flower shop in the city, and Harley missed her while she was at work, but she had Lucy and Selina stayed home with her most times. Selina had started visiting Gotham on most weekends. 

No one, asides from Kara, had caught on to the fact they were three known criminals, and every once in a while they'd see a gossip article in the newspaper or a talk show making up theories of where the three women had disappeared to. But no one really knew. Which was why Harley was even more surprised today than she usually would have been back when she was still involved in criminal activity.

Harley stepped out into the backyard for some fresh air. She sat down on one of the lawn chairs set outside, and she shut her eyes. It was sunny out, not a cloud in sight, and when she closed her eyes she could still see the orange light on her eyelids. Then the shadow of something, someone, cast over her and the orange turned into black. Confused, she opened her eyes to investigate.

She nearly had a heart attack.

Standing over her was none other than the big bad Batman— what the hell he was doing in National City, Harley had no idea. "Ms. Quinn," He said in greeting. She stuck to her seat and stared at him, "Been a while, Bats." She said, and he pulled his lips tighter, and she added, "I haven't fought anyone in a while, don't think it'd be a fair fight. Bet I'm pretty rusty." 

"You're serious about going straight this time," He observed, and she laughed, holding up her hand and flashing the silver ring in the sunlight, "Wouldn't say 'straight' is the right word for me. But yeah. I don't need ta go back to all that," 

"You're married?" He asked.

"Engaged," Harley corrected, sticking her tongue out at him. "To Poison Ivy herself, thank ya very much. Have a daughter, and your kitty cat's hangin' 'round here, too."

"You killed the Joker," Batman said next, and she stared at him with her brows furrowed. "Ya know it was me?" To this, Batman nodded, "The entire Justice League knows about that and your current whereabouts, and while most of them disagree with my decision not to bring you in, I have made sure you and your," He nodded towards the house, "Family are not bothered, so long as you really were going straight." 

Harley laughed a little, "Ya upset I killed him? He loved ya more than he loved me, I'm pretty sure. Wouldn't be surprised if the two of ya had somethin' going on."

After a moment of silence, the Bat answered, "I didn't want him to die. As you know, I want everyone to have a chance to redeem themselves." Harley resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his goody-goody hero crap. "But, as I would imagine, the murder was out of defense for the threat he posed to you and your daughter?" 

Harley simply nodded.

"Gotham seems a little better now that he's gone," Batman admitted, "But while I didn't wish him dead, I'm not particularly upset either. He's hurt a lot of people."

To this, Harley didn't answer.

"May I see her?" He asked, and Harley snapped her eyes back up to his, "What?"

"Your daughter," Batman clarified. Harley continued to stare, "Ya ain't gonna try anything, are ya?" He grunted, which Harley assumed was supposed to be a no. Hesitantly, she stood, and headed back for the house. She shut the door behind her, and quietly went into the living room to get Lucy, where she had been watching Adventure Time. The Sirens kept an eye on Lucy while she watched T.V., usually; they didn't want her to hear or see anything about Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy or Catwoman and think, hey! That's my family! What's up with that?

Lucy was asleep on the couch, her blanket falling off of her, and the T.V. remote and a toy Porsche with a tiny tutu on it were laying on the floor. She liked the idea of ballerina cars. Briefly Harley looked at her. She was lovely, in Harley's opinion; she had short, light brown hair (Blonde was not Harley's natural hair color), her blue eyes had been turning to a forest green, and her skin was still unnaturally pale, like Harley's, but... Harley figured there wasn't anything they could do about that. Both Harley and the Joker had been fucked up, now their daughter's skin looked like she'd been dunked in the same chemicals. Harley loved her still. 

Harley knelt next to the couch, and gently nudged Lucy's shoulder, "Wake up, baby," She whispered. "Come on," 

Lucy's eyes opened just a sliver, "Not yet, li'l longer?" She asked, voice tired sounding and Harley felt bad for waking her, but she shook her head, "Come on, Luce." 

Her daughter grumbled for a moment, but slid off the couch and onto her feet. She grabbed at Harley's hand and held onto her forefinger, and Harley led her to the backyard. It occurred to her how embarrassing it probably would be to introduce Lucy to Batman while Lucy was wearing a Wonder Woman shirt and dragging around a blanket covered in the bat symbol. Pam hated that blanket with a burning passion, while Harley didn't mind it. Lucy really liked Batman and Batgirl for some reason. Most of her likings were for the batfamily, ballerinas, and cars. She was a weird kid.

Lucy's eyes widened as she saw Batman standing there, and she raised her hand to point at him. "Bat," Her voice was practically a whisper, and Harley couldn't help but giggle. She let go of Harley's finger and ran over to him, nearly falling on her face more than once, and she grabbed his cape, which was blowing in front of him on one side. "Are ya real?" 

"Yes," Batman said, not moving to try and free his cape from the child's grip. Lucy grinned up at him and hugged his leg, far too short to reach anywhere else. Batman simply looked at her, then to Harley as she approached them. "Kid likes ya, dunno why." She motioned to the blanket piled at Lucy's feet. 

Batman smiled a little, and it was more than Harley had ever seen on his face, "Ironic."

Lucy parted from his leg, and stared up at him pointedly, "Where Batgirl?" 

"She's in Gotham," He said, and she kept talking, "I like the or— ori—"

"Original," Harley supplied. "Yeah," Lucy confirmed, "That Batgirl. She's a lot pretty 'n cool. Mommy said she's fough' her." Batman looked at Harley, and Harley grinned innocently. Batman looked like he was debating on something for a second, before he sat down in the grass so he was closer to eye-level with Lucy, with Harley following his example and sitting too. "Do you like Wonder Woman?" He asked and Lucy looked down at her own shirt before scoffing, "Kinda, but Mommy likes her lots more, I," She lowered her voice to what she considered a whisper, "Think Mommy has a crush on her, don' tell anyone that." Batman almost seemed entertained by this.

Harley butted in, "That's a total lie, Lucy, I do not have a thing for Wonder Woman." 

Lucy glared at her, "Mama said ya do, too." 

Harley looked straight at Lucy. "That's definitely not true, I do not have a crush on Wonder Woman, Aunt Selina does." 

"Sure, Mommy." 

"Lucy," Batman said to get the girl's attention again. "Are you happy here?" 

Lucy grinned wider, "Yeah! They all play wit' me, an' Mama's really smart and she's teaching me stuff, an' I watch T.B.—"

"T.V.," Harley translated. 

"—An' Mama said I can be the flower girl at their wedning,"

"Wedding," Harley translated again, to which Lucy glared at her. "Mommy," She whined, before looking at Batman with her head tilted to the side, "How d'ya know my Mommy? Tha's so cool." Eyes going wide, Harley slid her hand across her throat in that decapitating gesture to try and get Batman to, you know, maybe not tell her daughter that she and Pam were some of the villains that tried to murder her favorite heroes ever on a weekly basis. To her relief, Batman seemed to understand and he said, "We had a common enemy, when it came down to it."

Lucy's brows furrowed, "What's that mean?" 

Batman didn't answer that, and instead looked at Harley, "I'm assuming it's Isley she's been calling 'Mama'?" Harley nodded and added, "And kitty cat is her Aunt Selina. Who would've thought this would end up being the Sirens' lives?"

"Beats me." Batman said, and Harley kind of enjoyed how the Batman was when Harley wasn't trying to kill him and he had no reason to fight her and throw her in Arkham. Batman was about to say something, before Lucy started talking again, "Aunt Selina and Mommy says you're hot when they see you on T.V. It's gross."

"Lucy," Harley whined, "Please stop tellin' him all my crushes, thank ya." 

"She love Mama more than anyone else, though," Lucy added, "So don't get your hopes up, bub."

"She's definitely your kid." He said to Harley, and right as he did the creak of the back door opening was heard, along with Pam calling Harley's name as she and Selina came outside. "What the..." Selina said as she saw Batman sitting there on the ground with Lucy, and Harley standing up to deal with the new arrivals. Pam looked at Harley for answers, and Harley was glad that for once Pamela didn't just try to immediately commit murder. "He ain't come ta do anything wrong, Pam, it's cool." She assured. "And, Selina, I'm sure you couldn't care less that he's here." Selina shrugged, as Lucy's face lit up and she rushed over to Pam, and held her arms up to her, asking to be picked up. 

Pamela picked up Lucy and held her with one arm, "Hi, darling," She'd gotten incredibly used to wearing long sleeves and gloves around Lucy. Then, she and Selina made their way to Batman and Harley as quickly as they could. Batman stood as they came over. Pam slid her free arm around Harley's waist and protectively pulled her close to her as she glared up at Batman, nose crinkling in disgust. Selina, on the other hand, put a hand on Batman's chest and leaned her head up towards his, winking. "Haven't seen Batman in a while," She purred. Amused, Batman shook his head, "Good to see you. Aren't you engaged?"

"I'm a bad kitty, besides... Don't think he'll mind," She rebutted, and kissed him, before standing back with Pam, Harley and Lucy as Lucy whined about that being gross. 

"Pamela," He regarded the botanist, and Harley thought it was pretty adorable how tightly Pam was holding her and Lucy. "Batman," She replied, standing straighter and frowning deeply, "Don't suppose you plan on taking my family from me again?" Harley raised an eyebrow at that, and decided that was a conversation for her and Pam later. Batman kept his face straight, "Assuming that these three aren't something like what you did to Mr. Carlyle, no."

Pam's face remained sour, and Harley kissed her cheek in reassurance, though she had no clue what they were talking about, and judging by Selina's face, she had no clue either. "You seem to have what you wanted, Pamela," Batman observed, and she looked away, rolling her eyes, "Why are you here?" 

"I was wondering the same thing," Seconded Selina. 

"I can't believe all of you know Batman," Lucy knocked her fist lightly on Pam's chest, "An' no one told me."

"We certainly aren't friends," Pam muttered to Lucy, "Selina's awfully fond of him, though." 

Batman answered Pam's question then, "Just checking in." He told her, then said to the three women, "The Justice League and I will be keeping tabs on you. So long as you really are going straight, we won't have a problem. I believe you all do deserve a chance." 

Harley blinked, and Batman was gone. 

"Where he go?" Lucy demanded, and Harley chuckled, "No one's figured out how he does it, baby." 

Pam slid her arm away from Harley and set Lucy down, much to the child's dismay, and she turned to Selina with a glare, "Kindly tell your boyfriend to stay away from here, thank you." Lucy grabbed at Pam's skirt, trying to get Pam to pick her back up, but apparently gave up and started hitting Selina's knee to try and get her attention. "What can you do?" Selina said with a shrug, "I don't control that guy." 

Setting her hand on Pam's shoulder, Harley asked, "What were ya two talking about?" 

"Absolutely nothing."

Selina and Harley exchanged a look, before Selina reached down and took Lucy's hand, "Wanna hang out with me, kid?" Lucy smiled, happy for attention, finally, and started pulling Selina to the house, "I wanna watch Catwoman!"

"Oh, God, no," Selina protested just as they disappeared in the house. 

Pam stared after them, "Doesn't Catwoman wear, like, absolutely nothing in that movie? Shouldn't Lucy not be allowed to watch it?"

Harley waved down at herself, "Babe, all I wear 90% of the time are crop tops and booty shorts, I think she's fine by this point." Pam considered this, "Suppose so," 

"But, seriously, babe; What was happening there?" In response, Pam shook her head. Harley pursed her lips at Pam's stubbornness, "Don't like using this card but ya did promise ta talk ta me, Pamela. Remember?" After a moment, Pam sighed, "It's not a story I'd like to tell, Daffodil," She wrapped her arms around Harley's shoulders, and hugged her. It took Harley a moment to realize she could feel Pam's tears on her neck, and yet also she could feel the curve of Pam's smile, "I wanted to be married, have kids, have a family that loves me for me, that doesn't see me as a freak like the rest of the world does. We have that, now; You, me, Selina, and Lucy. So," She took her face away from the crook of Harley's neck to kiss her straight on the lips, "Thank you for loving me." 

Smiling softly, Harley cupped Pam's cheek and wiped her tears away, "Aw, Pam. Ya don't have ta thank me for that."

"I thought about coming to you, after Batman took all that from me," She admitted, "But I knew you'd just leave me, as always. I didn't bother trying."

"Pamela," Harley pulled her in for another hug, and kissed the top of her head—which was something she normally couldn't do because of their height difference, but Pam was leaning into her and so her posture wasn't straight. "I know I was awful ta ya. I'm sorry. Ya should've come ta me, though," She still didn't know exactly what happened, but whatever did happen, she felt like shit knowing Pam didn't think she could come to her. Pam sighed, and muttered, "I hate talking about emotions. I hate feeling human." Harley chuckled a little, "I know, sweetie." 

"You're the reason I'm so human," She continued, and Harley pursed her lips, but Pam clarified, "You're worth it, though. I love you." 

"I love ya, too."

—

Harley's hand hovered over Selina's phone in hesitation. She wanted to call home, but she also really didn't want to. On one hand, she did love her mother. One another hand, if her brother was anywhere near her mother while they were talking, he would undeniably be a piece of shit, and Harley would want to throw someone out a window. But it had been a long time since she'd visited Brooklyn, and Harley Quinn had disappeared from the media save for gossip, so they probably thought she was dead by now. Lucy had been asking if she had grandparents, too, and... She did, really, and Harley's mother was the least shitty and least dead, so...

"Fuck it," Harley said out loud as she tapped her mom's phone number onto the screen, then held the device to her ear. She drowned out the ringing, and listened to the guys on T.V. talk for a second.

"Maybe it was Quinn who killed the Joker," One man was saying. The other started laughing and said, "Yeah, right. She's one weak bitch, probably the worst villain out there, and you think she offed the Joker?"

To the T.V. she yelled, "Fucking fight me you—" right as her mother picked up. "—you beautiful soul how are you, Ma?" Sick save, Harley, she thought to herself. Her mother was silent for a split second, before groaning and not even trying to pretend she was happy to hear from her daughter. It hurt. "Harleen," Her mother said, her voice showing the disappointment. "Why are you calling?" 

Trying her best to sound like her Mother's annoyance and disappointment wasn't making her want to fall off a cliff, Harley said, "It's nice to talk to you, Ma... I can't visit right now, and it's been a long time. Thought ya might be happy to hear from me," She was failing at explaining, probably, "Media thinks I'm dead, figured I'd best let ya know I'm, well... Not." 

"Mhmm," 

Chewing her lip until it bled, Harley tried to get the woman to be happy about her, "I'm going straight. For real, this time. I— I have a daughter and I'm getting married."

"You're marrying that clown?" Her Mother asked, sounding disgusted, "And you had a kid with him? Honestly, Harleen, what did you do to yourself?"

"Okay, first of all, Joker has been dead for, like, a long time," Harley informed, finding it shocking her mother had somehow failed to notice all the buzz about Joker's death, "And... My daughter, Lucy, I did have her with him... She really wants to meet you... And, I'm getting married to Poison Ivy." She waited for her response that would probably be like, "why in the shit are you marrying the walking tree", but her response instead was, "Who?" 

Apparently, this woman didn't understand what the news was. She didn't know the Joker died, she didn't know Poison Ivy existed... Alrighty. Harley instead went for, "Her name is Pamela Isley. She proposed ta me something like, two years ago—we've been trying ta wait until the buzz about us and Joker is a little less—but she's absolutely perfect, Ma, you'll love her,"

"A woman?"

"Yeah— She's so smart, and pretty, and powerful, and I love her so much, and she really loves me." Harley was basically word-vomiting now, but... Hell. "She has a Ph.D., and she treats me real good, and she and our friend Selina are taking care of Lucy with me, and she's so adorable—she makes a huge point of telling me and Lucy how much she loves us, and she's such a good mom, and I don't know what I did ta deserve her, and— I'm gonna shut up now, sorry, Ma."

"...Okay, then."

"Would... Would you come to our wedding when we have it?" 

There was a moment of silence, before her Mother said something about having to cook dinner, and she hung up. A knot formed in Harley's stomach, though she knew she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up. She, somehow, was an even bigger disappointment to the family than her brother, the failed rockstar who doesn't know how to do anything on his own. 

Harley could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks and she cursed at herself.

Fortunately for her, Selina came walking in right then. Sighing, Selina pulled Harley close to her, "C'mere, kid." Harley buried her face in Selina's shoulder and hugged her tightly. "Thanks, kitty," She murmured.

—

"Harley, not to rain on your parade, but Lucy doesn't know about the whole Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and Catwoman thing," Pam reminded, "I don't know how you expect to invite people like Harvey and Eddie." Harley had been trying to make wedding invitations, and it wasn't going too well. 

Pouting, Harley looked at Pam like she had two heads, "Pretty much the only people we know are criminals, though." This made Pam grimace as she started looking further through the list Harley had hastily written on a notebook page. "Couldn't we just tell everyone ta not dress up like they usually would?" 

"Harvey's got two faces," Pam countered, "Penguin wears a suit, not a disguise, plus his nose is pretty recognizable. Also, we aren't inviting him." 

"Why not?!" Harley half-yelled, baffled by this, "Ozzy's our pal, Red!"

Scoffing, Pam scratched his name away, "He's the reason both Selina and Joker found us. If he comes anywhere near our wedding, I'll strangle him. Further issues with your idea; Lucy has seen plenty of pictures of Deadshot without his mask. Eddie will never shut up about riddles. Also, why would you want Boomerang there? He's disgusting." 

Rolling her eyes and pretty much falling off the bed, Harley complained, "You're such a buzzkill, ya know that?"

"No, I'm pointing out obvious issues. There's a difference." 

"Shhhh," Harley whispered, "Don't be a smart ass. Can we please, please, please just invite everyone?" 

"If you want to tell our two year old daughter we're both crazy murderers that the world hates and all our friends are as well, be my guest." Pam muttered, crossing off Scarecrow's name as well, "I don't know what to do, Harley. God... Maybe she'll forget in a few years? Or... I don't know, maybe she's so young she won't think for two seconds about it? I just don't know." 

Harley climbed back onto the bed and stared at her list, "Why Scarecrow?" Pam immediately answered, "He killed my plants with that fear toxin crap."

"That was seven years ago—"

"That doesn't bring my babies back, does it? In fact, I still haven't forgiven Selina for when she didn't water that plant." Harley raised her hands in defeat, and Pam turned back to the list. "This is a mess," She muttered, and Harley laughed.


	37. 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel it's necessary to share this story:
> 
> Me: mom tell me a bedtime story
> 
> Mom: once upon a time
> 
> Mom: Harley and Pam kidnapped batman
> 
> Mom: and used him as a sex slave
> 
> Me: what
> 
> Mom: I don't know where that came from I'm so sorry

National City really was a lot nicer than Gotham, Pam thought, as she gently dropped seeds into the holes she'd dug evenly apart and in depth in the soil. It was hard to find anything but weeds in Gotham, while here at least she could see bright flowers in the windows of apartments and potted trees in the front of buildings. Her home was surrounded mostly by concrete, but she'd filled wooden crates with dirt and was content to have her garden that way. 

It was nice today; the sun was pleasantly warm on her vibrant green skin, she always had loved the feeling of the soil on her hands and on her knees where it had spilled onto the concrete where she knelt, the flowers she'd already planted were growing to be absolutely lovely. Harley had even made breakfast that morning and she was clearly improving, she didn't burn the pancakes or make that big of a mess. She was rather happy here, with them.

Once Pam had placed all the seeds, she carefully scooped soil to fill in the holes and patted them down gently. Her fingertips lingered over the freshly placed dirt, thinking. Truly she did enjoy to watch her babies grow day by day, but she did want these to blossom as soon as possible. She thought Harley might like them. In a second she used her powers, and the lovely little things poked from the ground where she'd planted them, and as she whispered words of encouragement to the little things, the buds opened to reveal the beautiful, frail petals not a minute later. The flowers were Morning Glories, the petals a soft, gentle blue that reminded her of Harley's eyes that were the same. Fingertips brushing over the soft petals of one, Pam smiled. 

Just as she was considering getting Harley and showing her them, she heard the creak of the back door and Lucy came to her as fast as she could and grabbed at Pam's hair, a habit she hadn't shook since she was a baby. She claimed it was too soft to ignore. Pam's smile only grew more vibrant as her and Harley's daughter came up to her, her flowers singing a lovely tone, too, but her smile turned into a look of concern as she looked at Lucy's face, crinkled with something bordering concern or fear. "What's wrong?" She asked, brushing some of Lucy's brown hair from her face and calmly taking her own red hair away from the girl's strong grip. 

"How come Mommy's freakin' out? I don't know what I did, did I make her mad?" Lucy's little voice shook, "I didn't mean t..." She sniffled. 

Worry spiking through her, Pam asked, "What happened, darling?" But Lucy didn't answer, too busy sniffling over her mother being upset with her, and Pam took Lucy's little hand, "Lucy?"

"I said somethin' 'n she, she started sayin' words you tell me I can't say," Lucy said, "Crying. She say to go hang out with you," Pursing her lips, Pam stood and instructed, "Go to your room for a little bit, I'm going to go talk to her, okay?" Lucy sniffled again, but nodded, and let Pam lead her to her room. The botanist could hear Harley's muffled crying the second she stepped in the house, but she was sure Lucy couldn't see how worried she was for Harley. "It's okay, honey," Pamela assured, as Lucy sat down on the floor near her toys and grabbed her Batman figurine, before shutting the door to her bedroom and going to find Harley.

She found Harley sitting on the floor against the couch with her hands on her head, tugging on her hair hard enough it could only be painful, eyes screwed shut and trying to stop the flow of tears that fell past her eyelids. Pam sat in front of her quietly, and gingerly took both of Harley's hands away from her hair and held them at her lap. "Harley," She said, watching as Harley stiffened up and still kept her eyes away from Pam, though she opened them. "It's dumb," Harley said, "Really, it's dumb." 

"Don't be silly. What happened?" 

Harley laughed a little, though it sounded bitter, "'Lucy says, 'Ain't it funny how that clown guy Batman fights kinda looks like me and you?' Then goes on and says, she says, 'Maybe he wasn't that bad. He's pretty funny,'... I shouldn't have started cryin', I s—scared her, but... Guess that mindset runs in the family, huh?" Remaining silent, Pam held one of Harley's hands to her lips and kissed her knuckles. "Can I admit somethin', Red? I still miss him, and I'm still scared of him, and it's stupid and," She shook her head, "I don't want Lucy to end up as stupid as I am, y'know? Them comments were definitely a 'Harley' thing, and me thinking stuff like that is what landed me in hell for the rest 'a my life. I'm an idiot." 

"You're not stupid, Harley," Pamela sighed, "What happened to you was in no way your fault, he was a horrible, deranged man who manipulated and used you. In the end you were the one who stood up to him, and you were the one who took your freedom back." She shifted so she was now beside Harley, and she held the woman tightly to her. "Lucy being like you, save for those parts of your life, would be absolutely wonderful. You're the strongest, smartest woman I know, and most people can only wish to be even close to as amazing as you are. You're so happy and positive despite everything," She murmured into Harley's hair, "You have so much love for life, and it's pretty baffling in my opinion, but damn. Not everyone can go through what you have and still be so loving towards everyone and everything."

"She makes one little comment and I turn inta a mess," Harley groaned in Pam's chest. "I saw her face, she's scared." 

While it was true there had been fear and worry etched into the darling girl's features, it didn't matter much right now. She and Harley could take care of Lucy later, after Harley was calmed down. "It's not your fault, sweet pea," Pam said slowly, gently, to her, "We can explain that there are some things she shouldn't talk about around us. She'll understand someday why we're all an utter mess," She used 'all' referring to herself, Harley, and Selina. 

The comment got Harley to giggle, and Pam smiled down at her slowly relaxing figure, "We are a huge mess," She agreed. The tears seemed to have stopped, at least for now, and Pamela was grateful. Then Harley's laughter seized again, and she quietly said, "I feel really guilty. That she looks like him, I mean. Skin's like me and his, and she's got his eyes. Though, her's are a lot less scary. They're nice, like yours, but the color is his." 

Squeezing the woman in her arms and placing a firm kiss atop her head, Pam countered, "Please. That girl is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, next to you," To this, Harley snorted, and Pam continued, "Meanwhile, that man? I've seen things in Gotham's sewers that look better than him." It was all very, very true. And there were some freaky rats in those sewers. Moving her head so she could look at Pam, Harley laughed, "You're funny, Pammy."

"I can be when I want to," She supplied, and wiped the remaining tears from Harley's adorably round cheek, then asked, "Are you feeling okay, now?" To this, Harley nodded, and hugged Pam so tightly Pam was sure her back might break, "Ya really know how ta treat a gal, Red," 

"That's good."

"I'm still worried, though."

"That's all right, sweetie. It'll all be okay." 

With the next thing, Harley seemed to hesitate, sitting up away from Pam and running s hand through her messy hair, "Pammy?" Her eyebrow raised, encouraging Harley to continue. "...I'd like ta move back ta Gotham someday. I," She apparently felt the need to defend her hope, "Like it here, really, I do, but Gotham was our home for so long. It was kinda a bad place but it still was good. And, and the Bat said he ain't gonna get us, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad? We could get an apartment, not some shitty, shady one for criminals. A normal one, like normal people, y'know?" 

Only a beat passed before Pam nodded, "I'm happy as long as you are."

"Pamela," Harley said, "I... Thank ya so much, for everything. I really can't easily express how happy ya make me."

Smiling, Pam kissed her.

—

"You're so pretty, Kitty," Harley practically wailed as Selina stepped out of the dressing room, wearing a gorgeous bride's dress that reached her ankles. The Cat smirked, before looking at herself in the mirror, and commenting, "I think I look better in suits. Pretty sure if I walked around wearing a suit, every single person I passed would drop their pants." Giggling, Harley shook her head, "Ya do look hot in suits. But ya look really, really, really pretty in these dresses."

"That's because they're all like, thousands and thousands of dollars worth. Of course they look good," Selina laughed, going back into the dressing room and the sound of ruffling fabric was heard as she started to pull the dress off, "They all look even better since my billionaire fiancé is paying for whatever the fuck I want." 

"You're a dork." 

"Says you, babe." Harley watched under the door as the white fabric fell into a circle at Selina's feet. "I think that's enough for one day. I think I'd rather go get pizza and ice cream and jeopardize my hot body." Harley could respect this, "Girl, I've never related more ta ya." Not two minutes later did Selina step out, wearing her dark skinny jeans, boots and a leather jacket. It was funny how different she looked in that than in those dresses. "Get off your ass, let's go." Selina said, grabbing her purse and sunglasses. Harley stood, and called to Lucy, who was on the other side of the store, talking to one of the employees who seemed to be enjoying entertaining the girl. 

Lucy rushed over to her, and looked up at Selina with stars in her eyes, "Did'ja pick one, Aunt Kitty?"

"Nah," Selina said, leaning down a bit and messing up Lucy's hair, "Figuring that out before its already time for the wedding sounds like Future Me's problem." Harley had no clue why Selina was taking forever to just buy a damn dress; both Harley and Pam had theirs, and they were pretty damn gorgeous, Harley thought.

Harley shoved Selina lightly in good nature, "You're such a bad influence." To this, Selina winked, "I try my best. Anywho," She said as the three exited the store, and started to walk down the street towards home, "Bruce doesn't care if our... more colorful friends come to the wedding. You know, the ones not currently in Arkham. As long as they don't try anything. Since those are basically you and Pam's only friends, and most of mine, he's fine with it." Sighing, Harley nodded. Even if the playboy billionaire was fine with folks on the criminal side of Gotham attending, the issue of Lucy knowing they were friends with said criminals was still a problem. "Pammy said no Ozzy or Crane." She informed the cat.

This didn't seem to matter much to Selina, "Fine by me. I'm sure I'm not on Oz's good side." She paused for a moment, thinking. "And Scare— Crane," She corrected, glancing at Lucy, who'd surely recognize Scarecrow, "Is a weird guy... You know, he and Eddie would be pretty great for each other."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Harley stared at Selina, "Ya mean they aren't already a couple?" 

"Are they?" Selina seemed to be thinking pretty hard about this new revelation. "Huh. We're inviting Eddie, right? Bet we can dig the details out of him." Harley hummed, "Dunno. He might be too upset over us not inviting his boyfriend ta the party ta talk to us." 

"Do you think Ivy's suspecting them, too?"

"We once had a very thorough conversation on who's probably at least a little gay, so yes, those two came up."

"Wait, who do you think is gay?"

Harley giggled, poking Selina's shoulder, "First, we're convinced ya are a raging bisexual. We all see how ya look at Pam sometimes, girl." Selina opened her mouth as if to argue this, but then gave a 'whatever' kind of shrug and said, "That's fair." Harley patted her shoulder in understanding, "It's okay, I'm super gay for her, too. Second, we think Batgirl's probably pretty gay. Supergirl, too." 

"Which Batgirl?" 

Harley pointed at Lucy, who looked very confused at this entire conversation, "The one she's obsessed with." Selina laughed, "Trust me, she's pretty gay. It's cute." 

Laughing as she picked up Lucy, who apparently wanted to sleep right here and right now, Harley nodded her agreement. "Are you sure you and Pam are okay with having the wedding in Gotham?" Selina asked once she was sure Lucy had fallen asleep, setting her hand on Harley's shoulder to make sure she had the clown's attention, "Obviously, it's a private affair, but the media has figured out Bruce and I are getting married, so I wouldn't be surprised if Vicki Vale or someone snuck into the wedding to write an article. And call me crazy, but I think everyone might freak out if they find out Bruce Wayne and I are having a double wedding with you and Pam." After a second, she added, "And that a lot of the guests are probably going to be criminals. We could have it here, no one would think Bruce's wedding is gonna be in National City."

"I wanna have it in Gotham," Harley said, smiling a little at Selina, "I miss the place, which is pretty dumb, but I do." 

Nodding, Selina took her hand away from Harley's shoulder. "Okay. Maybe we'll get lucky and Bruce'll learn how to keep unwanted guests out of his parties. I swear, it's not difficult at all to sneak in to his fundraisers and shit." 

Chewing her lip and messing up her lipstick, Harley looked at Selina with a little embarrassment, "Is it silly I don't understand why Pam would wanna marry me? She could have anyone she wants, and she's so beautiful and powerful, and I'm just some dumb loon who's only good for being a toy and a punching bag, as far as everyone's concerned." Taking a deep breath, Selina wrapped her arm around Harley's shoulders and stayed like that as they walked, "Harl, don't say stuff like that. You're not dumb—I've seen you in psychiatrist mode— and Pam's a loon, too. Hell, 'everyone' can go fuck themselves for being stupid enough to think you're a toy or a punching bag." Selina flipped off some guy across the street as if he were the entirety of 'everyone'. "It's not your fault all of that shit happened to you. And, finally, are you blind? No shit, Pam could get anyone she wants, but if you haven't noticed, you're the only person she wants to be with. She doesn't understand it herself, why she loves you so much, but she does, and she wants to marry you because you make her happy and she likes to make you happy and she thinks you're worth the world, which is extremely romantic and disgusting, but that's how it is with you two, so shut up." She promptly planted a kiss on Harley's cheek, and ended with, "Stop thinking so little of yourself. I hate seeing you think like that, and so does Pam." 

Harley shifted Lucy in her arms so she could hold the girl with one arm, then uses her free hand to nudge Selina's away from her shoulders, so she could hold Selina's hand, "Sorry. Hard ta stop thinking that way after doin' it for ya whole life." The comment was ended with a sad laugh, and Selina gave her hand a squeeze. "Ya and Pam make up for all of those shitty years, though. Thank ya, Kitty." 

"Don't mention it," Selina said with a wink.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long ass wait kids   
> but they gettin married so

“Why on earth did I let you talk us into flying?” Pam grumbled, her question directed towards Selina, who sat in the seats next to Pam and Harley’s with Lucy. The plane started to take off, and Pam squeezed her eyes shut, and grabbed Harley’s hand. It embarrassed her, to act in such a silly way, but she hated flying. She wouldn’t say it was fear, exactly, but she in no way enjoyed it. At all. She heard Selina laugh, and answer, “Because it takes a shorter amount of time, and Lucy here hasn’t flown in a plane before. And she wants to. Right, Luce?”

Backing up her point, Lucy’s excited little voice was loud, nearly a yell, as she said, “Yeah!” This earned a ‘shh!’ from a lady sitting in front of her. Pam could practically feel Harley glaring at the lady for shushing her daughter. 

“Pam, come on, it’s just a plane,” Harley said gently, running her thumb over Pam’s knuckles, “I get ya don’t like it, but it ain’t gonna be no fun if ya spend the whole trip trying to block everything out. We can close the window-y thing so ya can’t see outside the plane if ya want.”

“Yeah, Pam,” Selina joined, “this is the most exciting thing you’ll have done in the last, like, two weeks. You’ve gotten to the point where you were excited over doing a 1,000 piece puzzle with Lucy yesterday. You’re young, Pam, it’s too early for puzzles.”

“Next thing ya know, we’re gonna be buying ya knitting supplies and takin’ ya down ta the bingo hall.” Harley chimed in. “Also, giving our daughter hour-long speeches and power point presentations over how Batman is a ‘typical male aggressor’ does not count as fun.”

Pam cracked her eyes open a tad to glare at Harley, “Of course it’s not fun. I am informing Lucy of an issue so she is aware.” Then she turned her glare to Selina, “And puzzles are not just for the elderly. Many young people enjoy puzzles.”

Selina raised her eyebrow, “Sure, Pam.”

“Well, I would rather do a puzzle than engage in those silly X-Cube games.”

Lucy looked at Pam incredulously, “X-Box, Mama,”

“But what if she meant Game Cube?” Selina asked Lucy, who took this into consideration.

“Ooh, we should get an X-Box,” Harley half-yelled, “and get the Arkham series!”

“Why would you want that?” Pam and Selina asked in sync. Harley wiggled her eyebrows, “You’re really hot in it, Pammy. Sorry.”

Sighing, Pamela muttered, “Can this whole conversation end?”

Fortunately for Pam, Harley softened and used her hand to push a few strands of hair from Pam’s face. “Hey, it’ll all be okay. The flight’s not too long.” Then, her face lit up, and she dug around in her carry-on luggage with her free hand. Pulling out three worn, thick books, she smiled brightly, “Look! I brought those super boring science-y books ya like!” She shoved them into Pam’s lap.

Despite Harley calling the books she liked boring, Pamela couldn’t help but smile at Harley’s gesture. “Thank you, darling,” It really was a sweet thing to do.

“Way to fuel the nerd, Harls!” Selina clapped her hands together, “Now she’ll be too distracted to hear you and I talk about her ass.”

“Selina, Lucy is right next to you, shut up, please,” Pamela stared at her. Harley squeezed Pam’s hand, and held them up for Selina to see, “I think Pamela’s too busy crushing my hand ta be able ta pick up a book and read it, actually.” Pam looked at her but didn’t let go of her hand. It was embarrassing, but comforting and soothing.

Suddenly, Lucy piped up with a question, “What’s ass?”

“I hate you, Selina,” Pam turned in her seat a little so she could kick Selina’s ankle across the aisle. “You love me,” Selina said, with a little voice crack. Pam kicked pretty hard. 

“Holy shit, Pam,” Harley spoke up, and Pam was this close to throwing her soon-to-be spouse and their cat off the plane for cussing so fervently in front of their child. She made sure her expression showed her displeasure, but Harley didn’t seem to care, and she went on, “Can I— ya know—“ She tugged on her hair, which was long again but still not its original color. “For the wedding.” She wanted to dye her hair, Pam understood.

“Black and red again?” Pam asked. Harley shook her head, “I’m thinking I’ma go blonde again. But dye the tips.” At least that way, Lucy wouldn’t recognize the Harley Quinn hairdo, Pamela thought. She smiled at Harley, “Of course, darling. You wouldn’t be Harley if you didn’t do something crackers.”

“Oh, sure, it’s endearing until she tattoos the Bee Movie script on her ass on a whim,” Selina whispered, just loud enough to be sure Pamela would hear it. “Selina, please, never talk again.” She said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Hey,” Harley wriggled her hand free of Pam’s grip—to Pam’s further annoyance—and cupped her cheeks instead, turning her face to hers, “Let’s chill, babe, this is a good day!” She kissed Pam. Pam was amazed how her kisses could still fill her with such warmth, and comfort, and awe. She never wanted to feel any other way.

“Okay,” Pam agreed, and Harley smiled so, so brightly, as she held Pam’s hand again.

—

Harley was grinning in an impossibly wide manner as she ran into Wayne Manor, looking around with the excitement of a child. “Hooooly shit!” She exclaimed, “Everythin’s so pretty! And fancy!” Indeed, it was. Wayne Manor really was beautiful, if not overtly classy and pointlessly extravagant. 

“I’m glad it’s to your liking, Miss Quinn,” Alfred said calmly as he followed Selina into the Manor. He was holding Lucy, who had taken quite a liking to the old man. Pamela could share the sentiment, she supposed; Alfred had been nothing but kind and welcoming, which was even more a feat considering he was welcoming Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn into his home. Not to mention, Selina or Bruce must have warned him not to mention the villainous lifestyle of Harley and Pam to Lucy. Pam could respect this man. But, still, she corrected him on her fiancé’s behalf, “It’s Doctor, not Miss, please.” 

Understandingly, Alfred nodded, “My apologies. And, Miss Kyle, do try…”

“To not pocket anything, I get it. Only for you, Al.” Selina purred with a charming smile on her. Alfred chuckled, before saying, “I’ll take Lucy to her room.” Lucy was half-asleep in his arms. 

Pam joined Harley where she stood in the middle of it all and smiled at her. She was so excited, and it was beyond adorable. She was about to speak, when someone else did, in the charming, smooth way that could only belong to the Playboy Billionaire himself. “Welcome to Wayne Manor, ladies.” She looked up at him as he came down the main staircase, hands clasped in front of himself, wearing a fine suit and his signature smile that would have some women’s hearts pounding. “Bruce Wayne,” Pamela greeted in return, a bit of a sour touch to her smile and voice, but nevertheless she was going to act nice. Even if he was a snobby, petty, rich man— He was Selina’s fiancé, and he never did destroy nature, so he wasn’t Number 1 on her hit list.

“You’re lucky you’re hotter than him, Pammy,” Harley whispered in her ear, “because holy shit. If you didn’t exist, I would be like…”

“I know, honey, we’ve discussed Bruce Wayne’s attractiveness before.” She whispered back, rolling her eyes.

Bruce Wayne was before them in only a moment, and he said to Pam, “Pamela, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” At this, Pamela wanted to laugh. She was sure the last time she was in a room with Bruce Wayne, she had been poisoning an entire conference hall of disgusting men who poisoned the environment. And then he turned to Harley, who looked like she was about to bust a vine from smiling so much.

“And, Harley, you’re looking well,” He took Harley’s hand and kissed her knuckles before flashing his playboy smile once again. At this point Pamela was sure her eyes were going to roll right out of their sockets. Then, he went to Selina and kissed her straight on the lips in greeting. 

“I’m very happy for you two,” Bruce said towards Harley and Pam. Harley grinned, sliding her arm around Pam’s waist, “Pam’s a real sweetie, ya know.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow in good humor, “Poison Ivy, a sweetie? Unheard of.” Selina joined him, “You’re being generous, Harls.”

Harley stuck her tongue out at both of them. “Whatever.”

Alfred reappeared in the main room then, his lips pulled into a gentle smile, which was caused by Lucy if Pam had to guess. The kid had that effect on people. Alfred stood by the staircase, and looked at the lot of them, as Bruce said, “Alfred can show you your room, Harley and Pamela.” Pam nodded at him, such gesture being the most appreciation she was willing to show the man. Her sleeve was then grabbed by Harley, who was basically bouncing up and down, her pigtails bopping along. “C’mon, Red!” Said Harley and Pam smiled at her as she grabbed she and Harley’s suitcase before they both followed Alfred up the staircase. The long, long staircase.

“Here we are, ladies,” Alfred said as he stopped at a door, and held it open for the two of them. Harley ran inside with as much excitement as she had when she entered the Manor, She squealed, launching herself onto the massive bed. Pam shook her head at the girl in good nature, before thanking the old butler, who nodded and shut the door as he left. 

“You’re a dork,” She told Harley, as she made her way to the bed, too, however much more gracefully than the clown. 

“Thanks,” Harley giggled, grabbing Pamela’s biceps and practically pulling her down onto the bed. Pamela landed with an ‘oof’, and couldn’t help but smile as Harley kissed her neck. For a second, Pamela thought to argue against it, but it didn’t take much for her to simply close her eyes and relax into her fiancé’s tender kisses. Traveling wears a girl out.

“I’m so happy that you’re marrying me, Pammy,” She heard Harley whisper, her lips moving against Pam’s neck as she spoke. “I’m so happy.”

“Me too, baby,” Pam whispered back, unable to stop the corners of her lips from quirking up in a genuine smile. 

Harley squeezed Pam against her, giggling a little, “Just a few more days, huh? I can hardly wait that long.”

Pamela hummed in agreement. The sound turned into a yawn, as Harley started combing her fingers through her fiery hair, the movement lulling her further into her sleepy state. Harley clearly noticed, and she soothed, “Take a nap, sweet pea, I’ll wake ya up before dinnertime.”

With that, Pam fell into sleep.

—

The 24-hours before the wedding day was absolute hell, Pamela decided.

Apparently, unbeknownst to Pam, there was some stupid tradition about not seeing the bride (brides) before the wedding— bad luck or some shit. And, apparently, Harley was really into those stupid traditions. Which, no, Pam wasn’t surprised about, since Harley will be Harley, and Harley likes clichés. But it still seemed pointless, and silly, and annoying. Especially since Bruce and Selina weren’t doing that nonsense— It was just Harley being Harley. 

And it was even worse because Harley kept texting her the most teasing texts— which was a bitch move, when Pam wasn’t allowed to be in the same room as her, let alone take her up on her teasing text messages. 

“You look like you’re about to bust a vein, girlfriend,” Selina was smirking at her, as Alfred poured her a glass of red wine. Sure she was blushing, Pamela locked her phone after replying to Harley and set it face-down on the table. “This is bullshit,” Pamela muttered. 

Alfred raised his eyebrow, “Now, Dr. Isley,” He rounded the table to pour Pamela a glass—she probably needed it. “It’s rather endearing how set she is on keeping up tradition, don’t you think?”

Pursing her lips, Pamela stared at her glass as it was filled with the alcohol. “I suppose,” She admitted. It was rather nice, how full of fantasy and cliché ideas Harley was. She loved Harley. But… “It’s also frustrating.”

The old butler chuckled and left, as Pam’s phone buzzed again. She picked it up, unlocked it, and checked her messages.

Harley: check ur snapchat ;)

Pam opened said app—which Harley forced her to download, like, a year ago—, tapped on Harley’s name, and immediately her face went bright red and she dropped her phone on the counter. She took a long drink of her wine, conjuring up in her mind about a million cuss words. 

“Oh, god,” Selina choked, “Don’t tell me she’s sending you—“

“Don’t talk to me,” Pamela snapped at her, thoroughly embarrassed.

After a few minutes of regaining herself, Pamela picked her phone up again and went back to messages. 

Pamela: Give me a warning next time. Selina almost saw that, Harleen.

Harley: umm?? 

Harley: babe if u get a text that says check ur snap

Harley: with a WINKY FACE

Harley: u know whats up. if u decide to take a peak in public thats ur biz. remember to turn ur brightness down 

Pamela: Harleen Frances Quinzel, why are you torturing me?

Harley: ;)

Pamela groaned outwardly, so Selina’s amusement. “She giving you a preview of your honeymoon phase?” She asked, and Pamela put her head in her hands, miserable. “This is the woman I’m marrying,” She realized with faux horror.

“Tell me about it, I’m marrying the man who has never once in his life made his own bed.” Selina shook her head, sipping her wine.

“That’s sad,” Pamela agreed, and Selina sighed. 

Pam’s phone buzzed again, and Pam hand to keep herself from smacking her head on a wall. 

—

The day of the wedding had to have been Harley’s favorite day of her life.

She hadn’t seen Pam yet, as per her own rules, but she had seen Selina, and Bruce, and all the guests. Selina looked absolutely beautiful in her dress, and Bruce looked pretty damn fine in his tux, as well. 

Of the people she recognized, she’d seen Kara Danvers (who was with Barbara Gordon, commish’s daughter, the whole time, and Harley had put it together Barbara Gordon was the girlfriend), Harvey, Eddie, Floyd, Dinah, Ollie, and quite a few other of her friends. Even Waylon was there— even for a giant crocodile man who ate people, Waylon was actually really sweet— He was currently keeping Lucy entertained, with his own free will. 

There were a ton—and she meant a TON— of people who were there because of Bruce and Selina, and Harley had no idea who any of them were except for Barbara.

Also, Lucy had on the cutest flower-girl dress you could ever imagine. Lucy was just adorable in general, but… Aw.

“Are you excited, Harls?” Selina asked behind her, as she pulled the silver zipper of Harley’s dress up. Harley was jittery, practically bouncing on her heels, smile so wide her cheeks were sore. “Uh, yeah!” Harley told her, “I’m about to marry the prettiest woman on the planet— no offense, Kitty.”

Selina scoffed, “None-taken. She’s hot as hell.” She took Harley’s blonde hair in chunks and started to curl it. “You know, I can’t believe these fucking super villains showed up to a wedding.”

“You know they’re all a bunch of softies.” Harley reminded her, laughing suddenly. She caught Killer Croc crying over The Notebook once.

“Fair point.” Selina agreed, and after a few more curls, she grabbed hairspray and sprayed it all over Harley’s hair. She let the tight curls fall over Harley’s shoulders, and then she was hugging the clown from behind. Harley’s eyes went wide with surprise, but she put her hands over Selina’s and leaned back into her hug, smiling a little. “Dammit, kid,” Selina muttered dryly, “you're turning me into a softie.”

“If I can make Poison Ivy become a softie, you’re hardly a challenge Kitty-Cat.” Harley giggled, wriggling out of Selina’s hold so she could turn around and plant a kiss on the cat’s cheek. 

Selina smiled, eyes glistening with something Harley wasn’t used to seeing in her’s, “Good luck, kiddo.”

“To you, too,” Harley said in turn.

—

Selina and Bruce did their vows and were married first.

Alfred walked Selina down the aisle, and admittedly, Harley cried a lot. Alfred looked so proud and happy for Bruce and Selina, and the second after they said their ‘I do’s’ and kissed, they were practically surrounded by those people Harley didn’t know— Several boys with dark hair, who all looked freakishly similar for some reason, a woman with bobbed red hair and skin as pale as Harley’s, a couple of blonde girls, and Barbara Gordon. They were laughing and patting Bruce on the back.

And then it was she and Pam’s time. Harley saw Waylon with Lucy sitting on his shoulders for a brief second before Lucy was scrambling down in order to get to her. When she did, she looked up at Harley with stars in her eyes, “Are you ready, mama?” She asked, and Harley grinned at her daughter. “More than ya could know, baby.” 

That’s when her eyes finally caught sight of Pam, who she hadn’t seen until then, and she was sure her heart stopped, and she was sure her face was going to be stuck in a permanent smile if she didn’t stop grinning. 

Pam was coming towards her, a smile just barely visible on her red lips, and she looked as beautiful as ever, if not more so. When Pam reached her, Harley ushered Lucy back to Waylon.

“Hey,” Harley squeaked, giggling a little, itching to kiss Pam right then.

“Hey,” Pam said in return, her voice not giving away her nervousness at all. But Harley knew she was; her freckles cheeks had the slightest tint of red, she was biting her lip a little. 

God, Harley wanted to kiss her. 

“Shall we?” Pam asked, holding her arm out with a wink, and Harley gladly linked arms with her and made their way to the officiator.


End file.
